FUCK!!!
I can sooooo stab myself right now-- I can't believe how irresponsible and inconsiderate I was today!
OK, it all started two weeks ago when Dr. T called me to set up a breakfast date. He called later that day to move it to two weeks later, because another thing came up. So we set it up for Monday, May 29, 8:30am in Bizu Greenbelt. I had even jotted it down in my notepad at home, so I would be reminded on Sunday night to leave earlier than usual.
Fast forward to last night: I did not get the reminder, because the maid moved the notepad's location (previously easily within eyesight range when I get ready for work). So I went along my usual business today-- logging in at work at 10am, working all day long, getting home at 10pm, eating dinner, taking a shower...
While I was in the shower, BAM! It hit me like a tidal wave. FUCK!!! For a moment, I hoped that I had remembered the appointment wrong-- that it was supposed to be Tuesday (hence, tomorrow) and I did not just stand up the Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences of UA&P who has to-date been nothing less than SUPERB to me.
No, no, no...
I hurriedly jumped out of the shower, covered myself in a towel, and ran with lightning speed across the room to look for that damn little notepad.
FUCK!
There it was: May 29, Monday, 8:30 at Bizu. Be there!
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
I flushed red with shame as I picked up my cellphone and called the first man I had stood up in my entire life.
"Doc! Kill me now! I'm soooo sorry!!!" was the start of my 5-minute apology. Hyperventilation, here I come!
As usual, he was very gracious about it, telling me not to worry, that he had used the time to work and that nothing was really to be sorry about. He tried to call me earlier this morning but my Globe line (he only has my Globe number) was out of reach.
AAAH! FUCK GLOBE! GLOBE SUCKS! I HATE GLOBE! GLOBE SUCKS! GO TO HELL, GLOBE!
So anyway, after apologizing profusely, we set another appointment -- for DINNER this time, and I gave him my Smart number, which, I said, I use all day, everyday, and NEVER LOSES SIGNAL!
I love Doc. He was super gracious about everything-- even made fun of me giving myself a heart attack (because I was near hysterical when apologizing). I mean, if I were him, I'd be pissed off.
Hay nako.... My face is fire-engine hot right now just recapping what happened. Waaah! KAKAHIYA!!
Monday, May 29, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
i love this song...
When You Know
Shawn Colvin
When You Know
That you know
Who you love
You can’t deny it
Or go back
Or give up
Or pretend
That you don’t buy it
When its clear this time
You’ve found the one
You never let him go
Cause you know
And you know
That you know
When you feel
In your skin
In your bones
And the hollows
Of your heart
There’s no way
You can wait
Till tomorrow
When there isn’t any
Doubt about it
Once you come this close
Cause you know
And you know
That you know
You can feel
Love's around you
Like the sky
Round the moon
This is how
Love has found you
Now you know
What to do
When you know
That you know
Who you need
You cant deny it
Or go back
Or give up
Or pretend
That you don’t buy it
When its clear this time
You’ve found the one
You’ll never let him go
Cause you know
And you know
That you know
And its time
You come in
From the cold
And you know
That you know
Shawn Colvin
When You Know
That you know
Who you love
You can’t deny it
Or go back
Or give up
Or pretend
That you don’t buy it
When its clear this time
You’ve found the one
You never let him go
Cause you know
And you know
That you know
When you feel
In your skin
In your bones
And the hollows
Of your heart
There’s no way
You can wait
Till tomorrow
When there isn’t any
Doubt about it
Once you come this close
Cause you know
And you know
That you know
You can feel
Love's around you
Like the sky
Round the moon
This is how
Love has found you
Now you know
What to do
When you know
That you know
Who you need
You cant deny it
Or go back
Or give up
Or pretend
That you don’t buy it
When its clear this time
You’ve found the one
You’ll never let him go
Cause you know
And you know
That you know
And its time
You come in
From the cold
And you know
That you know
Monday, May 22, 2006
the stain in my little white sheet
Most days, I love working here. Judging from the workplaces I've seen in my short professional career thus-far, this by far offers the most extensive, most intensive marketing experience. In the span of time I've been here, I've never seen a more dynamic work environment. Things move so fast it makes your head spin. The pace not only hones your ability to adapt, it also sharpens your skill set in record time.
I love it here because it's real marketing, in real-time. The work is more than I can ever hope it to be. I wanted marketing, and I got it here.
The only blemish in this otherwise utopian place is the amount of social politics going on. There have been one too many times when I was shocked stiff by the intrigues and the pulitika going on. Coming from my old company, it was indeed a rude awakening-- to see the desperate lengths people go to protect their agenda, the backbiting and the mudslinging that would've put the showbiz scene to shame. I guess it's a slice of real life also-- it's part of the real world to contend against people who are willing to stab whomever and whatever necessary to get ahead. Style na bulok, I know, and it's just so sad to see that some people believe that the only way to get ahead is to abandon loyalties and con their way up.
And, I may be naive, but I find it really pathetic. It's pathetic because victory obtained through those means just seems so empty. That's truly no way to work (not to mention no way to live). How can you enjoy your title when you can't look at yourself in the mirror or sleep soundly at night? How can you truly relish your success when it was won at the expense of others? Wouldn't a clean conscience and a clean name be deemed as a worthier prize to covet?
However, I'm trying to be realistic with this too-- in the sense that I know I have to play this game, whether I like it or not. Playing this game does not mean stooping to their antics and jumping into the foray. For me, playing this game is just being careful and watching my own back-- knowing that in this dog-eat-dog world, nobody is ever truly my friend... and hope against hope that my gut will tell me when it's time to fight back, when it's time to back down, and when (hopefully it never happens) it's time to step out of this jungle because enough is enough.
No job is ever worth your integrity.
I love it here because it's real marketing, in real-time. The work is more than I can ever hope it to be. I wanted marketing, and I got it here.
The only blemish in this otherwise utopian place is the amount of social politics going on. There have been one too many times when I was shocked stiff by the intrigues and the pulitika going on. Coming from my old company, it was indeed a rude awakening-- to see the desperate lengths people go to protect their agenda, the backbiting and the mudslinging that would've put the showbiz scene to shame. I guess it's a slice of real life also-- it's part of the real world to contend against people who are willing to stab whomever and whatever necessary to get ahead. Style na bulok, I know, and it's just so sad to see that some people believe that the only way to get ahead is to abandon loyalties and con their way up.
And, I may be naive, but I find it really pathetic. It's pathetic because victory obtained through those means just seems so empty. That's truly no way to work (not to mention no way to live). How can you enjoy your title when you can't look at yourself in the mirror or sleep soundly at night? How can you truly relish your success when it was won at the expense of others? Wouldn't a clean conscience and a clean name be deemed as a worthier prize to covet?
However, I'm trying to be realistic with this too-- in the sense that I know I have to play this game, whether I like it or not. Playing this game does not mean stooping to their antics and jumping into the foray. For me, playing this game is just being careful and watching my own back-- knowing that in this dog-eat-dog world, nobody is ever truly my friend... and hope against hope that my gut will tell me when it's time to fight back, when it's time to back down, and when (hopefully it never happens) it's time to step out of this jungle because enough is enough.
No job is ever worth your integrity.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
amazing cebu!
I'm back from amazing, amazing Cebu!
I love being on vacation. I did nothing but eat, sleep, swim, (a little) shopping, and just rest. I looooved our hotel and our 7,000-a-night room, which we paid nada for. There's nothing better than Cebuano lechon! I love it, I love it, I love it!
I can't believe I have to go back to work again tomorrow.. Back to the daily grind..
However, on the bright side, Doc Torralba called me this morning and asked me for a meeting. Hmm.. I smell an upcoming project in the horizon! :) Hope it's something exciting :)
I love being on vacation. I did nothing but eat, sleep, swim, (a little) shopping, and just rest. I looooved our hotel and our 7,000-a-night room, which we paid nada for. There's nothing better than Cebuano lechon! I love it, I love it, I love it!
I can't believe I have to go back to work again tomorrow.. Back to the daily grind..
However, on the bright side, Doc Torralba called me this morning and asked me for a meeting. Hmm.. I smell an upcoming project in the horizon! :) Hope it's something exciting :)
Thursday, May 11, 2006
calculated risk
I'm very amused with a friend of mine right now. As a backgrounder, she is what one would call a sigurista. She prefers to have a strong footing over a situation before putting one step forward into it. She's cautious with herself and guarded as to who gets real close. This is not to say, though, that she is untrusting or perpetually suspicious. It's just a sense of self-protective wariness that stems from not wanting to be hurt. A perfectly human thing.
I don't blame her. In fact, there are times I see myself in her, but there are also times when I wish I could have her strength. I admire her for her natural instinct of self-preservation. I admire how she's sure enough of herself to expect a level of quality in people and in situations that, when the gauge falls below the bar, she can walk away from whatever is being offered, knowing that she deserves more than that.
There have been times, I admit, that I didn't calculate risk as much as I should've. I ended up getting disappointed, hurt or angry-- more at myself than at another person. Pissed at myself for knowing I was worth more but succumbing anyway.
But this friend of mine currently finds herself at the cusp of something that has all the potential of being great. She's at the brink of having something that, not only has she never had before, she's always wanted. She's made enough security measures, that's for sure. Nothing less is expected of her. But as she faced me yesterday and asked me questions on how to know if something is real, or how long is long enough.. I couldn't help but laugh.
The thing is, when it comes to love and relationships, nothing is ever for sure. You can try everything in your power to stack up the odds in your favor. Calculate the risk, project the probability of failure, measure the length and breadth of his emotions, and all you'll end up with are logical conclusions which, in the final analysis, have no relation to love anyway. In the end, you just have to believe. Believe that you've seen all that can be seen, he's shown all that can be shown, and that the rest is simply a leap of faith. Know that there's a risk involved, but hey that's life, and nothing in life is worth having if it's not something you can lose.
You can win, you can fail. You can reap the rewards of your faith, or you can stumble and fall face-first into the puddle of your mistake. There's no guarantee you won't be lied to, you won't get hurt, you won't be left behind... But that's the beauty of it. There's no guarantee. Everything is up to you and him. It's about what you two make of this great possibility that lies before you.
The ultimate crime will be not trying.
I don't blame her. In fact, there are times I see myself in her, but there are also times when I wish I could have her strength. I admire her for her natural instinct of self-preservation. I admire how she's sure enough of herself to expect a level of quality in people and in situations that, when the gauge falls below the bar, she can walk away from whatever is being offered, knowing that she deserves more than that.
There have been times, I admit, that I didn't calculate risk as much as I should've. I ended up getting disappointed, hurt or angry-- more at myself than at another person. Pissed at myself for knowing I was worth more but succumbing anyway.
But this friend of mine currently finds herself at the cusp of something that has all the potential of being great. She's at the brink of having something that, not only has she never had before, she's always wanted. She's made enough security measures, that's for sure. Nothing less is expected of her. But as she faced me yesterday and asked me questions on how to know if something is real, or how long is long enough.. I couldn't help but laugh.
The thing is, when it comes to love and relationships, nothing is ever for sure. You can try everything in your power to stack up the odds in your favor. Calculate the risk, project the probability of failure, measure the length and breadth of his emotions, and all you'll end up with are logical conclusions which, in the final analysis, have no relation to love anyway. In the end, you just have to believe. Believe that you've seen all that can be seen, he's shown all that can be shown, and that the rest is simply a leap of faith. Know that there's a risk involved, but hey that's life, and nothing in life is worth having if it's not something you can lose.
You can win, you can fail. You can reap the rewards of your faith, or you can stumble and fall face-first into the puddle of your mistake. There's no guarantee you won't be lied to, you won't get hurt, you won't be left behind... But that's the beauty of it. There's no guarantee. Everything is up to you and him. It's about what you two make of this great possibility that lies before you.
The ultimate crime will be not trying.
Monday, May 08, 2006
cebu escapade
In spite of myself, I'm really looking forward to my upcoming vacation in Cebu this weekend. The flight and accomodations were free (long story how we got it), so Giselle and I are embarking on a three-day, two-night escapade this weekend.
And guess where we're staying....
Presenting Hilton Cebu Resort and Spa Hotel. It's a resort nestled right on a private beach in Lapu-Lapu City in Cebu. At first, when I saw the hotel confirmation sheet, I wasn't sure if it's gonna be a good place, since our benchmark was Mactan Shang... But after checking out their website... how cool does that look?! I was suddenly washed over with excitement and enthusiasm over this impending trip. I've been lamenting the fact that I haven't gone on vacation yet this summer season and the fear that the sunshiney season will come and go without me ever enjoying its benefits..... and then, this gift lands on my lap! How lucky is that? :)
Too bad lang that my beau won't be able to join us. For one thing, he can't take a leave on Friday. Another thing, if he comes with us, he'll be bunking alone, 'coz Gis and I are sharing a room... So oh well, next time nalang.
I can't wait to go on vacation!!!! :)
And guess where we're staying....
Presenting Hilton Cebu Resort and Spa Hotel. It's a resort nestled right on a private beach in Lapu-Lapu City in Cebu. At first, when I saw the hotel confirmation sheet, I wasn't sure if it's gonna be a good place, since our benchmark was Mactan Shang... But after checking out their website... how cool does that look?! I was suddenly washed over with excitement and enthusiasm over this impending trip. I've been lamenting the fact that I haven't gone on vacation yet this summer season and the fear that the sunshiney season will come and go without me ever enjoying its benefits..... and then, this gift lands on my lap! How lucky is that? :)
Too bad lang that my beau won't be able to join us. For one thing, he can't take a leave on Friday. Another thing, if he comes with us, he'll be bunking alone, 'coz Gis and I are sharing a room... So oh well, next time nalang.
I can't wait to go on vacation!!!! :)
credit shmedit
I called HSBC earlier to inquire about the balance my credit card has racked up so far. It will be due sometime towards the end of this month na, and I have a feeling it will be bloated really really badly, so I was thinking of preparing already beforehand, i.e. making deductions from my two bi-monthly payslips to settle the amount.
When the digits were read out to me by their IVRS machine, I nearly fell off to the floor. P33,640!!! WTF?!?! I've never ever seen a figure that high on my credit card bill -- any bill with my name on it, for that matter.
Hay...
When the digits were read out to me by their IVRS machine, I nearly fell off to the floor. P33,640!!! WTF?!?! I've never ever seen a figure that high on my credit card bill -- any bill with my name on it, for that matter.
Hay...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
update!
The anniversary
Last Friday marked the 365th day I've been in this fun-filled and love-filled relationship. And I'm lovin' it.
To be honest, when we were first going out, I have to admit that the attraction wasn't instantaneous for me. Sure, I liked the attention (what girl doesn't?) and his persistence in doing everything and anything that would please me. But, learning from experience, much as these things are enjoyable (what girl minds being waited on hand-and-foot?), I reserved judgment until I could see something more substantial-- a sense of commitment and security, as well as a connection charged with enough potential that a good future is in sight. A lot of "now" and not enough "tomorrow" just strikes me as a total waste of time.
So time passed by, and we got to know each other a bit more. This stage is under-rated, in my opinion-- as this is the most crucial. What's more commonly known as ligaw shouldn't be misinterpreted as a period where the man proves himself to the girl. It's a mutual thing, I believe-- what's being tested is not one person's sincerity but the bond and connection between both parties.
In the end, it was the build-up of great dates, great conversations and the rolls and rolls of laughter that finally got me sold. Sure, he was very persistent in impressing upon me, his diligence and consistence in that effort, and his unrelenting desire to please me. But, more than anything else, it's the personality of this great great guy that did me in at the tailend.
So, here I am, one year of loving him and being with him..
and I'm lovin' it.
The new toy
After some difficulties in setting it up and getting used to it, my little new toy and I are finally getting along!
Welcome, Gladys, to the world of mobile music!
The new film
Just finished watching a new DVD-- another really dorky film, something only I would find so much interest in. I don't know exactly where the allure of this comes from, but I guess it's just because, deep down, I'm just ... a dork. A nerd.
Oblige me, please. It's a good film. :)
The new books
I have a new favorite author-- Jodi Picoult-- and a new favorite book:
Borrowing the synopsis written in her webpage, this book is about Anna, a young girl of 13, who is not sick, but who might as well be. By age thirteen, she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions, and shots so that her older sister, Kate, can somehow fight the leukemia that has plagued her since childhood. The product of preimplantation genetic diagnosis, Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for Kate - a life and a role that she has never questioned… until now. Like most teenagers, Anna is beginning to question who she truly is. But unlike most teenagers, she has always been defined in terms of her sister - and so Anna makes a decision that for most would be unthinkable… a decision that will tear her family apart and have perhaps fatal consequences for the sister she loves. My Sister's Keeper examines what it means to be a good parent, a good sister, a good person. Is it morally correct to do whatever it takes to save a child's life… even if that means infringing upon the rights of another? Is it worth trying to discover who you really are, if that quest makes you like yourself less?
The conclusion
As you can see, these past few days have been very eventful-- lots of new things happening and a celebration of something that, though not new per-se, still feels as fresh and exciting as if it started just yesterday.
I love this life! :)
Last Friday marked the 365th day I've been in this fun-filled and love-filled relationship. And I'm lovin' it.
To be honest, when we were first going out, I have to admit that the attraction wasn't instantaneous for me. Sure, I liked the attention (what girl doesn't?) and his persistence in doing everything and anything that would please me. But, learning from experience, much as these things are enjoyable (what girl minds being waited on hand-and-foot?), I reserved judgment until I could see something more substantial-- a sense of commitment and security, as well as a connection charged with enough potential that a good future is in sight. A lot of "now" and not enough "tomorrow" just strikes me as a total waste of time.
So time passed by, and we got to know each other a bit more. This stage is under-rated, in my opinion-- as this is the most crucial. What's more commonly known as ligaw shouldn't be misinterpreted as a period where the man proves himself to the girl. It's a mutual thing, I believe-- what's being tested is not one person's sincerity but the bond and connection between both parties.
In the end, it was the build-up of great dates, great conversations and the rolls and rolls of laughter that finally got me sold. Sure, he was very persistent in impressing upon me, his diligence and consistence in that effort, and his unrelenting desire to please me. But, more than anything else, it's the personality of this great great guy that did me in at the tailend.
So, here I am, one year of loving him and being with him..
and I'm lovin' it.
The new toy
After some difficulties in setting it up and getting used to it, my little new toy and I are finally getting along!
Welcome, Gladys, to the world of mobile music!
The new film
Just finished watching a new DVD-- another really dorky film, something only I would find so much interest in. I don't know exactly where the allure of this comes from, but I guess it's just because, deep down, I'm just ... a dork. A nerd.
Oblige me, please. It's a good film. :)
The new books
I have a new favorite author-- Jodi Picoult-- and a new favorite book:
Borrowing the synopsis written in her webpage, this book is about Anna, a young girl of 13, who is not sick, but who might as well be. By age thirteen, she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions, and shots so that her older sister, Kate, can somehow fight the leukemia that has plagued her since childhood. The product of preimplantation genetic diagnosis, Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for Kate - a life and a role that she has never questioned… until now. Like most teenagers, Anna is beginning to question who she truly is. But unlike most teenagers, she has always been defined in terms of her sister - and so Anna makes a decision that for most would be unthinkable… a decision that will tear her family apart and have perhaps fatal consequences for the sister she loves. My Sister's Keeper examines what it means to be a good parent, a good sister, a good person. Is it morally correct to do whatever it takes to save a child's life… even if that means infringing upon the rights of another? Is it worth trying to discover who you really are, if that quest makes you like yourself less?
The conclusion
As you can see, these past few days have been very eventful-- lots of new things happening and a celebration of something that, though not new per-se, still feels as fresh and exciting as if it started just yesterday.
I love this life! :)
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