Sad to see that the weekend has passed, because I loved it!
Saturday was FILC lunch (minus Kaye :( but it's all right, she had a family thing). Though it was marked by an unfortunate development in the life of one of FILC's members, it was fun to be with girlfriends and talk about girl stuff. Even the confession was entertaining to discuss. I guess girls will always be girls, and this is stuff we'll only talk more about in the years to come.
After lunch with the girls is shopping and a splendid little dinner with my beau. Lovely, lovely! We went back to the venue of our first dinner date. It wasn't planned or anything, which made it extra-nice :)
Sunday was mass with my family, a super duper HUGE lunch at Sugi, then some more shopping. After walking around with tired feet, my beau and I treated ourselves to a little foot pampering. D was so cute, he fell asleep on the couch about 5 minutes into the treatment. Tuloy, he couldn't appreciate the massage to its entirety-- he missed most of it! Hahahaha! I, on the other hand, enjoyed every single minute. My feet were begging for some relief! :-p
The weekend was simple in the sense that I didn't really do anything extraordinary. But it was filled with all the people I love, and I can only ask for more weekends just like it for the rest of my life.
Side note: I SHOULD STOP SHOPPING & SPENDING MONEY. My wallet is suffering from intense, severe, chronic hemorhaging. (But, there's an upcoming Zara sale!) WAAAAH! Poverty is such an impediment to cultivating good fashion sense.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
let's see the world
I only have one friend who not only has the passion for travel (as in, 100% real, honest-to-goodness love for seeing & exploring the world) but also has the resources to make her travel dreams a reality. She's definitely one of a kind! She not only loves the idea of trekking different places of planet Earth, she also loves meeting new people and living new cultures. And, clicking through the pics from her recent jaunts, I couldn't help but wish I could be like her--a true-blue globetrotter, who can pack up and leave for any destination the next day without any reservation for cost or danger, without anything holding her back (no one and nothing she'll miss too much) and without any qualms about dropping all notions of comfort and luxury.
I wish I could be like that, one day. For now, I live vicariously-- oh so vicariously!-- through her.
You go, girl. Conquer the world!
I wish I could be like that, one day. For now, I live vicariously-- oh so vicariously!-- through her.
You go, girl. Conquer the world!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
the shame letter
I know you will never get to read this... Ignorance is indeed bliss. I at least find absolution and relief in knowing none of this ever hurt you, because you never knew about it. It's actually the only reason I can forgive myself for this....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sorry for two things.
1. I thought I was being the realistic and practical one for worrying about it the way I did. I thought I was just being responsible and grounded for focusing on the practical side of life, when really I've never been more deluded.
The reality is that when you love someone, you love them through and through. Completely. You don't cherry-pick only the parts that you like. Selectively loving is not loving at all.
It's not fair of me to pick and choose the good sides to you and then reject or resent the parts of your life that I do not want. When I choose a man, I have to be able to stand next to him-- and stand proudly at that.
And I know I love you, that's why I have to be honest-- I have yet to make peace with the parts of your life that are less than ideal. It's going to be a process, I know, but I will do it, because that's the only way I can do justice to this relationship.... and in fact, that's the only way I can prove to myself that I love you. That I accept you heart and soul-- both the good and the bad.
2. I'm also sorry for believing that some prophecy was more important and more indicative of this relationship's potential than what we've been through. I was wrong in letting some man's allegations and predictions precede what my heart tells me. Leafing through past emails to friends and past blog entries made me realize that. What we have is real, and that prophecy isn't. Whether it does foretell things to come is out of the question. It was stupid of me to think the fate of this relationship is anything but ours to create. Our story is ours, D. We write it. Nobody else. It develops and matures the way we let it; if it does end, it will end because we chose it to. Nobody else. Again, I was deluded enough to think otherwise.
I've been unfair and I'm sorry. I wronged you in ways so fundamental, I feel like the biggest fraud in the universe of girlfriendhood. I'm sorry. You love me more than anything in the world and you've done nothing but devote yourself to me every day that God creates. In return, the best assurance I can give is the promise to try-- to try to cherish you in all the ways I can, to make peace with all the baggage you come with and to stand by you through the peaks and valleys of life.
That's the best I can do for now, and the bittersweet part of this is I know you'll be okay with that. I revel at how nothing I do to you can ever be too wrong-- too unforgivably, irreparably wrong. You will never take all this against me, and I love you even more because of that.
And you know what, no matter how life turns out, I'll love you forever for that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sorry for two things.
1. I thought I was being the realistic and practical one for worrying about it the way I did. I thought I was just being responsible and grounded for focusing on the practical side of life, when really I've never been more deluded.
The reality is that when you love someone, you love them through and through. Completely. You don't cherry-pick only the parts that you like. Selectively loving is not loving at all.
It's not fair of me to pick and choose the good sides to you and then reject or resent the parts of your life that I do not want. When I choose a man, I have to be able to stand next to him-- and stand proudly at that.
And I know I love you, that's why I have to be honest-- I have yet to make peace with the parts of your life that are less than ideal. It's going to be a process, I know, but I will do it, because that's the only way I can do justice to this relationship.... and in fact, that's the only way I can prove to myself that I love you. That I accept you heart and soul-- both the good and the bad.
2. I'm also sorry for believing that some prophecy was more important and more indicative of this relationship's potential than what we've been through. I was wrong in letting some man's allegations and predictions precede what my heart tells me. Leafing through past emails to friends and past blog entries made me realize that. What we have is real, and that prophecy isn't. Whether it does foretell things to come is out of the question. It was stupid of me to think the fate of this relationship is anything but ours to create. Our story is ours, D. We write it. Nobody else. It develops and matures the way we let it; if it does end, it will end because we chose it to. Nobody else. Again, I was deluded enough to think otherwise.
I've been unfair and I'm sorry. I wronged you in ways so fundamental, I feel like the biggest fraud in the universe of girlfriendhood. I'm sorry. You love me more than anything in the world and you've done nothing but devote yourself to me every day that God creates. In return, the best assurance I can give is the promise to try-- to try to cherish you in all the ways I can, to make peace with all the baggage you come with and to stand by you through the peaks and valleys of life.
That's the best I can do for now, and the bittersweet part of this is I know you'll be okay with that. I revel at how nothing I do to you can ever be too wrong-- too unforgivably, irreparably wrong. You will never take all this against me, and I love you even more because of that.
And you know what, no matter how life turns out, I'll love you forever for that.
Monday, June 12, 2006
tell me how and i'll do it
If your feelings for someone seem so intertwined with his, how do you know where his love ends and yours begins? Does the way your love had come to life dictate how it's going to end?
If he hadn't knocked at your life so insistently, would you have opened the door and allowed a space in it for him? If he had turned and walked away at the initial no, would you have called him back? Or would you have gone on, none the wiser about what you missed?
.. and if the stars say he's not the one for you, how do you tell your heart you're wrong? How? How? How do you change what seems meant to be and make it adapt to the choices you've already made-- the same choices you want oh-so-desperately to hold on to? How do you twist the shape of fate into what you think it ought to be?
At times like this, I miss my best friend. I wish she were back here at home with me, and not miles and miles away.
If he hadn't knocked at your life so insistently, would you have opened the door and allowed a space in it for him? If he had turned and walked away at the initial no, would you have called him back? Or would you have gone on, none the wiser about what you missed?
.. and if the stars say he's not the one for you, how do you tell your heart you're wrong? How? How? How do you change what seems meant to be and make it adapt to the choices you've already made-- the same choices you want oh-so-desperately to hold on to? How do you twist the shape of fate into what you think it ought to be?
At times like this, I miss my best friend. I wish she were back here at home with me, and not miles and miles away.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
guilty as charged
I'm guilty. I did it. I was wrong.
For the past few days, I've been terribly guilty of committing the crime of not appreciating the blessings I have. Particularly when it comes to this wonderful wonderful man who loves me more than life itself.
I've been wrong in seeing the shortcomings and focusing on what he doesn't have, instead of appreciating the good traits he has and the good things he brings into this relationship. No other person has given me so much security, so much love, so much faith and so much devotion. He would gladly take a bullet for me, would be honored to offer his life in exchange for mine and wouldn't hesitate to give up everything for me. He'll get me the world if I wanted it and would also let it all go, if I so wished.
Instead of always being thankful and always appreciating all this, I've been so unwise and so immature as to complain inwardly about the things he lacks, when, really, this relationship is so rich in the good stuff that love is made of. I'm the girl with the cake who's looking for the cherry on top.
Good thing, though, I wasn't so unwise as to verbalize those complaints and risk hurting this one angel in my life. Good thing, I wasn't that stupid.
Sigh...
I know better now, though. And I vow to always know better-- everyday of my life.
For the past few days, I've been terribly guilty of committing the crime of not appreciating the blessings I have. Particularly when it comes to this wonderful wonderful man who loves me more than life itself.
I've been wrong in seeing the shortcomings and focusing on what he doesn't have, instead of appreciating the good traits he has and the good things he brings into this relationship. No other person has given me so much security, so much love, so much faith and so much devotion. He would gladly take a bullet for me, would be honored to offer his life in exchange for mine and wouldn't hesitate to give up everything for me. He'll get me the world if I wanted it and would also let it all go, if I so wished.
Instead of always being thankful and always appreciating all this, I've been so unwise and so immature as to complain inwardly about the things he lacks, when, really, this relationship is so rich in the good stuff that love is made of. I'm the girl with the cake who's looking for the cherry on top.
Good thing, though, I wasn't so unwise as to verbalize those complaints and risk hurting this one angel in my life. Good thing, I wasn't that stupid.
Sigh...
I know better now, though. And I vow to always know better-- everyday of my life.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
need shopping updates, tips and more?
I know a great resource...
http://shopcrazy.com.ph
Check it out now and then for the latest shopping tips, news, articles and more :)
http://shopcrazy.com.ph
Check it out now and then for the latest shopping tips, news, articles and more :)
Thursday, June 01, 2006
lifestyle change
The halls of Smart are about to be transformed by the entry of our new boss today, who shall assume the role of marketing director. Contrary to his predecessors, this new boss times in at 7:30am, thereby adjusting the body clocks of everyone in the marketing department. Now, everyone has to time in at 9am!
Hahahaha! Today is his first day; hence also the first day of this new time-in policy. I came into work with a full-on headache, having been forced to wake up 2 hours earlier. About half of the floor felt the same way. The other half had really swollen eyes badly abused by excessive rubbing-away of sleep.
It was so funny. Our floor was full of life already at 10am, when it was meet-and-greet sessions with the new boss. However, now at about 2:30 in the afternoon, everyone's already low-batt.
HAHAHAHA! Oh well... This must be how little kids feel on the first day of class after being on vacation and sleeping-in for the longest time.
:-p
Hahahaha! Today is his first day; hence also the first day of this new time-in policy. I came into work with a full-on headache, having been forced to wake up 2 hours earlier. About half of the floor felt the same way. The other half had really swollen eyes badly abused by excessive rubbing-away of sleep.
It was so funny. Our floor was full of life already at 10am, when it was meet-and-greet sessions with the new boss. However, now at about 2:30 in the afternoon, everyone's already low-batt.
HAHAHAHA! Oh well... This must be how little kids feel on the first day of class after being on vacation and sleeping-in for the longest time.
:-p
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