the happy decision

Reminder to self: Happiness is a choice- a decision- and has less to do with circumstances but more to do about your attitude towards circumstances.

MBA updates

OK, I'm wrapping up my 7th term as an MBA student (wow, has it been that long???) and just enrolled into my 8th term (FYI- after the 8th, there are 3 more to go until graduation! CAN THIS BE OVER ALREADY, PLEASE!). While it seems like time stood still for the longest time because of my seemingly unending MBA journey, the rest of my life seems to be going by in record time. Before I knew it, I'm about to enter the 5-month mark until our Mr-and-Mrs Day, and in about a month's time, we would've been engaged for a year already! How fast! Also, in a month or two, our condo would've been renovated already and it's time to bring in the furniture. Again, how fast! Next thing I know, it's my FILC bridal shower, then it's September (which is also budget season in Smart) and then the big day is here!

Anyway, this update is supposed to be about my MBA. Sometimes, I really have doubts on why I'm on this particular uphill battle, when it's completely optional. In fact, an overwhelming majority of my friends and colleagues do not carry MBA degrees, so there are days when I question myself and ask why the hell am I subjecting myself to this kind of torture. Why would I want to stay up some nights and study or read or write papers, when I could be out enjoying the last few months of singlehood? Why would I choose to wake up at 7am on a Saturday to make it to an 8am class in Taft, when I could be blissfully slumbering 'til a more decent hour and enjoy my weekends in full?

Believe me, such doubt-full days have come and they have come aplenty. But in the final analysis, I guess I am doing this for more than 1 reason, and these are all good reasons (at least except on days when I'm tired and stressed and overstretched and I'm cursing myself for being a masochist). These reasons are:

1. While I love my undergrad course, I do feel there are serious limitations and weaknesses to it, the biggest of which is the fact that marketing is not a stand-alone skill, especially when you intend to go up the corporate ladder and be a director or head in a business or corporation. It takes more than just marketing to make a business run, and I feel that a marketing background alone is not enough to arm oneself in debates in the boardroom or even civil discussions with colleagues in the elevator. I feel an MBA will make me more qualified in the next corporate progressions to come, and I want to be prepared. Granted, I still do feel that marketing is my biggest and best skill, but that doesn't mean I have to confine myself with marketing.

2. I do plan to have my own business in the future, so a holistic management orientation would definitely be helpful. As it is now, I find myself understanding the business side of things better than I did when I only had an IMC degree. So I think it's surely an advantage. I hate not being able to understand finance or HR or even operations when they discuss their issues with me; so what better way to understand them than to study what they are talking about. Not because I just want to know, but I feel that to have my own business in the future, I need to know what the other branches of management are dealing with.

3. I want to do this now that I am still single (not for long, I know) and without a baby in my life. I know that my priorities are bound to change and there will come a time when myself is not the only thing I have to think about or take care of. So now that I have the luxury and leisure of doing so, I figure, why not pursue something I've wanted for myself and something I can be proud of as a good, solid achievement? Something I want to be able to anchor myself on when a baby gets too demanding or sacrifices need to be made. I guess, bottom line, I do not want any regrets, which is why I'm pushing myself to make it to the MBA finish line. If I don't, I know I'll kick myself and live in regret in the future. I don't want any what-ifs. I don't want to live halfway.

There you go. I guess that's it. I need to be reminded of these things when I'm sitting at home on a Saturday working on an MBA paper when my friends and colleagues are at the JT concert. Haha! Ok, back to work :P

i surrender..

all my worries and troubles to You. I know You know what's best and I'll trust You'll only give us what we can handle and what we deserve.

Amen.

needs to be met

I know I'm blessed in so many ways, so please do not misinterpret this post as an ungrateful, selfish one, because it's anything but. I do not desire for more than I need, nor do I carry selfish motives in asking for this need to be filled. I just want a comfortable, pleasant home to come home to every night and face the day with every morning. And I believe this is not an overly extravagant thing to wish for.

So, in Chinese and Buddhist tradition, I pray to the God of Fortune to please help us secure the financial means to do the condo renovations and all accompanying costs they necessarily carry. I do not wish for over and beyond the basic things included in our scope of work for the condo. Please please please.

And thank you in advance :)

GIBO!!!!

I know that he's not the most popular candidate, nor the most funded one, but I am proud to tell whoever cares to ask that I'm voting for Gibo. I am a fervent believer that integrity is not a good-enough reason to vote for someone, and integrity isn't even a platform of government. I believe that any government position should be regarded as a profession, on top of being a calling. The "calling" part is hard to validate, as this is something that only the person concerned and God will know for sure if sincere. But the profession part can definitely be checked and ensured. And I know that I definitely look for credentials and competence when shopping for a doctor, for a lawyer (well, I don't need to shop for this, but you get my drift), and even a secretary! So why not expect the same from a president? And by competence, I don't refer to Gibo's Harvard degree or anything on his resume. All one needs to do is to bring an open mind to any of the debates and you will see what I am talking about. This is the guy who has a plan for the problems this country has, and he articulates this in such an eloquent manner that I know he'll do a great job in diplomacy and international relations, something that our country is in bad need for, since we need aid to be readily available for our economy and for disaster relief when needed. Some people have asked me why I didn't choose Gordon, and my answer is, if Gibo weren't running, I would probably be behind Gordon. But since he is, the reason I'm not choosing Gordon is the eloquence part. His verbal style is very abrasive and quite condescending. I don't know if he means to, but he strikes me as a professor or lecturer when he talks, and God knows that's not good for diplomacy. Also, the fact that he cannot endear himself to people by virtue of his dryness does not appeal to me. And it's not because of anything superficial, but I believe public office is also about managing public opinion. In short, you must know how to make people feel better during dire times or make them believe you. And I feel Gordon doesn't do a good job at that.

Gibo may not have the funds of Villar, to enable him to keep his advertising TARPS so consistently high. This is the only tragedy in his campaign, because his conversation rate is more than 90%. This means that for every 10 people who have accessed Gibo's platform and heard him speak, 9 are converted to become his voters. This is extremely high and just shows proof of what the man is made of. It's just unfortunate, because conversion rate is not enough to win this election. It needs to be coupled with awareness, which unfortunately is a function of spend. Hay. Alas, money is what Villar has that Gibo does not.

And don't even get me started about Noynoy. Though I was initially attracted to the whole yellow power thing, now, I am convinced more than ever not to vote for this guy. Not only does integrity not enough for me to pick a president, I do not even think Noynoy has this so-called integrity. He is just riding on the coat-tails of his parents, and who wants a president like that? If all you have to offer is the promise you will not steal, then anyone else on the street can claim that. Not doing something is not enough to anchor a campaign on. And if all you have to offer is your parentage, and your bloodline, then you should just wish we have a monarchy. That way, only the family surname and family tree matters when choosing a president.

Hehehe. That's all I had to say on the matter. Whatever your reasons may be, go ahead and make your choice. As I have made mine too. :)

Corn Silk!

Ok, so a talk with my parents had us rationalizing the work we'll have done in the condo. Essentially, the time-tested adults advised us to minimize the renovation work we'll pay for in the condo, bearing in mind resale value after 5-10 years (our estimated time living in the condo). It's better, they say, to minimize renovation expenses so you don't have to recover so much in total condo expenses when the time comes that we'll be pricing the property for sale. Buyers do not care if you spent a lot in a certain brand of tiles or a certain range of dressers. They also hardly care if you spent big bucks in taking down wall to make the space "breathe" more. For as long as we consider the place livable, we should just do minor tweaks and updates.

They had a good point, no matter how my stubborn bratty side tries to resist it. They've done this before, and their perspective actually comes with a lot of sense. It's just that the girly girl in me got all excited in the renovation and the end-result that the magic of interior design can make you infatuated with. But I guess in the end, practicality wins the game.

Oh well, papel...

So now, I'm occupying myself with going through paint options and seeing what I like and don't like. As of now, this is what I am crushing on as the color of our master's bedroom:

Corn Silk!

Isn't it pretty yet not too girly yet relaxing and shiny & bright? Makes you wanna relax after a long day yet welcomes you into a bright new morning and ready to face the day. :)

Wow, that's a lot of adjectives for a kind of paint ;P

Jute! :)

Got these today, on what was the first shopping trip I've been on ever since 2010 started (clap clap clap!) I only allowed myself to go shopping because we got our 2009 bonus yesterday and I felt like celebrating. Hehehe. OK, enough justifying my shopping urges, here's what I got for myself. I love love love love them. Not only are they comfortable, I love how they look! And, strangely enough, I pictured myself being a mom running around and doing errands as I wear these. Hahaha! I know, how weird :p

P.S. These are called Jute espadrilles and come from Spain. They're made of 100% natural materials, are super duper comfortable and the pricing is pretty reasonable. Super comfy even if they're platform wedges :p

hmmmm

rumble in the jungle???

delinquent bride?

Sometimes I look at my fellow brides and can't help but compare myself with them. Is it normal not to think about your wedding every day? If not, then I'm totally a delinquent bride! I don't know what it is about my personality, but it's just not in my character to focus only on 1 thing in my life at a time. Perhaps that's reflected in how I choose to lead my life, i.e. I am never just about 1 particular thing, even if it means a lot to me. I maintain a good career, teach (half the year, at least), take up MBA, plan my wedding and plan the condo renovation all side-by-side, not just because I want to do all these things, but also because I just cannot stand to "stand" for 1 thing alone. I don't know why, sometimes I do feel I'm stretching myself too far, but overall, I find I'm happier this way.

Which leads me to another topic. Some people have brought up this topic with me a few times, and my answer has always stayed the same. When we do decide to have babies, I do not plan on putting a stop to my career. Not only because of financial reasons (though I admit those are powerful reasons all on their own), but also because I know that it's not the way I'll be happy. I will know my priorities though, for sure, in the sense that I know that my family is the most important thing and the most dispensable thing should be work. I fully intend to drop everything whenever my family needs me.

However, I find that there is more than 1 way to be a good mom, and that does not necessarily equate to staying put at home and mother all day, every day. Don't get me wrong, I respect and completely admire women who make the decision to stay at home. It's just not the way I would do it, because I know I will be unhappy not being productive and my kids and husband will know I'm unhappy. So at the end of the day, it serves no one. To be a happy person, I need to be a rounded person. In an ironic way, to be a good mom, I cannot allow myself to solely be a mom. Does that make sense? Just like, to be a good wife, I know I cannot allow myself to solely be a wife.

I guess the same thing goes for other things in my life. I just cannot stand being boxed into just 1 thing- being a working girl, being an MBA student, being just any one thing. And I guess it looks like I'll carry on living this way even after the wedding and after babies.

Oh, and another thing... It may sound weird, I know, but I also cannot take the fact that both titles- wife and mom- are titles that only exist in relation to someone else. Again, don't get me wrong, I love Dennis more than my heart can ever express, but I cannot live for him and him alone. I suspect the same thing would apply to my children. As much as I love them and would give up my life for theirs, I cannot confine my life to my relationship with them. My relationship with myself- how happy I make myself- also matters. And I happen to think it's only right that it matters. It's not selfish to want things for yourself, to save some hours of the day for yourself, and save some parts of yourself and not give it away to others, even if, by others, you mean your family. It's only right and it's only fair.

OK, am I even making sense?? How did I get to this topic when I was just thinking about being a delinquent bride? I don't remember anymore. The topic just popped back up in my head :P Oh well.