foot caught in the door

Hahaha, saw this online just now and found it so cute. It's a rubber stiletto shoe meant to be used as a door stopper. What a cute gift! And it's only $10!

paycheck bummer

One of the few perks of working where I work is the number of months you're paid. Now, there's no guarantee of that anymore. What a bummer.

But then again, this is where the famous line of Attorney Chan comes in. When you join a company with the primary reason of you liking the job and not because they happened to be the highest bidder for your services, then the increase or decrease of the number of months you're paid doesn't hurt your motivations as much. It's like the cherry on top of your cake was taken away. As long as you really like the cake in the first place and even though you will still miss the cherry, it's not the end of the world.

So there. It's not the end of my world, granted. Because I really like this job. But I am sooooooo gonna miss that f*cking cherry.

cheesy entry about my folks...

Had a long family meeting last night, where we discussed a broad range of topics-- from why my brother shouldn't quit his job and handle the family business, to what my youngest brother should do after graduation, to what I'm doing now and what I wanna be doing in a few years time. Throughout the discussion, whose mood went from serious to light to funny then back to serious, I caught a glimpse of the inner motivations of parents and was awestruck by a huge "consumer insight" about my folks.

Truly, parents only want the best for this children, and "best" here often means getting opportunities they themselves didn't get when they were younger... And, more importantly, turning out even better, even bigger (not literally, I hope, esp in the case of my brother Kendrick, haha!) than them.

They don't want their children to exactly follow in their footsteps, but instead leverage on what they've started and be an even bigger success, to be an even happier, even more fulfilled persons. It's all about bridging the potential with the actual-- armed with the opportunities and the facilities that they've made available to us, they want to ensure we fill out our absolute potential and be the best version of ourselves we can be.

I just think it was so endearing, and as I mentioned in an earlier entry, I'm grateful to see that my parents have taken a shift in their treatment of us kids-- from mere children who know nothing of the world to young adults who are capable to making decisions but prefer to make them in conjunction with (or under consultation with) our parents. I think last night, they were even more grateful to see the premium we place on what they think or recommend. They've seen more than one example of their friends' children totally bypassing mom and dad and going ahead and making life-altering decisions without their knowledge nor consent. I think, above all, they were happy that we were good kids. No matter how else we turn out (professionally, socially, intellectually, etc), being good kids is definitely a good start.

OK. Enough tooting the Co horn. Just want to say that-- I love my folks and I love my family! :)

birthday bash ala kaye

So Kaye had her little birthday bash yesterday (and delayed celebration na rin of her and Rap's engagement), where we all stuffed ourselves silly (especially with the dessert spread) at Circles. Needless to say, the food was glorious. I had loads of the one item I eat most at buffets (barring the dessert stuff)-- salmon sashimi! And the dessert was heavenly, I can't stress that enough. Thanks, Kaye! :)

After the 3-hour dinner (see, nasulit talaga!), we headed over to M Cafe, for a supposedly 1-round of drinks... which eventually turned into a 5-rounder between Dennis and Ian, and a two-rounder between Rap and Martin. Thanks to the open bar, courtesy of Hennessy.

Let me just say how cute it was to see my beau and Ian talk about political story after political story, sharing their own experiences, talking about "raids at ___clubs"- nonstop while smoking their 895-peso Dunhill cigars. Hahahaha! 'Twas such a riot-- watching them smoke with one hand and carry the cognac on the other. They looked so ancient :p

But in fairness, they both looked the part of a successful lawyer and a successful banker.

The above is truly remarkable, because my beau isn't the type to warm up to people after the 2nd or 3rd meeting. It usually takes longer, and usually requires that the other party stay consistently interested in whatever he has to share. Well, except for me (malamang he had to be the one interested first, kundi walang mangyayari samin! Hahaha!), this is how most of his friendships and relationships have come to form. So, kudos to Ian! :)

and Happy Birthday to Kaye! Wishing you nothing but everything happy and everything good as you embark on a spanking-new part of your life with Rap :)

questions questions....

Need to de-stress. Lifted this off Julette's blog---

FIRSTS

1st time you tried smoking:
college. right outside mia's house. gopal was the B.I.

1st alcoholic drink you had:
beer

1st time you entered a bar:
i think 4th year high school

1st award you received:
best in conduct in grade 1 (hahahaha!)

1st hero:
Ken (as in Barbie and Ken)

1st time you were sent to the principal:
high school

1st college entrance exam you took:
U.P. Diliman

1st teacher in college:
Father Soria

1st job:
Banker

1st goal you achieved:
Being independent (living abroad)

1st crush:
Brad Pitt

1st person na binigyan mo ng flowers?
I think my lola

1st date:
in Pizza Hut somewhere near my school :)

1st friend:
Lianne Siy

1st kiss:
@ 16, hehehe.

1st movie you watched with a friend:
.....err... Apparently, it wasn't that memorable a movie

1st fight with a friend:
Eileen Lim. Forgot about what :P

1st gift you received from a friend:
stuffed toy

1st gift you gave to a friend:
stuffed toy (guess it was the thing back then huh)

1st record you bought:
lea salonga! hahahaha!

1st song you sang infront of many
a Chinese song about a cat and a mouse, back when I was young and impressionable... a.k.a. uto-uto. hahaha!

1st musical instrument you learned to
piano

1st concert you watched:
don't remember

1st celebrity you saw in person
don't remember

1st TV show you really liked:
i think it was batibot! :P

1st book you bought:
nancy drew

1st sport you played:
taguan yata :P

1st sleepover:
high school

1st terrible fight:
my bro. over what, i don't remember

1st prank:
don't remember :P

1st inaanak:
N/A

1st time you spent the night alone
in Singapore when I studied there at age 10

1st bestfriend:
Lianne

1st wedding you attended:
don't remember

1st person who greeted you on your last birthday:
Dennis :)

1st friend in friendster:
I think Lianne :)

1st time you got lost:
don't remember

1st cellphone:
6100

1st cellphone ringtone:
just a beep.

1st collection:
stuffed toys

1st club you joined:
the student council

1st time you felt proud of yourself:
when I lived alone in singapore

1st time you saw a ghost:
N/A thank God!

1st rollercoaster ride:
Star City

1st school you attended:
Uno High School

1st friend you had when you entered college:
Gen Ongchi

1st ambition:
To be a cashier. Kaching-kaching!

SECOND BRAINLESS SURVEY

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what did you think?
A new pimple. Great.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
P2,000

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
Chest

4. Favorite planet?
Ours

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Someone from work.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
The Nokia tune, hehehe.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
A Forever21 top I got for $15

8. Do you "label" yourself?
No

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing now?
Tiangge flats.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Julette was bored :P

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Talking to Dennis.

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"I love you!" yiheeeee...

14. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Outside my village

15. What's a saying(s) that you say a lot?
Lately, for some reason, it's "O.A.!"

16. Who told you they loved you last?
Dennis

17. Last furry thing you touched?
N/A

18. How many days of school did you miss this week?
N/A

19. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Too many

20. Favorite age you have been so far?
My age now

21. Your worst enemy?
No one :)

22. What is your current desktop picture:
None

23. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I love you too" yiheeeee.....

24. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose?
Show me the money, baby!!!

25. Do you like someone?
I love someone :P

26. The last song you listened to?
Anong meron ang taong happy.... nyarks!

27. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson?
Carmen Electra, hello!!

foolish thoughts

I think my obsession with JL's telenovelas are coming back to bite me in the ass. I know this blog entry will probably make me sound like the biggest closet jologs that ever lived (closet pa rin nga ba?!) but I don't care. I just found tonight's episode of MSKM so fit for my current situation. I think sacrifice is overrated yet underrated at the same time. Overrated because sometimes you just have to be practical and know what your limits are, and accept that there are just some things you cannot do and there are just some fairy tales that do not end happily.... yet it's also underrated because there are times you just have to forego what's superficial to be able to have and keep what really matters. See, all these foolish ideas being fed to my brain by that darn soap I just can't help but follow every night.

.....

Damn... The above is probably the most loser-ish paragraph I've ever written in my life.

Anyhoot..... you know what the say, when the going gets the tough, the tough goes shopping. However, since I just got my credit card statement the other day and am still feeling the remnants of swipe trauma, all I can do for now is window shop. Ain't these nice?

In other news, my friend Giselle and I are currently exploring starting up a travel agency business. She's willing to resign to manage it fulltime while I'm willing to cut back on some free time (whatever little I have) to do the sales and marketing work. We're still in the know-more-about-it phase, but I think it's looking quite good. At least we have the location down pat. We have an accountant and a lawyer (guess who?!) on board. We just need to sort out more details. Hopefully, this is the ticket to... something. Something substantial. Something solid. Something to hold on to. Lord, please!

.....

So many random, foolish ideas flooding my brain tonight. Might be a better idea to just go to sleep now.

positivity

Really, I'm trying my best to stay positive and still believe that things will take a turn for the better.

Really, that's the only way to deal with this entire thing. As hard-up as things may be, the truth is I love him too much to consider any other option. So what else is there to think about?!

...

So now, I'm just going to keep looking at the bright side until it blinds me.

i can feel a funk looming near...

Here I go again. Just a few days ago, I made the resolve to be more appreciative of what he can give and less frustrated at what he cannot. I made the promise to myself to focus more on the good parts of this relationship rather than mull over the less fortunate sides of his circumstances. I vowed to always remind myself that, despite everything, what I have is a good good good thing.

But what can I do, tao lang... Recent developments cannot help but call back that damn sense of disillusion I felt in the latter part of last year.. that nagging worry about how things will pan out for us in the future. I'm starting to again feel despair and intense sadness wash over me, as I think about what's been deprived of him and how utterly unfair it all seems to be.

I also cannot be so hypocritical as to allege that no part of this is selfish in nature, because, really, if you drill down to the heart of it, all these doom-saying voices in my head stem from my fear about our future... about my future with him... About THE dream becoming more and more challenging to attain. About the possibility flipping ominously onto the realm of impossibility... a.k.a. the ugly place where all dreams go to die...

The picture in my head may very well just remain that-- a picture. Nothing more. Reality may just be that cold splash of water telling me to wake up and live a life so different from what I had hoped for.

Nothing has ever sounded more depressing.

I can sooooo feel a funk looming near. Here I go again.

finally!!

Finally, her dream came true! K is engaged :)

it's that time of our lives...

So many people are getting engaged! Latest in the roster are my cousin Ann and my dear dear friend Kaye. Still can't believe Kaye is engaged (si Ann I can believe, she is, after all, 30 years old already and has been with Kenny for 11 years now) Grabe... it is indeed that time of our lives...

In other news, my other friend with a name starting with K had not-so-good-yet-not-so-bad news. The long and short of it is that he will propose this weekend. Finally. I just really really wish it finally happens for her and that all this heartache will have a happy ending after all. Hay. Spent two hours this afternoon with her, dissecting everything that happened, replaying it all in our heads and figuring out how she ended up here. To me, relationships are not easy, but they're not supposed to be this hard either. And hers is so gaddamn hard. I can't believe how much work it's taking, and I can't believe that it's her who's doing all the work... carrying all that burden, all that thinking and analyzing, all that wishing and waiting.

And for him to even have the gall to say she's speeding things up?! Hello, if after 7 years it's still too fast, ewan ko na!! My gahd! He's pushing 40!

I sure hope when my time comes, it won't be as complicated as this. Tsk tsk...

So many weddings, woohoo! I love weddings! I have three to attend this year.. so far.. Hehe.. Time to plan what to wear :)

welcome, 2007!

Preamble:

One of the benefits of having a blog is, much like a diary, you get to flip through the past year (or past months) and get a glimpse of the person you used to be, the circumstances that surrounded you then, and the thoughts & feelings you had for the most important and the most mundane aspects of life. I am thankful to have this online journal because it helps me look back at 2006 and see just how good life and God have been to me.

Some highlights:

1. On Work: Finally got a good foothold on my new job, got settled on the new environment, the new culture and the new job scope. Enjoyed my newly increased salary and got pleasantly surprised by my boss when she promoted me upon regularization. Sarap ma-promote! :P Went to a couple of trips abroad courtesy of Smart, too, and I loved loved loved it! Oh, and towards the end of the year, my good friend Guia joined me at Smart.. quite literally, as she really joined me in my cubicle. Hehehe. It's all good though. In a place like Smart, you need as many friends as you can have around you. :)

2. On Family Life: Super thankful that everyone in my family was healthy this year, especially my lola. Though she sometimes has bad bouts of high blood pressure and of recurring palpitations, 2006 was a pretty healthy year for us. I must also say that this year saw my parents change their treatment of us from mere kiddos who know nothing about the world to young adults who may not know everything but can be useful in their own ways. I know it's been a big jump, especially for my dad, to shift perspectives on our contribution in this household, and I'm immensely grateful. Our voices are still not equal theirs in this house, but I'm cool with that. That's how it's supposed to be anyway. :P

3. On Love: Still madly and crazily in love with my darling beau, who continues to make me laugh and make me feel like the most special person on earth. He continues to love me with love so powerful it makes me feel like I can do anything and be anything. He continues to believe in me with a faith so strong that I prefer seeing myself through his eyes. He continues to really be my partner in facing and conquering life, and I'm so thankful to have him next to me as 2006 ends and the new year opens. Great love, great life :)

4. On Friends: Gonna bring all my key friendships with me into 2007, no falloffs :) I love love love FILC, and I love love love my Citi-gals. Even if Baby Bay had to move back to Sing, the wonders of technology keep us connected and updated. It's like she never left :) I love love love digdipper and my Uno barkada. As for my best friend, a big tragedy has befallen her brother this year. Thankfully, despite the odds, he continues to persevere in the tough road to recovery. I continue to pray for her and her bro everyday, and try to keep as much touch as possible, especially when she finds herself in moments of weakness or in puddles of self-pity. I love you, Li, keep faith!

5. On Money: Well, same as last year, I still spent more than I should have :P Hehe.. I doubt I have the willpower to change that sometime soon, but I'm still glad because 2006 saw me start to diversify in my choice of savings instruments. Mustered up enough courage to play with the stock market and started to read up more about other financial tools. One thing I really appreciated about my first job in Citibank is that it oriented me about financial jargon, helped me shrug off any last traces of fear regarding banking products and instruments, and enabled me to at least try them out. Hopefully, 2007 will find me at a better place financially. Please. Especially after my first taste of Christmas bonus at Smart (oh, it really makes me love my job tenfold, hundredfold, thousandfold). My financial goal for '07 is better financial management. That means less clothes and shoes and bags.

Conclusion:

Really, 2006 has been a pretty good year, full of blessings and full of love. So I won't bother God na by asking for more. If 2007 turns out as good as 2006, I'll be very happy already. Thank you again, dear Lord, for 2006.

*Oh, guess what, on another note, finally got that Family Computer console and spent the entire afternoon playing Ice Climber, Bomber Man, Adventure Island and Balloon Fight. XBOX 360 definitely cannot hold a candle to this classic invention. I love it!