It started out as a good holiday-- a day to pay tribute to the wonderful woman who gave me life and raised me. Then a few years ago, it started being something else-- a sad day. Then this mildly sad, wistful feeling quickly worsened year after year... It became a day full of bitterness and envy. Then a day of full-on, cry-my-eyeballs-out kind of pain and sometimes even hopelessness. I started hating Mother's Day. It all of a sudden just became this gigantic asshole of a holiday, a torturous day that reminded me of what I sooo wanted but didn't have. It highlighted my innermost pain and my greatest struggle. It was a day I couldn't wait to end. It was like that for 4 years.
Then Griffin happened. Yes, last year was technically mother's day for me too because I was an expectant mom but believe me when I say it's not the same. This year when I have Griffin in my arms (or rather crawling beside me) is the year I truly felt included in Mother's Day. I couldn't help but be emotional. I've come so far and on this one day every year that used to tear my heart apart into many million pieces, I feel like my journey has come full circle and I can really let that dark part of my life go. It's really over. I have conquered my infertility demons.
So imagine my doubled joy to have a remembrance for this chapter in my life. My husband and son gave me this beautiful watch on my first Mother's Day. The first of many to come. The darkness has gone. The light is forever here. I am forever a mother now.
Happy Mother's Day!
