Yesterday, I took the afternoon off from work to take an SHG test, as part of our fertility exams. The objective of the test is to check if I have blocked (partially or completely) fallopian tubes. Blocked tubes hinder fertility because the sperm cannot go up the tubes to meet the egg. From my research, this is one fo the toughest obstacles to get pregnant. So naturally I was nervous going into the doc's office yesterday.
I was also nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I know what the mechanics are from a technical standpoint but didn't know what to expect in terms of having it actually performed on me. Also, I knew there was some cramping to be expected. So big fat NERVES.
The procedure took about 10 minutes and when the catether was inserted, I cried out in pain! WTF! Then the water was slowly injected and the cramps started. What made the whole thing better were the ff:
1. The fact that Dennis was there and I could focus on his face whenever I felt pain
2. Our doctor was so patient and kept on talking, updating me about what he was doing or about to do and what he was seeing on the monitor
3. There were plenty of framed photos of babies in the treatment room. This helped me focus on our goal and remember, through the WTF moments of pain, why I was doing this and why this momentary bouts of pain will be worth it in the end.
And then the results. My tubes were okay! Big fat WHEW this time. The doc said that since the water they inserted stayed inside my uterus and did not spill to the outside portions meant that the tubes directed the water correctly and hence didn't have any problems. He also praised me for my high tolerance for pain, to which Dennis proudly said, "yes doc, veteran na yan dyan!"
The next step now is to do follicle observation, so I have another ultrasound on Friday. We'll do this for 3 months, according to the doc, and then we'll see what happens. Because so far, it seems that we should be able to conceive naturally. Though he did say that given the results so far, and given my history with dysmennorhea, he's a bit inclined to suspect mild endometriosis. From his tone, I didn't feel there was any reason to freak out. And he did seem very optimistic we can get this done soon. I really really hope and pray so.
He then prescribed antibiotics to me to take for the next 3 days to minimize the risk of infection and sent us on our way. We then went home to have dinner. I still felt some pressure on my abdomen and some cramping. But this turned out to be an "ant bite" compared to what happened later on that night.
Starting about 2 hours after the procedure, the cramping I felt was accompanied by spasms in my abdomen and uterine areas. OMG. It was so strange because it felt a bit like dysmennorhea (but obviously I didn't have my period) and it also felt like ulcer. It was so strange! Moving was painful and it was tough to find a position I was least in pain in. I also felt nauseous and at times out of breath. I also started shivering and my teeth would chatter, even if I didn't feel cold at all. Again, really strange.
Dennis stayed next to me the whole time and kept making suggestions on how to make me feel more comfortable. He also suggested I take the pain killers that doc prescribed but I stubbornly insisted I will bear it the natural way. I will really try to stand by my resolution NOT to take any unnecessary pain meds, unless I get to the "exorcism" stage - incidentally, this was a term coined by my youngest brother when he would witness before my bouts with dysmennorhea. He said I looked like I was being exorcized :p
I feel much better now. Though there's still some spasming and cramping, it's really nothing I cannot handle. I'm so grateful to have a husband who takes such good care of me and refuses to leave my side until I felt better. I cannot tell you how comforting it is to have someone so dedicated and devoted to your wellbeing. I know that NOT all husbands act this way but mine does and I'm so thankful for him.
That's pretty much it. That was my journey through SHG. Definitely not something I want to do again. Hehe.
Hope we hit the jackpot soon :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Knowledge is Power
A number of people advised that we should consult a fertility expert if we want to get pregnant right away (or soon). For a while there, I didn't want to, for fear of bad news. At some level, I also felt that going to the doc means that we're giving up on getting this done naturally and conceding. It's hard to explain in detail but essentially I felt then that I just wasn't ready yet for the possible implications and results of going.
Late last year, though, we agreed that it was time to go "scientific" on the matter and find out what's taking us this long. So on the first weekend of January, we went on our first consultation, followed by another consult today. We also did two initial rounds of tests - one for him and one for me - both of which came out okay and normal. One down.
I'm now scheduled for a test called SHG next Tuesday - a test that checks if there are any blockages (or anything wrong, basically) with my fallopian tubes, since my ovaries and uterine wall (?) checked out okay. I'm a bit nervous about that because my preliminary internet research said it might be a bit painful and I should expect cramping. For someone who carries battle scars with dysmennorhea, cramping is still not something I take lightly :s However, since my solemn agreement with myself to divest of all things Ponstan and Advil-related, I will try to do the procedure as medication-free as possible. Cramps na kung cramps.
We also found out other things today that clarified some doubts lingering at the back of our heads. Indeed, knowledge is power. I wouldn't say though that I wish we went to the doc sooner, because I know now that I wasn't ready then to "face my fears". I am now, and I'm thankful to have a partner who is understanding, patient and never ever forces me to do something I'm not comfortable doing. He knows when to push and when to just let me be and hold my hand.
So, next Tuesday it is, doc. Fingers crossed!
Late last year, though, we agreed that it was time to go "scientific" on the matter and find out what's taking us this long. So on the first weekend of January, we went on our first consultation, followed by another consult today. We also did two initial rounds of tests - one for him and one for me - both of which came out okay and normal. One down.
I'm now scheduled for a test called SHG next Tuesday - a test that checks if there are any blockages (or anything wrong, basically) with my fallopian tubes, since my ovaries and uterine wall (?) checked out okay. I'm a bit nervous about that because my preliminary internet research said it might be a bit painful and I should expect cramping. For someone who carries battle scars with dysmennorhea, cramping is still not something I take lightly :s However, since my solemn agreement with myself to divest of all things Ponstan and Advil-related, I will try to do the procedure as medication-free as possible. Cramps na kung cramps.
We also found out other things today that clarified some doubts lingering at the back of our heads. Indeed, knowledge is power. I wouldn't say though that I wish we went to the doc sooner, because I know now that I wasn't ready then to "face my fears". I am now, and I'm thankful to have a partner who is understanding, patient and never ever forces me to do something I'm not comfortable doing. He knows when to push and when to just let me be and hold my hand.
So, next Tuesday it is, doc. Fingers crossed!
Monday, January 16, 2012
thankful for
- having the luxury of waking up at 8:45 and getting up at 9:00 (Haha! I lounge for about 15 minutes before getting up. I check in on my Twitter and FB accounts first. Haha!) It's the bomb, I tell you. The precious time you save by not taking a car to work and by not needing to wake up earlier is.... priceless.
- upcoming trips to HK and Bangkok. We plan to do an "un-Hongkong" trip, meaning a trip that's not about the city side of HK and not about shopping. Haha! I told Dennis that I've been to HK more times than I can count but I've actually never done the touristy thing and have never ever gone to see Ngong Ping or the giant Buddha. So, we're doing that this time :) And then, it's gonna be Dennis' first time in BKK so I hope to be able to plan a good itinerary for that too, so he has a good impression and will take me back there. Haha! Speaking of BKK, I'm also grateful to our parents for giving us the miles needed to claim biz-class tickets for this trip, and on Holy Week dates too! Yay!
- last stretch of my schoolwork which involves getting the most coveted signature of approval to proceed to defense... and actually doing the defense sometime late Feb.
Thank you, thank you, 2012 :)
- upcoming trips to HK and Bangkok. We plan to do an "un-Hongkong" trip, meaning a trip that's not about the city side of HK and not about shopping. Haha! I told Dennis that I've been to HK more times than I can count but I've actually never done the touristy thing and have never ever gone to see Ngong Ping or the giant Buddha. So, we're doing that this time :) And then, it's gonna be Dennis' first time in BKK so I hope to be able to plan a good itinerary for that too, so he has a good impression and will take me back there. Haha! Speaking of BKK, I'm also grateful to our parents for giving us the miles needed to claim biz-class tickets for this trip, and on Holy Week dates too! Yay!
- last stretch of my schoolwork which involves getting the most coveted signature of approval to proceed to defense... and actually doing the defense sometime late Feb.
Thank you, thank you, 2012 :)
Friday, January 06, 2012
love for country
This seems to be an appropriate topic today, since the DOT unveiled their new slogan for tourism.
Sometimes I wonder if I really, honestly, truly, sincerely, whole-heartedly love the Philippines. If all my family members and friends move to, say, Australia, and hence I move too, will I still miss Pinas? Will I still feel like I'm not "home", when I suspect my definition of the Philippines being home is only because the people to whom my heart belongs live here (whether by choice or otherwise)?
Something to think about. Because I notice that when thinking about what I love about the Philippines, the answers I mostly come up with have to do with the people I love. There are barely other reasons. Unlike people from other countries like my cousins from Canada who have country-loving reasons beyond their families. They love their systems, they love their way of life, etc...
So, you, do you really love the Philippines? Love it enough to still stay?
And don't say, you cannot separate the Philippines from your loved ones because that just doesn't make any sense.(Haha! Defensive?!) Ask yourself the question I posed above. :)
Sometimes I wonder if I really, honestly, truly, sincerely, whole-heartedly love the Philippines. If all my family members and friends move to, say, Australia, and hence I move too, will I still miss Pinas? Will I still feel like I'm not "home", when I suspect my definition of the Philippines being home is only because the people to whom my heart belongs live here (whether by choice or otherwise)?
Something to think about. Because I notice that when thinking about what I love about the Philippines, the answers I mostly come up with have to do with the people I love. There are barely other reasons. Unlike people from other countries like my cousins from Canada who have country-loving reasons beyond their families. They love their systems, they love their way of life, etc...
So, you, do you really love the Philippines? Love it enough to still stay?
And don't say, you cannot separate the Philippines from your loved ones because that just doesn't make any sense.(Haha! Defensive?!) Ask yourself the question I posed above. :)
Monday, January 02, 2012
Thankfulness post for the year that was...
It's 2012! Happy New Year! In line with the new theme I started last year, here's the grand "thank you" list for 2011:
THANK YOU FOR...
- the best husband in the whole wide world. I know everyone probably says this about the man in their lives, but I would seriously enter Dennis in any best-husband competition out there. He is the best partner one can ever hope for.
- the best family, both new and old. I'm referring to my Co family (old) and Chan family (new). This year is when I truly got to know this new family I joined and I'm thankful for the many lessons they taught me and the love with which they showered me all year long.
- the many opportunities that come my way. I've received so many career and academic opportunities this year and I'm so grateful. I hope that 2012 will be the year I can move on from this company, not because of any bitter reason but because I honestly feel that I've learned as much as I possibly can in this place. I feel it's time to move on.
- the financial blessings of 2011. The past year also saw us able to expand our nest egg and be on a much stronger footing in terms of our finances. We were able to pay down our loan a bit and were able to save, while still being able to... (next point)
- the travel opportunities and the luxuries we were able to partake in in 2011. This year also saw us spending the most we've ever spent (so far in our short married life) in travel. Firstly, we went to Europe together for the first time. We also spent Atty's birthday in Macau and spent for most of the expenses. We also went to Bora for the first time, almost on impulse, and spent the holiday vacation in Anvaya, where again, we were "taya" (and were happy to be too!). A huge THANK YOU for these adventures. We were also able to indulge in some luxuries this year, with the new gadgets and the shopping exploits. We also gifted his brother with a very generous wedding gift. Thank you.
- THE thesis. Thank you for giving me the fortitude and strength to go through the hellish 14 weeks of Strama, culminating in the submission of the longest piece of Word document I've ever written in my entire life. No matter the grading outcome (though I'm also grateful for the high grade I got for this class), I'm proud of what I've accomplished.
- the chance to teach again. As I've said in more times than once in this blog, teaching is indeed a calling of mine. It doesn't pay a lot but it is rewarding in so much more meaningful ways. And I'm grateful for the chance to teach again and for having an easy bunch of kids to educate.
2011 did have its lows, mind you. Especially towards the end when the frustration and sadness I felt over not getting the one gift I truly wanted. But my husband saw me through this dark period, and I do believe we emerged a stronger couple after it. I know it probably doesn't make a dent in terms of the more serious trials that other couples have gone through, but this challenge did give me a good look at the metal of the man I married - the kind of inner strength and wisdom he has, on top of the unwavering love and devotion I'm eternally grateful for. So even if 2011 left one wish ungranted, I am still grateful for all the blessings it brought. And it makes me even more excited and hopeful for 2012.
Happy New Year!
THANK YOU FOR...
- the best husband in the whole wide world. I know everyone probably says this about the man in their lives, but I would seriously enter Dennis in any best-husband competition out there. He is the best partner one can ever hope for.
- the best family, both new and old. I'm referring to my Co family (old) and Chan family (new). This year is when I truly got to know this new family I joined and I'm thankful for the many lessons they taught me and the love with which they showered me all year long.
- the many opportunities that come my way. I've received so many career and academic opportunities this year and I'm so grateful. I hope that 2012 will be the year I can move on from this company, not because of any bitter reason but because I honestly feel that I've learned as much as I possibly can in this place. I feel it's time to move on.
- the financial blessings of 2011. The past year also saw us able to expand our nest egg and be on a much stronger footing in terms of our finances. We were able to pay down our loan a bit and were able to save, while still being able to... (next point)
- the travel opportunities and the luxuries we were able to partake in in 2011. This year also saw us spending the most we've ever spent (so far in our short married life) in travel. Firstly, we went to Europe together for the first time. We also spent Atty's birthday in Macau and spent for most of the expenses. We also went to Bora for the first time, almost on impulse, and spent the holiday vacation in Anvaya, where again, we were "taya" (and were happy to be too!). A huge THANK YOU for these adventures. We were also able to indulge in some luxuries this year, with the new gadgets and the shopping exploits. We also gifted his brother with a very generous wedding gift. Thank you.
- THE thesis. Thank you for giving me the fortitude and strength to go through the hellish 14 weeks of Strama, culminating in the submission of the longest piece of Word document I've ever written in my entire life. No matter the grading outcome (though I'm also grateful for the high grade I got for this class), I'm proud of what I've accomplished.
- the chance to teach again. As I've said in more times than once in this blog, teaching is indeed a calling of mine. It doesn't pay a lot but it is rewarding in so much more meaningful ways. And I'm grateful for the chance to teach again and for having an easy bunch of kids to educate.
2011 did have its lows, mind you. Especially towards the end when the frustration and sadness I felt over not getting the one gift I truly wanted. But my husband saw me through this dark period, and I do believe we emerged a stronger couple after it. I know it probably doesn't make a dent in terms of the more serious trials that other couples have gone through, but this challenge did give me a good look at the metal of the man I married - the kind of inner strength and wisdom he has, on top of the unwavering love and devotion I'm eternally grateful for. So even if 2011 left one wish ungranted, I am still grateful for all the blessings it brought. And it makes me even more excited and hopeful for 2012.
Happy New Year!
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