Goodbye 2010! Hello 2011! :)

As this fantastic year comes to a close, I look back at all the milestones that made it super special and one-of-a-kind. Not only did I marry the love of my life, I also went through so many transitions and saw a couple of friends do the same. A lot of blessings marked this year, and for that, I am truly grateful. I know that 2010 was not always about positive things - there were tragedies too like the hostage crisis - but at least for my personal life, it was nothing short of perfect. Thank you to God and to the universe for gifting me with the glorious year that is 2010. And a big hello to 2011! Here's to a more love-filled, blessing-full and happy year ahead, dotted with many travels and many new experiences :)

the award goes to.....

Today, I was hit with a thought. Maybe everyone feels this way about their husbands, but if there was ever a BEST HUSBAND contest or search, I'll enter mine in a heartbeat. I'd challenge anyone else's hubby to prove themselves more devoted, more understanding, more thoughtful, more selfless, more emotionally mature and more pure-hearted than my husband. I love love love love love this man to bits, and even then, even as I strive to love him in deeper, richer ways than I did yesterday, he always seems to do it better. I don't know how else to express it- just that I definitely lucked out and got the best husband anyone can ever dream of :D

And with that, Merry Christmas to one and all! Hahaha! And most important of all, Merry Christmas to the best Christmas gift I have gotten and will ever hope to get in the years to come. You are the biggest blessing in my life.

change upon change

Had dinner the other night with a friend who's recently married (about 6 weeks married) and who is also newly pregnant (9 weeks pregnant) - Yeah, do the math ;) - Anyway, she was just telling me how overwhelmed she feels, having only tied the knot and gone on her honeymoon. She hasn't even had the time to feel married yet, and now there's a new adjustment to tackle - one that had its own clock and cannot be ignored. While she's ecstatic over the baby and being a mom, a part of her cannot help but feel that things are moving way too fast and wishes she can pause time to be able to have the chance to enjoy each new change, before the next change came along. She and her husband haven't even found the time yet to move into their new place, and they're currently staying at her folks' place, because she doesn't feel very well during the day while he's at work so he didn't want her to be all alone in their new townhouse. So again, no time to feel totally and truly married. And now, there's a bun in the oven.

I totally understood this point of view and immediately felt grateful to have had this time with Dennis to feel truly married. As I told some girlfriends this afternoon, there's a slight chance we may end the year 2010 with another piece of news, and if it does happen, I'm okay with it since we've had these 3 months of marital bliss. I can't imagine not having had any time to go through this transition in to being a wife, and be able to only focus on that transition and relish it.

Speaking of which, can I just say, how annoying I find it when people try to "scare" me into having a child already, by quoting other people's experiences and difficulties in conceiving. Believe me, my sympathies are totally with these people. I can only imagine the disappointment over not getting something you truly truly want, or worse, the heartbreak over finding out you're physically unable to give your partner a child. I do not wish it on my worst enemy, and pray that neither me or anyone close to me would have to go through such an ordeal... But please, don't use these as scare tactics or worse, say things like "you're making a mistake and you don't even know it" because they do not help anyone at all. None of these comments are ever solicited, and for that, I now pledge never ever to comment on someone's childless marriage. It can only be either of two reasons: the couple doesn't feel ready to have a child or they are unable to, despite the desire and intention to have one. Either way, it's not a topic for public consumption and it's definitely something to bring up in casual conversation. If it's volunteered, then that's a different case. I just feel it's insensitive and maybe now that we've been married for 3 months, I've noticed the increase in such comments and questions. And strangely, they all come from people I barely even know. Geez.

Ok, let's end this with a positive note. It's 16 days to go before Christmas- my first Christmas with Dennis as his wife- and I can't wait to spend the holidays! I'm on break starting 21 and am now thinking of ways to fill in this time, as Dennis still has work. I plan to cook and/or bake, finish up our holiday shopping, deliver our gifts and maybe plan for our France trip :) I've already shortlisted some hotels, and need to put together our VISA requirements. Exciting!!! ;p

WE'RE ALL MARRIED!

FILC is now composed of 4 "misis"-es :) What a cool way to cap off 2010 :)

PARIS!

We're headed to Paris in April of next year! Woooohoooo!!!

Thanks to Air Asia, we're flying there from KL at a super low price, and during Holy Week pa! I can't believe our luck! I loooove low-cost airlines! More money for hotel & accomodations :)

I especially love this trip because we've been hoping to be able to take a long trip somewhere far, like Europe or NYC, before Q3 of next year, which is when we plan to start getting pregnant. BUT we also don't want to spend too much, keeping in mind our other responsibilities.

So this chance couldn't possibly have come at a better time, at a better price or for a better place! What better city to visit than Paris, to "cap off" the time in our marriage when it's just the 2 of us? :) Perfection! I LOVE IT!

well-maid

This is what happens when you employ someone whom you need more than she needs you. The househelp we have now used to work for my mom when I was still in high school and college - she left us about 4 years ago to get married and get pregnant. She now has a 1.5 year old kid, whom she and her husband had to ship off to Davao so that she can come and work for us. My and my mom's spiel to her to convince her to come under my employ is that she will be able to save money for her son's future education. We reminded her that the work involved in being our maid is not that big - our condo barely needs an hour's worth of cleaning per day, and she and her husband will still be able to see each other every weekend (yes, I let her go home every Saturday morning and have her back by Monday morning the following week).

It took some discussion for her and her husband to finally agree to this arrangement. They had to take their son to Davao to leave him with his parents, and then she finally started with us about 3 weeks ago.

This morning, she tearfully told me that her mother-in-law reported that her son has been having a hard time sleeping at night, and even has on-and-off fever, presumably from missing his mother. He would cry out at odd hours at night: "mama!" Her husband is also facing some changes at work, and after some thought, might end up earning even less from his current job. Hence, they're now entertaining the idea of just going home to Davao and settling there. Either that or they bring their kid back to Manila and just find some other work here that will enable them to be together as a family.

As much as I feel for her, especially since her baby is still so young and she's a first-time mom, I also can't help but be a little selfish in this instance. I know I don't need a full-time maid, and can even manage with a stay-out, but I need someone I can trust.. someone I can leave my home with during the day and trust that nothing will go missing. And that's the part that's tough to find.

Oh well. We ended our talk with me telling her to discuss December plans with her husband this weekend. I ended up allowing her a week off in December too - told her to pick between the week of Christmas or the week of New Year's. I hadn't run this through my husband yet, but I figure at her current state, I had to make a concession to allow her to see her baby. I also told her that I can allow her another week off in April when her baby turns 2.

Any tips? :s

8 weeks to go...

until this year is over! I can't believe how fast time flew by this year, more than any other year (that I've been alive, that is :P )

We've also been married for 7 weeks now (which reminds me, I need to follow up Pat Dy on our wedding photos), and I must say, it's been quite a happy ride. I'm just allowing myself these next 8 weeks to acclimatize and get used to being a wife, but as early as now, I'll lay out my goals for next year. I've put the key words in highlight, just for emphasis. Hehe... here goes:

1. Learn to cook. Not just heat things up in the oven.
2. Seriously keep track of our expenses (I've stopped monitoring since the latter part of the wedding planning process since the numbers kept increasing and it was getting quite depressing) and strive to maintain a healthy savings rate.
3. Work towards my promotion to Senior Manager. I know this may not entirely be within my control, but I want to make the effort anyhow. This way, even if I don't get it, no regrets. I'm still happy with my company and my job, but we need to move forward, not stay still :)
4. Go back to teaching and finish up the remaining 3 terms for my MBA degree.
5. Get preggers (Q3 2011 onwards!)

8 weeks to go til 2010 is history, but I figure for the above tall orders, I need these 8 weeks to ready myself :) I CAN DO THIS!

The Return of the Yoga

So, I have even more reasons now to go back to yoga, principally to ready my body for a child-bearing future ;) The trick now is to muster enough effort to jumpstart a yoga pattern all over again, and STAY ON IT. The trouble with me and fitness is the consistency - I've tried going to the gym and doing yoga, but the problem for me is keeping it up. Hopefully this time it'll stick. I do love the practice, it's just that sometimes lethargy and laziness get the better of me.

But now I have more reasons. So hopefully the return of the yoga doesn't involve stopping at a later date. Cross your fingers!! ;P

Back to regular programming...

OK, so our two weeks worth of honeymooning is over and we're now back to regular life. I must say that while the actual trips that make up the "honeymoon" are over, we're still at the honeymoon stage, and I really really like it. Wish there's a way I can extend it over months and months and months to go. I love the excitement I feel whenever I get back to our condo after work, hoping to see Dennis already there or getting excited over setting the table and heating up our dinner, so that when he does step into the condo, warm dinner is there to greet him. I'm so amazed at the many things I'm discovering about him now that we live together - small things that seem insignificant in the overall picture of life but are amazingly adorable nonetheless (at least for me, the woman who swore to love him through thick and thin).

Many people have asked me if (1) I'm pregnant or (2) I have found things about him that annoy me now that we live together. The first question is often asked by people most remotely close to me, so usually it doesn't merit an honest answer. But if you do wanna know the real score, nope, we're not yet pregnant because we're making sure to follow our plan. We'd like to get pregnant no sooner than Q3 next year, in time for 2012 - which is both a dragon year and the year I'm done with my MBA.

As for the second item, I find this quite funny everytime someone asks me. If forced to answer, I'd attribute the one and only annoying "discovery" to his snoring. The first few nights of this marriage were all about sleeplessness to me, because it was tough getting used to this constant stream of noise next to me, when I've been used to a quiet room all my life. It wasn't that bad- mind you- but again, if forced to answer, I would say it's that. Apart from the snoring, nothing else has grated on my nerves, at least not yet. Let's not discount any possibility of that happening when the HM phase is over. Hahaha!

And now back to my original point, we're back to real life. Back to being just a regular husband and wife, not anymore googly-eyed honeymooners greeted by the hotel concierge nightly or congratulated by the front-desk staff. We're settling into a routine of our own and having our nightly rituals of watching teleseryes (for me), getting massages, playing family computer or having movie nights. I must say, marriage is an adjustment, but it's a fun one, filled with new experiences and discoveries. Plus, the newly-acquired independence is very liberating, albeit a bit scary. Proven by our first night back from HM Phase 1 in Singapore when Dennis pulled something in his back, woke up in the middle of night almost crying with pain, and I had to bring him to the ER of Makati Med. I performed quite well, if I may say so myself, but having to be in full charge of someone, without the constant help and guidance of mothers, is quite daunting. I hope I learn fast, and get the hang of things soon enough :) Or else, poor husband :p

That's it for now. Can't believe I'm now a "misis". Whoever says married life w/o kids feels like bahay-bahayan is either underestimating the fun-ness of married life or has a boring husband.

Haha!

MARRIED!!!

I love it! I highly recommend being married :) I love love love love love it! :) We've never spent this much time together, yet it doesn't seem to be enough :)

last single weekend :)

It's my last weekend at home (at least when I can still call it my one and only home), and my last weekend as a single person. Quite happy too that Noynoy made it an official holiday, so the weekend lasts a little bit longer :) I guess most girls who get married go through this period of sentimentality too. I realize I will no longer have a room all to myself now, and I will definitely miss this room I grew up in. Last night, I was fixing my desk and found so many old cards and letters - I just got sentimental over everything that went down in this room- all the sleepovers with friends, the nights spent up studying or watching tv or just chatting away at the landline. While I am excited over the idea of starting a new life together with Atty, I also can't help but feel wistful over the life I'm leaving behind. It's been a good 27-something years indeed :) I thank God and my family for it :)

17 days to go!

And the list of small things just keep on piling up.

FIGHT! :)

17 days to go til I become Mrs. Chan! :)

frenemies

Is it normal to have a friend rub you the wrong way or get on your nerves so many times over a period of a few days?

Hehehe.

A love entry for my room

OK, three weeks to go til the big day! I realized a few days ago that one of the biggest things I'll miss after I get married is my room. I think it's the best symbol for my single life - it bore witness to those late-nights of studying for classes, movie marathons and hours and hours on the phone with Dennis. It houses all of my (precious and not-so-precious) possessions, and things that I have to show for my almost 7 years of working. It's my "safe place" for the past 27 years of my life, and it's where I go to unwind and relax and just "be" after a long day. I'll miss the routine I have every morning after waking up and every night before going to bed. I'll miss the silence and the occasional noise created when one of my brothers or parents burst into the room with some piece of news or kuwento to share. I'll miss all those times I had this room all to myself, because 24 days from today, I won't have a room all to myself anymore.

If I could just hug my room, I would. :p Hehehe.

Home Stretch!!!

I know we've been engaged for more than a year, but it's like I blinked and suddenly, we're one month away from the BIG DAY! OMG!

Glad to report though that most of our action items have been accomplished already:
- Condo just needs to have furniture delivered by Sept 8 and then we're complete.
- All big items in the wedding preps are done. Invites are also given out already. Just need to :
(1) Create and finalize seating chart (2) Print misalettes & menu cards (3) Have final fitting (4) Meet Li and Karen when they come home and go to fittings with them (5) Buy bible (haha I almost forgot about this item)

- Dowry stuff is more or less ready. Just needs to be wrapped.

I'm pretty proud of myself. Definitely NO 3-week panic.

Can't wait for 9/19! :)

Project Home Wrap-up!

Glad to report that Project Home is now 99% done! Save for : (1) delivery of maid's room bed and cabinet ; (2) replacement of insect screen of guest room ; (3) overall general cleaning of the condo, we are done! Yahooooo!!!! It's such a great feeling and an overwhelming sense of accomplishment - to know what we started with and see how far we've come! I also learned so many lessons along the way, which made for good practice for the time in the future when we'll build our house.

1. Cheap is good but ain't always the best way to go, especially with people : We've been blessed with a good contractor- someone who's honest, straightforward and very easy to talk to. She not only takes the time to explain details to me, she also makes it a point that we work within the budget we have yet still get the best options available. She also has "malasakit" which is 100% important when you're doing anything construction-related. Since we're not experts in this field, having a contractor that genuinely wants your place to be as good as it can be is probably the most critical factor.

2. I am proud to say that I know so much more about construction that I did coming into this project. I now know how waterproofing works, what kind of tiles work best, how bathroom fixtures are installed, how lighting should be distributed, etc. We also learned the hard way that there are many possible materials to use for furniture and not all are of good-quality, even if they may appear to be so. Lessons learned.

3. You can't go wrong with classic. If in doubt, go for simpler or plainer designs. You won't regret it. Just like with fashion, I guess. Coz you have to live with your place every day, all day, so make sure you won't get sick of that design or that color scheme :)

That's it for now. I'm so happy with how Project Home turned out. And let me take this chance to say a huge THANK YOU to You Up There for showering us with the means to put together this project and make it happen. I'm also so proud of us for having pulled this off on our own. We did have a bit of help here and there from our parents but the bulk of it is off of our blood, sweat and tears, and while we're coming out of this definitely poorer (and with credit breathing down our backs), I'm so proud of this home that we can proudly call ours. OURS. You and me.

Hope I can post pics sometime. Let's see, where's my camera??? :p

it's really happening!!!

Holy crap, the invites are here, and my first reaction: OMG the wedding is really happening!!! :)

Hahaha! I know it may sound weird, but it was unexpectedly one of my biggest kilig moments throughout this planning process. Apart from the dress fittings, this is one of those rare times when the wedding seemed so "real". The other stuff just seems like normal planning moments for something "in the future" or "far off".. The invites arriving today in two huge-ass boxes just made it solidly real.

It's really happening! As Dennis frequently says, I can't wait to get married. To you. :)

tradition shmadition....

Most days, I love my culture and all its richness, but today is not one of them. I was just informed that, in order to maximize and preserve the "good luck" that we'll receive as a newly married couple, after the wedding, I am NOT to wear black AT ALL for a significant period. Like six months.

WHAT?!

D ko gets.

Hay.

Realization

I had an epiphany today- It's usual perception that the toughest part of the marriage vows to adhere to is one of these three: (1) "for better or for worse" - because life does have its healthy (and sometimes unhealthy) share of difficulties, and sometimes it's far too tempting to walk out and go ; (2) "for richer or for poorer" - more or less same reasons as (1) ; (3) the fidelity clause - also self-explanatory

I realized today another part of the marriage vows that may not be as much of a deal-breaker as the first three I mentioned, nor does it seem to be that big of a deal because it sounds so mundane and a bit obvious. But I think it's the one part in the marriage bond that will probably be challenged the most often and hence deserves attention too. While it may not be devastating in huge, earth-shattering, marriage-threatening ways, I think it's just as difficult to overcome. Major loads of maturity are needed, if you want to stay sane. And stay married.

This such part is where you vow to love the ones that he loves, on the day you agree to become his wife and swear in front of God and all your loved ones that you will be together forever and ever. It's a promise that can easily escape your lips, again because it sounds so obvious and hence so easy (oh how naive you are, dear bride!). After all, his family is good to you and they approve of your marriage. He loves them, and hence how hard could it be to love them too?

Suffice it to say that I've had a fair look at the challenges that can rock this particular corner of the matrinomial vow. It's not as easy, in fact it's probably one of the biggest and hardest adjustments to make. You can bounce back from a fight with your own mother, because she gave you life and can forgive you for anything and everything. Someone else's mother though, even if she happens to be your husband's mother, is an entirely different story. Whether you annoy her or she annoys you, the loser in the battle ends up being your husband. It's rarely about who's right and who's wrong, mind you. Almost all of the time, it's about two different upbringings, two different queens and two different emotional states. So declaring a clear winner in such battles is rather gray. But what's crystal clear is the suffering husband in the middle.

So, I lectured myself today on this particular issue and told myself that, for as long as the matter at hand is not that of life and death, or anything concerning children, values, religion, and deeply personal parts of our lives, I will let these "difficulties" roll off my back and focus on what's critically important - that I have a peaceful relationship with my in-laws and that my (soon-to-be) husband can sleep soundly at night. In Tagalog, kung hindi ko naman ikamamatay yung ipinaglalaban ko, wag nalang ilaban. Choose your battles carefully, because there are battles you need to lose, so you will win the war. And mind you, by "war", I honestly don't refer to my mother in law. Hahaha!

Another point I'd like to make: I believe in karma. I know that my family, with all their virtues, is far from perfect and in the future, two daughters-in-law would also have to "pakisama" with them. I would hope and wish that these two girls would also extend to my family a rich amount of patience, understanding and love. Because I'll be leaving my family behind soon. I'd want these two girls to care for them as if they were their own blood and flesh. To do that, I'd have to "plant" seeds of karma now. How can I expect from others what I cannot ask of myself?

Lastly, at the end of the day, I love him. And part of that love is loving those he loves. Maybe at the start, I'm loving them because he loves them. But hopefully, as we go through life together as family, I'll grow to love them without needing any other reason.

:)

iffy

If you didn't buy the place and didn't spend much on its renovation and furnishing, would you feel it's okay to be the first one to spend the night there and use the facilities, appliances and furniture?

I'm so iffy about this whole thing, but I'm just trying to be patient, for fear of being OA and being perceived as "territorial" or "selfish". But truly, I find the whole idea very strange and kind of offensive. Maybe they feel it's their son's place too, ergo they have as much right as him to spend the night. I really don't know. I don't understand this kind of logic, so I guess I really shouldn't see it from their point of view.

Ugh.