growing up at the speed of light

The past week was composed of the following: one baby shower, one bridal shower, one baptism and one hecka shopping trip hunting down gifts for the three events mentioned above. I can't believe how fast life is going for these friends of mine. On top of these three, I have three more who are getting married in the next 12 months, and one who's seriously considering/discussing the prospect with her significant other, and two who're worrying about the feasibility of their ever-getting-hitched before 2008.

As I said, life is speeding by really fast. Looking at people in my age range taking the plunge of married life and taking the even deeper plunge of babyhood, I can't help but feel totally unready. I'm not mature enough to even qualify as a wife, much less a mommy. I have things I have yet to achieve, milestones I have yet to land, before I can even attempt to think about the long-term. I know I've found the man I want to be with forever, but I just can't see even a vague timeline in my head. I know it's easy to claim a date or a year to make that big jump, but I don't know how I'm gonna get there. Much like any big project, there are mini-projects to accomplish in the short and middle term, all of which I doubt my capacity and ability to tackle on. It's easy to say "I'll be married by this time" or "I'll start a family by this time", but how does one ever know if she's ready? Being "married" is not just a label; it's a reality. And it's a touch-move. Once you've made it, you've gotta live it. Don't like it much? Suck it up. There's no replay and rewind with this one. I'd hate to wake up one day and think "what the f*ck did I get myself into?"

There's no hurry, I know. But part of me thinks these things must already be considered, lest I get sidetracked completely and lose sight of the end-goal, daunting as it may seem right now. I do want to be married; I do want to have kids. That much I know. When and how exactly I'm gonna get there are TBA.

Hay, I don't know! Bahala na!