worrywart

Two of my biggest flaws are over-obsessing and pessimism. These two weaknesses definitely take a series of long, hard stabs at me when life presents moments of uncertainty. Add another character flaw of being a control freak and you'll understand the dark clouds that I let overwhelm me sometimes. I hate feeling out of control and I absolutely hate feeling like I've lost footing or I get caught unprepared.

But I know that I need to let go sometimes and have a bit more faith. Faith that things will always find a way to resolve themselves. I need to fully believe that being responsible doesn't equate to being perfect. That I will not be able to foresee everything and prepare for everything. So being taken by surprise sometimes should be allowed and forgiven. I can be harshest and hardest on myself, and I'm not proud of that.

I don't know what the point of this entry is, except I realize that now that I'm about to embark on the next chapter in life known as full-fledged adulthood, I need to at least try to shed off these layers of pessimism and need for control. It's not healthy. It may be impossible to shut off a habit that's 27 years in the making, but for the sake of my future husband, my future children and my sanity, I need to try.

If only there was a self-help book on this. Or a 10-step checklist.

Or hmm... maybe yoga can help me. One of the benefits of yoga is being able to calm oneself down and take the weight of the world off your shoulders. I'll try.