Bleh!!!!!

This week has been horrible so far (it's only Tuesday, take note). I feel SUPER "bleh" about work. I don't even think my face manages to hide the sentiment well anymore. I sometimes catch myself carrying such a dispassionate face, even around my boss. I don't know what it is about this week, but so far its two days have been nothing but full of this horrible feeling of "bleh".

I feel like much of my work now is so mechanical, I can do it with my eyes closed. What's worse is the feeling of not giving a rat's ass about what I'm doing. Which is even more worrisome for me. I want to care about what I do. I want to feel that emotional connection with my work. And feeling the total opposite is enough to send me into a panic attack... or subdue me to deep reflection mode.

Also quite timely are all these calls from headhunters. To be honest, I've been fending off calls and invitations to interviews for the past couple of months. Getting ultra-prepared for the next phase in our married life, I kept turning calls down and saying I'd rather stay where I am right now, to give way to the entrance of a "little one". After all, who wants to deal with a new employer, new colleagues, new culture and new office, when you are adjusting to being a first-time mother? Anyhoo, recently, I've decided to be open again to these outside opportunities, lest this restlessness kill whatever ounce of career-drive I still have. (In fact, someone mentioned to me recently the concept of "professional plateau"- that stage in your career where you're perfectly okay if your current state becomes your career's ending destination and you just want to work for the pay and go home at 5:30pm,, not having to stretch and "prove anything more). I do not feel like I've reached that stage yet, so maybe I'm doing myself (and maybe even my yet-to-be-conceived child) a disservice by just lying back and shelving my career just to make way for anticipated (and prayed for) motherhood.

Today was one such day again, punctuated by a call bringing external opportunities. Maybe it is high time to move. To something different. Something exciting. Something new. While I'm grateful for what I have now (I have a great boss, great people around me, great office-home distance and great renumeration), I'm sure there's nothing wrong with looking at other (external) greenery and see what else is out there.

OK, so, all those words just boiled down to me declaring I'm open to options. If you know me well, you know I think a lot about things before doing them. Hence all the paragraphs above. Thanks for reading! :P