Less than 6 months to go until I turn 30. Some people told me there's no difference compared to the 20s, whereas others warned me that skincare will now take more effort (coz beauty upkeep comes at a higher level of commitment when you go past the 30 mark). Let me share some thoughts I have about this chapter-turning event, at least some musings I've had since I started thinking of how to celebrate this milestone.
1. It is not the same as the 20s.
- I mean, let's be practical. When I was in my 20s, at least the early 20s, I didn't know what the real world was like. I didn't have a clue as to what being a full-fledged adult was like. True, I was never what people would label as irresponsible or, gasp, wild, but still, that kind of innocence is something that is (or should be) a thing of the past when you've hit 30. If you still have it, I would tend to judge you for that. A lack of life experience over 10 years is not something to be proud of. I believe I know myself better now, and that I have a stronger handle on who I am, what I stand for, what I believe in, what I want out of life and what I need to do to get there. I also think I have less dependence on my peers and have more self-mastery.
- There are also responsibilities now, which the 20's didn't really include. Granted, I got married when I was 27 and started a bank loan then. But in terms of being fully responsible for my life, I think there's a marked difference between my 20-something self with my current, on-the-brink-of-30 self. I'm definitely what you would call more "boring" when it comes to spontaneous spending. Of course, there's always going to be the retail therapy sessions here and there (I am still a girl, you know), but there's someone else in my life now to consider when it comes to who I answer to. I am no longer just beholden to myself.
2. It's okay that it's over, because I think I used my time well. Good things come to an end, rightfully so.
- The 20s had its run and fun, and it was a good ride overall. I was able to achieve most of the dreams that I started out with, and I think my 30-year-old self will more or less be in the place that my 20-year-old self hoped it would. For example, I'm glad to have gotten married at 27, having found the love of my life 5 years prior. I'm glad to have a stable home and a good-sized bank account to fall back on. I'm also proud to be able to say I love the career I've set up for myself and that I'm in a good place professionally. I've been able to generate and earn the respect of my colleagues, some so much older than me. I've also seen enough of the world to want to see more of it. I've kept my promises and learned my lessons each time I fell.
- I'm also proud to be a "full person" when I turn 30 in 6 months. I mean this in the following ways:
- I'm proud of the person I've become when I met my husband and took the matrimonial plunge. I am glad to be able to say that I do not depend on him for anything apart from just loving me. I can pay for my own bills and can speak for my own mind. I can stand up for and by myself; I stand by my husband because I choose to, not because I need to.
- Same goes for my parents. I'm so happy that we have such a good relationship and I am viewed by them as an adult worthy of being consulted. You do not understand how big of an honor this is until you meet and get to know my parents, who have one of the highest expectations ever created. I am proud of myself for having earned their respect and admiration. I have their love by virtue of being their child, but being viewed as an equal with my own valid opinions and decisions is purely discretionary on their part. Hence, I treasure this in a way that's different compared to having their love.
- I'm proud of the sister I've become - someone that my brothers seek out for advice and depend on for support. Again, I have their love as a birthright. But the rest is purely a gift from them and a testament to the sister I've become.
- I'm at peace with the person I've become, and I think at the end of the day, that's what matters. I can look at myself in the mirror and can sleep well at night, knowing that I've been as authentic to myself as possible. There's no price in the world that can pay for that.
3. It's only the beginning!
- While 30, to be honest, really sounds like a big number to me, I think the best is yet to come and this is only the beginning. Just thinking of how the next 2/3rds of my life (assuming my life expectancy is in the range of the 80s-90s) is enough to get me excited! So much to do, so much to see, so much to go to and so much love to give and receive!
- I read somewhere that the 20s is when you try to figure out what you want to do with your career. Your 30s is when you get the needed skills and exposure to equip you to achieve the career apex you want. Your 40s is about wealth generation. This is when you'll be at your most productive. Your 50s is when you try to wind down and see what else you want to involve yourself in apart from moneymaking. Your 60s to 70s is when you enjoy the fruits of your labor, hoping to have as minimal regrets as possible. So yes, the 30s is just the beginning of my career! Looking forward to better opportunities.
- Obviously, as this blog has said over and over, I want my 30s to be marked with the births of my children. :) This would be the biggest gift ever.
I'm still thinking of how to celebrate this upcoming decade, but maybe as opposed to just celebrating it as a milestone birthday, I'll also think of it as an opening salvo to the next chapter of my life. I've done well so far, in my humble opinion, and I'm so grateful. Now I can't wait to see how the next part unveils :)
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