Ok, it's official as of tonight. No baby conceived in 2012.
I wasn't as depressed as I thought I would be. There were previous cycles that were much more emotionally tormenting, definitely. The worst so far was the period that arrived at effing Mothers Day, of all goddamn days. The second I am guessing would be the one in October when I came face to face with the reality that it wasn't going to happen before I turned 30. This month's... Well, I did hope, in the same way I would every other cycle. But I guess what's different this time is the sense of control-- that at least, I have some degree of control over our progress in this journey. And I owe this to our doctor. We have both registered very good progress, especially Dennis and his .. Well, swimmers. I'm happy that at least I know we're moving forward. This also makes me hopeful that our baby is on his way. That time may not be now but my heart tells me it will arrive. It's not going to be a question of if. It's going to be a matter of when.
Itaga mo sa bato. I believe.
That's what's different this time.
And though it doesn't make this period pain-free, the hope does make it bearable.
So there you have it, folks. Dragon really isn't my year, that I now know.
So every 12 years, I gotta keep my head low ;)
One other thing: I have the most amazing husband. He is so gentle with me and so understanding -- a great mix of strength and kindness. The antithesis of me. My other half. The only one in this entire world I will ever need. The only one who knows what my heart yearns for, even before my mouth can give off words to express it. The one I know I live and die for.
This is why our baby will surely come along. How can you pass up a daddy like that?
:)
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