Options

Ok, so I opened the year with some thoughts and with it, some lessons. In our annual FILC 'surveys', there's a question on what life lesson you learned during the year concerned. I think I already have my answer for 2015 -- The beauty about having money isn't about the money per se, or the things it can buy. It lies in the options it affords you to consider and allows you to make. Having choices is such a luxury -- one that oftentimes money can buy.

Anyone reading this blog regularly will also know that I am a planner at heart. So as early as now, I am thinking of what to do when the baby arrives. My thought process goes as follows (and these little thoughts may not always harmonize with each other, hehehe):

1. I've waited for this baby for a long time, and leaving him/her to go to work after 2 months seems unjust to the cause I've fought and to the little fighter who clawed and fought his/her way into our lives. I didn't just wait to get pregnant. I waited to have a baby. I feel I owe it to myself, to our little family and to the heavenly beings I flooded and bombarded with my endless pleas and prayers to maximize our little one's littlest months. To do otherwise feels ungrateful.

2. On the other hand, to be a full-time mother costs money (at least forgoes the earning of money). Money that, strictly speaking, we may have in our stashed-away funds, but money that we will miss nonetheless. Should I 'buy' this period of time (in my head, it's a full year as 6 months still doesn't sound enough)? Me being me, I already have a figure in my head for how much this year will cost. Should I do it? Will it be responsible of me (fiscally speaking) to do so?

3. The other thing to consider is the impact to my career in the long run.... which leads me to the next point....

4. By the time the baby arrives, I would have spent 2 years in this media company. I came here to (1) learn something new while (2) affording myself a flexible, non-critical yet substantial role at work to still be able to earn and be productive with my brain and efforts, while pursuing infertility treatment. A big check on both counts, but I also feel the time has come (the mark of which is at 2 years) to end it. I've done what I came here to do. Moving-on is the next logical thing.

5. But of course, move on how? Here is where the options come in:

Option 1: Take a 1-year sabbatical after my maternity leave (subject to approval, of course) and return to Smart by mid-2016.
Upside: I keep my tenure and will be working walking-distance away at a place I have paid my dues in and no longer need to exert too much effort in proving myself. Work is familiar. This option is likely the most palatable to all bosses concerned, including HR, making the sabbatical easier to approve.
Downside: I don't like the current management. I won't be learning anything new. May also have career implications of staying too long in 1 industry/company.

Option 2: Similar as Option 1 except instead of Smart, I look for elsewhere within the Group (that is not media).
Upside: I can leverage on the last 9 years I invested in this group. It also tends to be financially rewarding and at least my last package from Smart can still be honored. Depending on the company, I will learn something new.
Downside: Location may not be favorable to me unless it's PLDT (gulp!) and I doubt my current boss will not feel bad if I choose another 'sister-company' over the one he heads.

Option 3: Take the sabbatical, look for work while on break, and go from there.
Upside: The reverse of the above. And I have a fresh start.
Downside: Pretty tough to find work that's as physically close to my home as Smart is. Plus, there would be backlash in taking a sabbatical only to resign later on.

Option 4: Resign from the onset.
Seems there's no upside. Haha!

If you notice, coming back to my current position is not an option for me. It's not good for my career in the long run. It's also not close to my place, and there's no 'passion' on my end for this industry.

So there. That's where I am right now. I wish money were not an issue at all, so that I can have another option, which is to be a consultant and work part-time indefinitely. But I know that's not fair to my family and as it is, the one year off already carries cost.

Wish me luck! Have about 4 months before I need to give notice. :)