Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Hiccups!
I woke up this morning to a weird sensation. One side of my tummy was moving softly every 1-2 seconds. This went on for about 2-3 minutes, then stopped. I realized midway that Baby Griffin was hiccuping! How adorable! I woke up his sleepyhead daddy so he can feel the little hiccupy movements. Love love love.
That's all I wanted to say. Haha!
That's all I wanted to say. Haha!
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Monday, March 16, 2015
Baby name reveal!!
Because I want to shout it out to the world ---
Our little darling's name is:
Griffin Andrew Chan! :)
Griffin: a mythical creature that's half lion and half eagle. Means noble and brave. Inspiration for Gryffindor. My little fighter's perfect name.
Andrew: just a name his dad thought of that will go well with his first name. Idea came to Daddy as he was brushing his teeth the morning after we found out the gender.
:)
Love.
Updates: Me and the baby
We're on our 25th week by tomorrow. Last week, as scheduled, I did my second doppler, and the results were as follows:
- Because I reverted back to my daily heparin injections, the level of flow for my left uterine artery improved a little bit, though it was still sub-par.
- However, because of the length of time of the blood flow being sub-par, the middle cerebral artery showed slight elevation. The doctor's explanation for this is because the system detected that the blood flow is less than ideal, it automatically tells the arteries to prioritize the brain, hence the middle CEREBRAL artery. Is it just me or anything with the word "cerebral" is just freakout-inducing?
- Anyway, weight-gain wise, the perinatologist doing my exam initially told me that the baby's weight was coming in within normal values. It turns out that he's hitting only the 18th percentile in terms of weight. While this may be normal for most pregnancies, (1) my OB wants him to be over the average in case we need to resort to preterm delivery ; (2) we are aware of the blood flow issue, which means his current estimated weight of 636grams is really not meant to be his size at this time, if it weren't for the blood flow issue. This second point debunks the possibility that this just might be his size or that he may be a small baby, really hitting the smaller percentile. We do know that me and my husband are not particularly small people, plus, the subpar blood flow means the baby would probably weigh a lot more if he had access to more nutrients and oxygen. So it is a bit worrisome but not cause for worry --> something most doctors say to me, which I don't really understand.
Anyway, my immunologist upped my heparin dosage to 50 units per shot, daily, from 35. She also initially prescribed a steroid for me - something I took during the first trimester- that is an immuno-suppressant drug meant to essentially tell my immune system to calm the F down because the baby is NOT an invader. I already bought the pills for 2 weeks as she prescribed, when my OB (whom I saw the day after) said NO. He told me to get these progesterone shots from him every week instead of the steroids. He explained that the shots essentially isolate the immune suppression to just those that affect the baby and leave out the rest of the body. The pills, on the other hand, are like a bazooka explosion of suppressing effect, which means my entire resistance will be down. Because I'm pregnant, getting sick or catching a really bad bug is not a good idea, even with this blood flow issue. So, I followed him as usual, as he seems to be more of a thinking doctor than my immunologist is.
So there we stand, at almost 25 weeks. My next scan will be on April 1, for my 3D ultrasound, and then April 7 for my third doppler which I PRAY SHOWS ALL NORMAL RESULTS.
On the matter of the 3D ultrasound: People usually get 4D ultrasounds, but since the difference between 3 and 4D is just that the latter is in video format, I opted for 3D instead. Also, there are no medical reasons for other people to do it, but in my case, I do need to, because the immune drugs I took at the first trimester carry a risk on the baby to develop a cleft palate. This was a risk I knew about going in, and it was a smaller risk compared to the scarier prospect of my immune system triumphing over the baby, so we went ahead anyway. Since the 3D scan will be able to see the baby's face clearly, assuming he is cooperative and stays still, this would definitely allay my fears. Or inform us of procedures he may need after delivery. I am praying it is the former.
Oh, and it doesn't end there: So far, we've been monitoring the baby and the blood flow issues due to my overly enthusiastic immune system. I've been feeling exhausted lately, sometimes dizzy and lightheaded, and I would also get shortness of breath. I chalked it up to usual pregnancy symptoms as advised by Dr Google and to my asthma. It turns out, when I asked my OB about it, he looked alarmed and asked the nurse to take my BP. My BP then, even after eating a good breakfast and taking the stairs up to the 3rd floor of MMC, was only 90/50. He said this was not good at all, married with the subpar blood flow. My acupuncturist wasn't happy about it either, when I told her Saturday afternoon. She said this was a threat to me, not just the baby. And since the baby was depending on me for blood, then it was something that needed attention right away.
So not only am I supposed to up my calorie intake, I am supposed to take more salt into my system and more 'hypertension-causing' food too. Lechon, here I come!
So, definitely an exciting pregnancy, won't you say?
Last night, my mom saw me injecting my tummy with the 50mg heparin and as a result, she also saw my bruise-laden tummy. One bruise in particular was so unsightly, my mom's face fell and I think she felt sorry for me. But seriously, I do not at all feel bad for myself, despite all these things I need to do to my body to get my baby delivered safely. Nothing else matters, really. No physical pain is too painful to bear. Just that he is safe and healthy. Sometimes, I think the worry and the anxiety is much much worse.
Please pray all goes well !!
- Because I reverted back to my daily heparin injections, the level of flow for my left uterine artery improved a little bit, though it was still sub-par.
- However, because of the length of time of the blood flow being sub-par, the middle cerebral artery showed slight elevation. The doctor's explanation for this is because the system detected that the blood flow is less than ideal, it automatically tells the arteries to prioritize the brain, hence the middle CEREBRAL artery. Is it just me or anything with the word "cerebral" is just freakout-inducing?
- Anyway, weight-gain wise, the perinatologist doing my exam initially told me that the baby's weight was coming in within normal values. It turns out that he's hitting only the 18th percentile in terms of weight. While this may be normal for most pregnancies, (1) my OB wants him to be over the average in case we need to resort to preterm delivery ; (2) we are aware of the blood flow issue, which means his current estimated weight of 636grams is really not meant to be his size at this time, if it weren't for the blood flow issue. This second point debunks the possibility that this just might be his size or that he may be a small baby, really hitting the smaller percentile. We do know that me and my husband are not particularly small people, plus, the subpar blood flow means the baby would probably weigh a lot more if he had access to more nutrients and oxygen. So it is a bit worrisome but not cause for worry --> something most doctors say to me, which I don't really understand.
Anyway, my immunologist upped my heparin dosage to 50 units per shot, daily, from 35. She also initially prescribed a steroid for me - something I took during the first trimester- that is an immuno-suppressant drug meant to essentially tell my immune system to calm the F down because the baby is NOT an invader. I already bought the pills for 2 weeks as she prescribed, when my OB (whom I saw the day after) said NO. He told me to get these progesterone shots from him every week instead of the steroids. He explained that the shots essentially isolate the immune suppression to just those that affect the baby and leave out the rest of the body. The pills, on the other hand, are like a bazooka explosion of suppressing effect, which means my entire resistance will be down. Because I'm pregnant, getting sick or catching a really bad bug is not a good idea, even with this blood flow issue. So, I followed him as usual, as he seems to be more of a thinking doctor than my immunologist is.
So there we stand, at almost 25 weeks. My next scan will be on April 1, for my 3D ultrasound, and then April 7 for my third doppler which I PRAY SHOWS ALL NORMAL RESULTS.
On the matter of the 3D ultrasound: People usually get 4D ultrasounds, but since the difference between 3 and 4D is just that the latter is in video format, I opted for 3D instead. Also, there are no medical reasons for other people to do it, but in my case, I do need to, because the immune drugs I took at the first trimester carry a risk on the baby to develop a cleft palate. This was a risk I knew about going in, and it was a smaller risk compared to the scarier prospect of my immune system triumphing over the baby, so we went ahead anyway. Since the 3D scan will be able to see the baby's face clearly, assuming he is cooperative and stays still, this would definitely allay my fears. Or inform us of procedures he may need after delivery. I am praying it is the former.
Oh, and it doesn't end there: So far, we've been monitoring the baby and the blood flow issues due to my overly enthusiastic immune system. I've been feeling exhausted lately, sometimes dizzy and lightheaded, and I would also get shortness of breath. I chalked it up to usual pregnancy symptoms as advised by Dr Google and to my asthma. It turns out, when I asked my OB about it, he looked alarmed and asked the nurse to take my BP. My BP then, even after eating a good breakfast and taking the stairs up to the 3rd floor of MMC, was only 90/50. He said this was not good at all, married with the subpar blood flow. My acupuncturist wasn't happy about it either, when I told her Saturday afternoon. She said this was a threat to me, not just the baby. And since the baby was depending on me for blood, then it was something that needed attention right away.
So not only am I supposed to up my calorie intake, I am supposed to take more salt into my system and more 'hypertension-causing' food too. Lechon, here I come!
So, definitely an exciting pregnancy, won't you say?
Last night, my mom saw me injecting my tummy with the 50mg heparin and as a result, she also saw my bruise-laden tummy. One bruise in particular was so unsightly, my mom's face fell and I think she felt sorry for me. But seriously, I do not at all feel bad for myself, despite all these things I need to do to my body to get my baby delivered safely. Nothing else matters, really. No physical pain is too painful to bear. Just that he is safe and healthy. Sometimes, I think the worry and the anxiety is much much worse.
Please pray all goes well !!
Tuesday, March 03, 2015
Updates
Baby and I hit 23 weeks today! A week more to go until we're officially 6 months pregnant. Time for some updates:
1. Because of my immune issues, my immunologist asked me to do a doppler velocimetry test at Week 19. It's apparently a test that only a perinatologist (i.e. high-risk pregnancy OB) can perform so St Lukes could only pencil me in on my 21st week. I was a bit anxious about this, as it was a good 2 weeks after the ideal time, but I had no other choice. Anyway, the test is a colored ultrasound that measures the flow of blood from and to the baby. The two uterine arteries supply blood into the umbilical artery, which reaches the baby. The ideal results is normal for all three arteries.
My results showed that while my right uterine artery was doing its job, my left one was supply blood at a sub-par level. This led to the baby coming in a bit underweight (about 453 grams VS the ideal 500 grams at the gestational age he was in). Plus, he is so far coming in at about a week and a half advanced in terms of height. Which makes his being underweight even more concerning. The weight that bones account for is higher than usual, because he's taller.
Of course, this got me worried. On one hand, I was relieved my very cautious OB insisted I still did heparin shots even though my immunologist said I could stop already at 12 weeks. Dr Manahan said he is more comfortable if I at least did every-other-day shots instead of stopping altogether. Back then, I figured, might as well follow his advice, as it's better to have been safe than sorry. Turns out, it's SUCH A GOOD DECISION because I refuse to even consider what could've happened if I did stop. The flow may not have been good at all. As it is, my baby relies more on the right side's flow, it being at 100%.
So what's the next step? My immunologist actually said to keep up my every-other-day heparin shots until my repeat doppler velocimetry on March 10th. I think her approach tends to be on the 'chill' side, because (1) she is the head of PGH-Immunology; hence, I think she carries a 'keep costs at a minimum' mindset ; (2) the majority of her patients are much more complicated cases compared to me, because she usually tells me not to worry because other people have it much harder.
My OB, on the other hand, is really more a doctor with patients that, well, for the lack of a better term, can afford to spend. He also has a belief, which I share, that it's always better to spend more on preventive care now, at the prenatal stage, and it's always more worth it compared to spending later on when the baby is out and we have issues post-natally. I agree wholeheartedly. I know that there are people with more limited means than us, and there are people who have worse immune conditions than me, but no offense, I really only care about myself and my baby as far as this pregnancy is concerned. I want to and will always do the best I can and pick the best possible option for my baby. It's got nothing to do with anyone else.
So, suffice to say, my OB said to disregard my immunologist's instructions and resume daily heparin. This way, the March 10 velocimetry test will be even more useful for us because we'll know if daily heparin gets the job done (rather than evaluate if the every-other-day should really be stopped). If the results are still sub-optimal, then I can up my dosage to twice a day. More blood flow means more nutrients, more oxygen and much better care for my baby. To Dr Manahan, the every-other-day is off the table. Minimum daily is the way to go, at the minimum.
He also told me that since my baby is a bit underweight, I have to eat WAY more than I currently do. I must admit, I have not really been eating significantly more than I did before. I know this is normal for people with normal pregnancies - you are, after all, only supposed to add a few more calories on top of your usual diet. But Dr Manahan wants me to prep (physically and mentally) for a possible preterm delivery. He says if my immune reaction gets worse (and it just might get worse because as the baby grows bigger, the bigger the signal it makes to my immune system that there is a huge invader to my body), at month 7, doctors usually deem it safer for the baby to be out of the womb than remain in it. This means that the bigger I can get my baby at month 7, the better the outcome can be for him. He also already administered the sulfactant shots to me last week -- this is the steroid typically given at month 7 if there is a risk of preterm labor. It hastens the dev't of the lungs - the last organ to develop. He says it's better to give a dose now, then see later on if my baby will benefit from a second round. This way, we give him the best shot possible at having capable lungs even if he meets the world ahead of schedule.
Doesn't this sort of approach just make you feel safer under a doctor's care? I'm really grateful I met this guy and that he's the one taking care of me and my little fighter.
2. We've settled on a name! Love love love it!!!
3. Work is boring. (haha!) But the good news is that the huge bonus that we're looking forward to is confirmed to be arriving to our bank accounts on March 10. Hooray! Such a blessing to receive this year of all years, when I am scheduled to take some months off with no pay. Thank you thank you. I am so so so grateful.
That's about it. Pray for me that my results on March 10 are normal.
:)
1. Because of my immune issues, my immunologist asked me to do a doppler velocimetry test at Week 19. It's apparently a test that only a perinatologist (i.e. high-risk pregnancy OB) can perform so St Lukes could only pencil me in on my 21st week. I was a bit anxious about this, as it was a good 2 weeks after the ideal time, but I had no other choice. Anyway, the test is a colored ultrasound that measures the flow of blood from and to the baby. The two uterine arteries supply blood into the umbilical artery, which reaches the baby. The ideal results is normal for all three arteries.
My results showed that while my right uterine artery was doing its job, my left one was supply blood at a sub-par level. This led to the baby coming in a bit underweight (about 453 grams VS the ideal 500 grams at the gestational age he was in). Plus, he is so far coming in at about a week and a half advanced in terms of height. Which makes his being underweight even more concerning. The weight that bones account for is higher than usual, because he's taller.
Of course, this got me worried. On one hand, I was relieved my very cautious OB insisted I still did heparin shots even though my immunologist said I could stop already at 12 weeks. Dr Manahan said he is more comfortable if I at least did every-other-day shots instead of stopping altogether. Back then, I figured, might as well follow his advice, as it's better to have been safe than sorry. Turns out, it's SUCH A GOOD DECISION because I refuse to even consider what could've happened if I did stop. The flow may not have been good at all. As it is, my baby relies more on the right side's flow, it being at 100%.
So what's the next step? My immunologist actually said to keep up my every-other-day heparin shots until my repeat doppler velocimetry on March 10th. I think her approach tends to be on the 'chill' side, because (1) she is the head of PGH-Immunology; hence, I think she carries a 'keep costs at a minimum' mindset ; (2) the majority of her patients are much more complicated cases compared to me, because she usually tells me not to worry because other people have it much harder.
My OB, on the other hand, is really more a doctor with patients that, well, for the lack of a better term, can afford to spend. He also has a belief, which I share, that it's always better to spend more on preventive care now, at the prenatal stage, and it's always more worth it compared to spending later on when the baby is out and we have issues post-natally. I agree wholeheartedly. I know that there are people with more limited means than us, and there are people who have worse immune conditions than me, but no offense, I really only care about myself and my baby as far as this pregnancy is concerned. I want to and will always do the best I can and pick the best possible option for my baby. It's got nothing to do with anyone else.
So, suffice to say, my OB said to disregard my immunologist's instructions and resume daily heparin. This way, the March 10 velocimetry test will be even more useful for us because we'll know if daily heparin gets the job done (rather than evaluate if the every-other-day should really be stopped). If the results are still sub-optimal, then I can up my dosage to twice a day. More blood flow means more nutrients, more oxygen and much better care for my baby. To Dr Manahan, the every-other-day is off the table. Minimum daily is the way to go, at the minimum.
He also told me that since my baby is a bit underweight, I have to eat WAY more than I currently do. I must admit, I have not really been eating significantly more than I did before. I know this is normal for people with normal pregnancies - you are, after all, only supposed to add a few more calories on top of your usual diet. But Dr Manahan wants me to prep (physically and mentally) for a possible preterm delivery. He says if my immune reaction gets worse (and it just might get worse because as the baby grows bigger, the bigger the signal it makes to my immune system that there is a huge invader to my body), at month 7, doctors usually deem it safer for the baby to be out of the womb than remain in it. This means that the bigger I can get my baby at month 7, the better the outcome can be for him. He also already administered the sulfactant shots to me last week -- this is the steroid typically given at month 7 if there is a risk of preterm labor. It hastens the dev't of the lungs - the last organ to develop. He says it's better to give a dose now, then see later on if my baby will benefit from a second round. This way, we give him the best shot possible at having capable lungs even if he meets the world ahead of schedule.
Doesn't this sort of approach just make you feel safer under a doctor's care? I'm really grateful I met this guy and that he's the one taking care of me and my little fighter.
2. We've settled on a name! Love love love it!!!
3. Work is boring. (haha!) But the good news is that the huge bonus that we're looking forward to is confirmed to be arriving to our bank accounts on March 10. Hooray! Such a blessing to receive this year of all years, when I am scheduled to take some months off with no pay. Thank you thank you. I am so so so grateful.
That's about it. Pray for me that my results on March 10 are normal.
:)
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Problem solved!
Thank you, Buddha!!!!
Just when I was wondering what final decision to make about my plans for 2nd half of this year, it has been made for me!
My boss pulled me in this morning into his office and midway into our conversation, he suddenly brought up my maternity leave and the fact that I'm nearing the 2-year mark here in this office. The convo went like this:
Boss: So, you'll be two years na here by June, which is also when you're due to give birth, right? So you'll be out for 2-3 months depending on whether you're CS or normal delivery... I guess you'll go back to Smart afterwards? That's what's fair to you.
Gladys: Speechless but nods
Boss: So I'll tell them you'll be back by Q4.
Gladys: Actually, I was thinking of extending my leave further.
Boss: Extending? Without pay na yon. So.. until yearend?
Gladys: Yeah
Boss: Okay, so I'll tell Smart HR you'll be back on January 2016. What function do you want?
Gladys: A brand role.
Boss: Okay, I'll make that communication. It has to be told to them earlier, you know, because these things take time and I want to make sure you'll get a good position. So that settles it. Who do you think can take your place here?
Gladys: Mentions a name.
Boss: Yeah, good point. Okay.
Done.
What a huge relief. I didn't have to suffer through a tough, emotional conversation. I didn't even have to utter much, not even a single word about how this is my first baby, my dream come true, etc etc. It was all fixed up for me.
I can't help but attribute it to Buddha- I've been, after all, praying to Him to take care of my career progression from this point forward, considering that the baby will be my top priority. It's like He inception-ed Noel into this line of thinking, in such an effective way that the road ended up being fixed for me all the way.
I am shocked. In a good way. I can't believe all that went down so well. So easily. This pregnancy may have gone through a tough road to get going, but so far, everything else about it and after it has been smooth-sailing. (Knock on wood, pwera usog) Hope that's a sign of everything else to come.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Santo Singkong. I am beyond grateful. Your blessing has never left my side.
Grateful. Happy Chinese New Year!!
Just when I was wondering what final decision to make about my plans for 2nd half of this year, it has been made for me!
My boss pulled me in this morning into his office and midway into our conversation, he suddenly brought up my maternity leave and the fact that I'm nearing the 2-year mark here in this office. The convo went like this:
Boss: So, you'll be two years na here by June, which is also when you're due to give birth, right? So you'll be out for 2-3 months depending on whether you're CS or normal delivery... I guess you'll go back to Smart afterwards? That's what's fair to you.
Gladys: Speechless but nods
Boss: So I'll tell them you'll be back by Q4.
Gladys: Actually, I was thinking of extending my leave further.
Boss: Extending? Without pay na yon. So.. until yearend?
Gladys: Yeah
Boss: Okay, so I'll tell Smart HR you'll be back on January 2016. What function do you want?
Gladys: A brand role.
Boss: Okay, I'll make that communication. It has to be told to them earlier, you know, because these things take time and I want to make sure you'll get a good position. So that settles it. Who do you think can take your place here?
Gladys: Mentions a name.
Boss: Yeah, good point. Okay.
Done.
What a huge relief. I didn't have to suffer through a tough, emotional conversation. I didn't even have to utter much, not even a single word about how this is my first baby, my dream come true, etc etc. It was all fixed up for me.
I can't help but attribute it to Buddha- I've been, after all, praying to Him to take care of my career progression from this point forward, considering that the baby will be my top priority. It's like He inception-ed Noel into this line of thinking, in such an effective way that the road ended up being fixed for me all the way.
I am shocked. In a good way. I can't believe all that went down so well. So easily. This pregnancy may have gone through a tough road to get going, but so far, everything else about it and after it has been smooth-sailing. (Knock on wood, pwera usog) Hope that's a sign of everything else to come.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Santo Singkong. I am beyond grateful. Your blessing has never left my side.
Grateful. Happy Chinese New Year!!
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Quickening and some other thoughts
So, it turned out, a few hours after I wrote my last update, my baby started quickening, aka those first solid movements of the baby in the womb. True enough, it did feel like bubbles, as my doctor described. But unlike the flicks from the previous week, which were so infrequent (like 1-2 times a day only) that sometimes I doubted maybe it was all just a figment of my mind, these are qute frequent, about 7-8 times an hour. I first felt them last Tuesday - right on my 20th week- evening while lying in bed. The first bubble came up, then another one and another one. 4 in quick succession. I was so happily surprised- and the idea of my little one being "really there" became even more real, and I cried tears of joy. I just lay there on the bed, half-laughing and crying with indescribable happiness. Hello there, love! Mommy is here :)
Dennis was in the other room at this time so when he came back a few minutes later, he was shocked to see me crying. I told him to hurry and come over to me, so he can put his hand over the spot where the kicks were. He was able to feel one solid kick, and I knew he felt the same.
He hasn't been able to catch more since then though. I know he feels a bit left out hehe, but I tell him not to worry. He will feel more as time goes by.
Anyway, today, I found myself thinking again about cord blood banking. Dennis and I initially decided to forego it, mostly because according to my research, there's little chance of needing it and even if the need arises, there's a limitation to what it can do. The quantity, for starters, can only save a child, not a full adult or even some teens. Not all diseases can also use it. If you match that with the cost, it seems like a lot of marketing and not much insurance.
But there's that nagging guilt-trip of a line "what if it CAN save your baby?"
Grrr. Marketing. I hate you.
Hmm what else... I am happily into researching various topics related to the baby, like comparing breast pumps and looking at crib VS cosleeper VS packNplays. It's a complicated world out there! Haha! But definitely no shopping yet until my 7th month. My mom's strict orders.
Which leads me to think of baby showers. Since I don't have sisters, I am not sure how to go about this. According to the TheBump app, I should start scheduling baby showers and the like. Is this really done by the mom-to-be, at least in the US? Sounds strange to me.
I am also still "praning", especially worrying about what can possibly go wrong with the baby or with giving birth, et al. I should really find a better way of putting a lid of this.
Oh and latest preggers symptom: loose stools (tmi, sorry). I just wanted to share this because I think not a lot of people talk about it as much as they talk about constipation. What's up with that?! Hehe.
Thursday is the congenital scan. Fingers crossed everything is okay (I'm praning nga, as I mentioned). Can't wait to see the baby again though!! :)
Oh and it looks like our baby's yaya has confirmed that she'll work for us and help me care for our little fighter! Hooray! This is a huge tick mark off my to-figure-out list. She's a trusted helper and I am super comfortable to leave the baby with her. Hooray!
Which brings me to: If Armi will be my baby's caretaker, will I still need 6 months' off from work? I can sure use the money that those extra months can give me if I went back to work after 3-4 months instead of 6.
But then, it's just 2 extra months.
As I said, I have been having many thoughts. Hehe. Not all are coherent.
Lastly, breastfeeding seems to be a quite complicated affair. Note to self to continue my research on this and watch more youtube instructionals.
That's it for now! :) 21 weeks today!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Midway point and ecstatic!
Officially 20 weeks pregnant today, aka the midway point! 18-20 more weeks to go into this miraculous pregnancy, and I am loving it. Just feel like sharing some random kwento today----
Movements: Well, the baby is supposedly now the length of a banana, which explains why I can feel him more now. Albeit the little flicks come and go and sometimes the intervals between them are pretty long, I can 'feel' where he is in my belly. He moves around a lot, I think, especially when BabyPlus is playing. I can't wait until I can feel his movements more, and share them with his daddy.
Aches and Pains: So far a pretty uneventful pregnancy and I am so grateful for it. I do feel some of the aches and pains, but definitely nothing I can't handle -- all of them (shoulder spasms, lower arm swelling that resembles carpal tunnel pain, etc) are a far cry from dysmennorhea and because I know they have a purpose (i.e. side effect of baby growing), I don't mind at all. I'm just so so so grateful, at least for the most part. I can do without the leg cramps for sure. Hehehe. And I hope my feet don't swell too much in the end. I have lots of nice shoes kaya :p
Size: I have yet to weigh myself again, but last time I checked (about 4-5 weeks ago), I had only gained about 5-6 pounds. Some people though have apparently no qualms about telling me to my face "you're so huge!" Umm, that's mostly from the hormones I took prior to getting preggers, lady. But why should I use up energy to get all defensive? I think though I need to start gaining a bit more in the coming weeks. According to BabyCenter, the baby is supposed to double in size from month 5 to month 6.
Babymoon: I entertain the idea of a babymoon sometimes, often flipflopping between wanting to go and saving money + what if something happens and I need my doctor. So my fearless forecast is nothing will get planned. Haha! Which at the end of the day is fine with me, I guess. We really traveled a lot already prior to this and I don't feel shortchanged at all. In fact, I can't wait to have the baby with us already.
Baby Name: We do have a name in mind, and we use it already to refer to the baby. I think it's an apt name given that he's our little fighter. Can't wait to share soon :)
That's it for now. Congenital scan is up next, on Feb 19, and I pray everything is okay. I've been indulging in some baseless worries recently, and I know I should stop. Buddha gave us this baby and He will make sure that our little one will be fine and dandy.
Love you, little fighter!
Movements: Well, the baby is supposedly now the length of a banana, which explains why I can feel him more now. Albeit the little flicks come and go and sometimes the intervals between them are pretty long, I can 'feel' where he is in my belly. He moves around a lot, I think, especially when BabyPlus is playing. I can't wait until I can feel his movements more, and share them with his daddy.
Aches and Pains: So far a pretty uneventful pregnancy and I am so grateful for it. I do feel some of the aches and pains, but definitely nothing I can't handle -- all of them (shoulder spasms, lower arm swelling that resembles carpal tunnel pain, etc) are a far cry from dysmennorhea and because I know they have a purpose (i.e. side effect of baby growing), I don't mind at all. I'm just so so so grateful, at least for the most part. I can do without the leg cramps for sure. Hehehe. And I hope my feet don't swell too much in the end. I have lots of nice shoes kaya :p
Size: I have yet to weigh myself again, but last time I checked (about 4-5 weeks ago), I had only gained about 5-6 pounds. Some people though have apparently no qualms about telling me to my face "you're so huge!" Umm, that's mostly from the hormones I took prior to getting preggers, lady. But why should I use up energy to get all defensive? I think though I need to start gaining a bit more in the coming weeks. According to BabyCenter, the baby is supposed to double in size from month 5 to month 6.
Babymoon: I entertain the idea of a babymoon sometimes, often flipflopping between wanting to go and saving money + what if something happens and I need my doctor. So my fearless forecast is nothing will get planned. Haha! Which at the end of the day is fine with me, I guess. We really traveled a lot already prior to this and I don't feel shortchanged at all. In fact, I can't wait to have the baby with us already.
Baby Name: We do have a name in mind, and we use it already to refer to the baby. I think it's an apt name given that he's our little fighter. Can't wait to share soon :)
That's it for now. Congenital scan is up next, on Feb 19, and I pray everything is okay. I've been indulging in some baseless worries recently, and I know I should stop. Buddha gave us this baby and He will make sure that our little one will be fine and dandy.
Love you, little fighter!
Tuesday, February 03, 2015
Gender reveal!!!
And we are having a boy!!!!!
See his boy parts?
Needless to say, Daddy Attorney was ecstatic! He looked like he won the lottery when the sonologist pointed out the little pututuy and said "it's likely a boy". I know I initially indulged in some wishful thinking it was a girl but truthfully, my instincts have always pointed towards a boy. And when I heard it's indeed a "he", I have never felt so happy in my life. I love the fact that there's now a clearer image of our little miracle, at least in our heads. It's a boy, oh boy!!!
Hello there, my little fighter :) Daddy and Mommy have so many dreams for you. For now, just keep growing safely and healthily. We're gonna have so much fun together :)
Love.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
BabyPlus!
My friend KQ told me about BabyPlus when she was pregnant with her daughter in 2009. It's a prenatal education system that uses heartbeat tones as the "medium of instruction". There are 16 lessons that you play at a prescribed schedule starting Week 18 (which I'm at as of today!). You strap the thing onto your belly and use it twice a day for an hour each. The machine is preprogrammed to be at an optimum volume level and will automatically shut off after an hour.
I first used it today at 12nn and I must admit, the sound is very noticeable indeed! I'm glad I chose to use it at 12nn and 6pm - i.e. least disruption to my officemates. Hehe.
I also notice some stretching in my uterus when I was playing it and about an hour or two afterwards. The FAQs in the website says this is expected and in fact, once I can feel the baby moving, I'll even notice the increased activity more whenever I use BabyPlus.
So here it is! I keep the contraption in a ziplock bag with a matching calendar of lessons that I tick off as I go through it.
I must also admit something: this machine is also special to me because it's the first thing I ever bought in anticipation of getting pregnant. I saw it on sale online and figured I might as well buy it, way back in March 2011! I was that naive in thinking we will easily get pregnant so might as well get a good deal for Babyplus. :p Oh well. I'm just happy I finally get to use it :)
18 weeks today! :) Hope you're cozy and comfy in there, baby!
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Birth photography
I only found out there was such a thing when I started reading Project Mom but it peaked my curiosity and led me to research online. It looks so interesting!!
This video also explains it. She seems like such "good vibes" I'm very interested!!!
:)
Project Mom
Here's my reading material this long Papal Visit weekend :) Found it on 50% off online, so I pulled the trigger and got it. I've always been curious about it but didn't want to pluck down a thousand bucks for a book.
We did a 16-week ultrasound yesterday-- my first pelvic ultrasound (yay, no more transV!!) and we tried to see the gender. Baby was shy and kept the legs crossed. Hehe. Next time then, which is in 2 weeks or so :)
Bringing my highlighter out to take note of the tips I like! :)
Thursday, January 08, 2015
Options
Ok, so I opened the year with some thoughts and with it, some lessons. In our annual FILC 'surveys', there's a question on what life lesson you learned during the year concerned. I think I already have my answer for 2015 -- The beauty about having money isn't about the money per se, or the things it can buy. It lies in the options it affords you to consider and allows you to make. Having choices is such a luxury -- one that oftentimes money can buy.
Anyone reading this blog regularly will also know that I am a planner at heart. So as early as now, I am thinking of what to do when the baby arrives. My thought process goes as follows (and these little thoughts may not always harmonize with each other, hehehe):
1. I've waited for this baby for a long time, and leaving him/her to go to work after 2 months seems unjust to the cause I've fought and to the little fighter who clawed and fought his/her way into our lives. I didn't just wait to get pregnant. I waited to have a baby. I feel I owe it to myself, to our little family and to the heavenly beings I flooded and bombarded with my endless pleas and prayers to maximize our little one's littlest months. To do otherwise feels ungrateful.
2. On the other hand, to be a full-time mother costs money (at least forgoes the earning of money). Money that, strictly speaking, we may have in our stashed-away funds, but money that we will miss nonetheless. Should I 'buy' this period of time (in my head, it's a full year as 6 months still doesn't sound enough)? Me being me, I already have a figure in my head for how much this year will cost. Should I do it? Will it be responsible of me (fiscally speaking) to do so?
3. The other thing to consider is the impact to my career in the long run.... which leads me to the next point....
4. By the time the baby arrives, I would have spent 2 years in this media company. I came here to (1) learn something new while (2) affording myself a flexible, non-critical yet substantial role at work to still be able to earn and be productive with my brain and efforts, while pursuing infertility treatment. A big check on both counts, but I also feel the time has come (the mark of which is at 2 years) to end it. I've done what I came here to do. Moving-on is the next logical thing.
5. But of course, move on how? Here is where the options come in:
Option 1: Take a 1-year sabbatical after my maternity leave (subject to approval, of course) and return to Smart by mid-2016.
Upside: I keep my tenure and will be working walking-distance away at a place I have paid my dues in and no longer need to exert too much effort in proving myself. Work is familiar. This option is likely the most palatable to all bosses concerned, including HR, making the sabbatical easier to approve.
Downside: I don't like the current management. I won't be learning anything new. May also have career implications of staying too long in 1 industry/company.
Option 2: Similar as Option 1 except instead of Smart, I look for elsewhere within the Group (that is not media).
Upside: I can leverage on the last 9 years I invested in this group. It also tends to be financially rewarding and at least my last package from Smart can still be honored. Depending on the company, I will learn something new.
Downside: Location may not be favorable to me unless it's PLDT (gulp!) and I doubt my current boss will not feel bad if I choose another 'sister-company' over the one he heads.
Option 3: Take the sabbatical, look for work while on break, and go from there.
Upside: The reverse of the above. And I have a fresh start.
Downside: Pretty tough to find work that's as physically close to my home as Smart is. Plus, there would be backlash in taking a sabbatical only to resign later on.
Option 4: Resign from the onset.
Seems there's no upside. Haha!
If you notice, coming back to my current position is not an option for me. It's not good for my career in the long run. It's also not close to my place, and there's no 'passion' on my end for this industry.
So there. That's where I am right now. I wish money were not an issue at all, so that I can have another option, which is to be a consultant and work part-time indefinitely. But I know that's not fair to my family and as it is, the one year off already carries cost.
Wish me luck! Have about 4 months before I need to give notice. :)
Anyone reading this blog regularly will also know that I am a planner at heart. So as early as now, I am thinking of what to do when the baby arrives. My thought process goes as follows (and these little thoughts may not always harmonize with each other, hehehe):
1. I've waited for this baby for a long time, and leaving him/her to go to work after 2 months seems unjust to the cause I've fought and to the little fighter who clawed and fought his/her way into our lives. I didn't just wait to get pregnant. I waited to have a baby. I feel I owe it to myself, to our little family and to the heavenly beings I flooded and bombarded with my endless pleas and prayers to maximize our little one's littlest months. To do otherwise feels ungrateful.
2. On the other hand, to be a full-time mother costs money (at least forgoes the earning of money). Money that, strictly speaking, we may have in our stashed-away funds, but money that we will miss nonetheless. Should I 'buy' this period of time (in my head, it's a full year as 6 months still doesn't sound enough)? Me being me, I already have a figure in my head for how much this year will cost. Should I do it? Will it be responsible of me (fiscally speaking) to do so?
3. The other thing to consider is the impact to my career in the long run.... which leads me to the next point....
4. By the time the baby arrives, I would have spent 2 years in this media company. I came here to (1) learn something new while (2) affording myself a flexible, non-critical yet substantial role at work to still be able to earn and be productive with my brain and efforts, while pursuing infertility treatment. A big check on both counts, but I also feel the time has come (the mark of which is at 2 years) to end it. I've done what I came here to do. Moving-on is the next logical thing.
5. But of course, move on how? Here is where the options come in:
Option 1: Take a 1-year sabbatical after my maternity leave (subject to approval, of course) and return to Smart by mid-2016.
Upside: I keep my tenure and will be working walking-distance away at a place I have paid my dues in and no longer need to exert too much effort in proving myself. Work is familiar. This option is likely the most palatable to all bosses concerned, including HR, making the sabbatical easier to approve.
Downside: I don't like the current management. I won't be learning anything new. May also have career implications of staying too long in 1 industry/company.
Option 2: Similar as Option 1 except instead of Smart, I look for elsewhere within the Group (that is not media).
Upside: I can leverage on the last 9 years I invested in this group. It also tends to be financially rewarding and at least my last package from Smart can still be honored. Depending on the company, I will learn something new.
Downside: Location may not be favorable to me unless it's PLDT (gulp!) and I doubt my current boss will not feel bad if I choose another 'sister-company' over the one he heads.
Option 3: Take the sabbatical, look for work while on break, and go from there.
Upside: The reverse of the above. And I have a fresh start.
Downside: Pretty tough to find work that's as physically close to my home as Smart is. Plus, there would be backlash in taking a sabbatical only to resign later on.
Option 4: Resign from the onset.
Seems there's no upside. Haha!
If you notice, coming back to my current position is not an option for me. It's not good for my career in the long run. It's also not close to my place, and there's no 'passion' on my end for this industry.
So there. That's where I am right now. I wish money were not an issue at all, so that I can have another option, which is to be a consultant and work part-time indefinitely. But I know that's not fair to my family and as it is, the one year off already carries cost.
Wish me luck! Have about 4 months before I need to give notice. :)
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Goodbye, 2014! Hello,2015!
As this year comes to a close, I find myself in deep deep gratitude as I recap the blessings we received this year. Finally getting pregnant is the biggest highlight of the year, and I know giving birth and finally meeting our precious little fighter will be 2015's best moment. And for that, I am thanking all my lucky stars. Thank you thank you. Getting to this point was definitely challenging, riddled with many heartbreaks and disappointments. But as every ultrasound showed me, it all just melts away when I come face to face with our little fighter via the ultrasound machine. I can't wait for June when the real face-to-face happens.
On the career end, I got promoted to AVP level, much to my surprise. I honestly thought I was just coasting along at work, as it was a convenient pit stop professionally as I pursued infertility treatments. All I asked for was some flexi time and understanding. A promotion and all the benefits that come with it was the furthest thing from my mind. A blessing when you weren't looking. Thank you.
On the finances end, we really took a beating here. Two rounds of ivf and a hell lot of other medical conditions amounted to such a big cash-based expense, but no complaints here. All that was worth it to finally be on the way. I am grateful to have had the chance these past 4 years to get bonuses to save for this big project of our marriage. If it wasn't for this "war chest", I know I'd be stressing out now.
The year wasn't filled with travel-- that's one thing that sets 2014 apart from the three other years we've been married. Other priorities took over. I'm grateful to have gotten so travel-drunk the past few years that I barely even noticed we haven't been traveling much. Onto other priorities, I guess.
Thank you, 2014. You're ending in such a brighter, better way that you started.
Welcome, 2015. All I ask is that you bring me a healthy, happy baby --- healthy in mind, body and spirit--- and a safe pregnancy and delivery. No other requests.
:) Cheers!!!
Friday, December 12, 2014
Nuchal translucency test: Passed!
So I had my first trimester screening the other day, and baby passed! It measures the thickness of the back of the neck to check for any swelling. My baby's measured 1.1cm and I think the upper limit of normal is 4. So yay!
And here's a shot from the ultrasound!
(I must say, Kato takes better ultrasound pics than St Lukes) :p
Hello there, little love! You were so good the other day, staying on your side as the doctor measured the back of your neck. Good job! :)
Thursday, December 04, 2014
The sweetest video EVER
Sharing and posting this here because it's one of the best digital campaigns I've ever stumbled upon and the sweetest video ever made--
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0C5R_12zpKM
Thanks to IVF, I know the exact date of our "first day together", little one. And Mommy loves you too. So much more than you will ever ever know.
<3
Wednesday, December 03, 2014
Graduation from KATO!
Last Sunday, Kato gave me my walking papers, which refers to a medical certificate, a medical referral letter, an IVF report and an ultrasound report, meant to aid my OB (who will now handle my pregnancy fulltime). I got released at less than 10 weeks because they said there was no medical reason to keep me there longer - I had no bleeding, my cervix is closed and the baby is growing on schedule. I was so happy! Part of me never stopped bracing for something wrong, and to hear that I ticked all the boxes brought such great relief and encouragement - I've done well in optimizing myself for this baby, despite all the other issues I have.
Also the highlight of Sunday was seeing our babylove again! This time, she grew so much bigger and even managed to show us several times that she can now wiggle her arms and legs. Awwww <3
Here she is! Dennis took a video, which I'll find a way to post here somehow. Now that I'm turned over to an OB, my ultrasounds won't be as frequent anymore, so I'm very glad to have this video to play over and over until next month when I get to take a peek again:)
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
2 months!
Officially 2 months pregnant, or 8 weeks 1 day to be very exact.
Had my 8th week scan today and this time, my loving mama came along with me as Dennis couldn't get out of a work commitment. I was also happy to have my mom there, to experience this miracle with her and to share with her the overwhelming joy of seeing that strong heartbeat flickering on the screen. There's no more glorious sight to behold in this entire world, I tell you.
So here's my little love @ 2 months gestation:
Our little bean is now 1.5cm, right on time, it seems, and the lovely little heart is beating at 151bpm. Love. My heart is full.
Next up is a consult with my immunologist. She still has me on 10mg of Prednisone daily, which I would like to ask if it can be lowered. While I know many people take it throughout pregnancy, I would like to continue taking medication that is absolutely necessary. Especially as Prednisone is a steroid.
Then again, because it's meant to manage my ANA-positive condition, a part of me is also nervous to cut down on the meds. Does that sound strange? Because I waited for this little love for so long, I want to do everything in my power to optimize and protect this pregnancy. I just find myself flipflopping on the best steps to achieve that goal.
Anyway, that issue aside, pregnancy is so far so good to me. Except for the bouts of nausea and the constant upper-back spasms. What's up with that?! I read somewhere the back cramps may be due to my boobs becoming heavier and as I wasn't particularly athletic pre-pregnancy, my back is complaining. Geez. I wonder if that's true. As it is, my back spasms bother me enough to wake me from sleep.
But no complaints. At all. Anything for my little love. Anything.
My heart is truly full. So this is what gratitude feels like.
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