gray area

Ok, it all began with an innocent story you started. It opened a topic that I had always wondered about... so I took a chance and threw the question in the air...

Woah! I discovered that the answer wasn't what I had hoped. Or was even prepared to hear.

Oh, dear Lord, I wish I didn't have to ask, so I didn't have to know. Now it's just.. unsettling... Bothersome. Nags at my mind. But as much as I wish I can go and take that question back.... what's done is done. What's heard has been heard. Now my heart just can't rest. Can't rest.

Ah, what the hell... In all likelihood, it's nothing to even obsess over. It might really be nothing. But the fact that it was unrefuted, undenied... that's just really unsettling. And I hate it. Esp since it was * that even linked us together in the first place. It's just, well, ironic, I guess.

I hate gray areas. I hate being uncertain about something... rather, someone that I care about. It was hard not to react to what you said earlier, but I hope I achieve some level of success with that. The last thing I want is for you to know how affected I was. Because I was. Really. More than I ever ever ever want to let on.

Shit. Such a great day ended so..... bad. =(