I feel so bad for my friend, who married a good man who is turning out to be not as good a husband. Not that he's abusive or anything like that. He's the perfect gentleman, giving her everything she needs materially and allowing her to relish in the returns of her materially fulfilling job. He indulges her whims and lets her do whatever she likes. At first, I thought things got better when they got married. After all, you're supposed to imbibe those very vows you spoke at the altar, when you promised to give all of yourself to another. Turns out a good wedding doesn't always make a good marriage.
I worry for her. Worry that she walks her path separately from her husband's, which is precisely what marriage is not supposed to be about. I worry that, as much as he does genuinely love her, he isn't capable of giving her what she truly, desperately wants-- a true partner. Someone who's totally devoted to you, someone who actually hurts more than you do whenever the world hurts you, someone who's your biggest fan and your staunchest ally, someone who doesn't only support your dreams but owns them as his own as well, someone who lives and breathes you, someone who's dedicated to live his life to make yours easier, someone who is with you 100%, truly, madly, deeply, someone who will marry you over and over and over...
Because if you don't have that, you don't have a marriage. You don't have a partner. All you have is a ring on your hand and the memory of a grand party. All you have is a roommate, a housemate.. All you have is a sounding board, not a soul mate. All you have is a companion, not a kindred spirit. All you have is a life you settled for, not the life you dreamed about... Happiness shouldn't be something you have to convince yourself you have.
I don't know how to help her..
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