Thursday, March 13, 2008

a numbed life

Through various discussions today, I realized that there really are some deeply unhappy, deeply unsatisfied people in the world-- people who go through life settling for diluted versions of happiness often found through overdrinking, abuse of substances, materialism and superficial conversations full of air, air and more air. These are people who, whenever they talk about their "happy" lives, attempt to convince themselves more than the ones they're actually speaking with-- convince themselves that the path they have chosen is one they have actively selected and designed for themselves, instead of the empty, pathetic excuse of a life where injuries and insecurities are bandaged haphazardly by alcohol, drugs, money and fluffy talk. They think they have people fooled but really, the fakeness is so, ironically, real. They fail to realize that the relationships they forge are very fake and superficial, because they are not offering their true selves in the relationships and instead keep up this pretense of always showing a happy, content, and often carelessly carefree face. No one in the world has a perfect life. I don't know why these people seem to think they can get away with projecting that they're an exception to that rule. Don't they know that the greatest equalizer in this world is that no one's life is absolutely, completely perfect? It's okay to have flaws, it's okay not to have or be certain things, it's okay to just be yourself.

More than disturbing, it's actually really sad. It's so sad to see people with so much potential and promise fall into a vicious cycle of pretentiousness, just to fit in, just to put on an act and just to feel temporarily better about themselves. Aren't they scared that one day, they look in the mirror and cannot recognize themselves anymore? Aren't they frightened that, at the end of the day, when it truly, truly counts, they do not have people in their lives to depend on? Aren't they terrified that, when stripped of all their lies and deceit, the people they choose to surround themselves with will leave them like a bag of garbage? It's so sad.

Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be real.

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