My supposed trip last weekend to Singapore got moved to this weekend instead, so I'm flying out this Saturday to once again set foot in the place I called home for about 10 months when I was a kid...
I'm excited-- though that excitement is tempered by a tinge of disappointment. My boyfriend's bar exam results are coming out on Thursday, and I know he planned to celebrate this weekend. But, because of my new travel plans, the celebration would have to go on without me..
Hay..
Oh well, will make it up to him somehow...
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
footwear malfunction
Here I am, cheerfully walking down Ayala Ave on the way to the office, when...
SPLAT!
Footwear strap breaks. Holy crap!
To think this pair of shoes was pretty expensive and from a "reliable" brand. I was so furious-- and since I was in the middle of the walkway, I had to drag my left foot like an injured imbecile all the way to the taxi stand in the next block. People were staring at me like I was an alien from outer space.
Once I found a taxi, I was finally off to an unexpected rendesvous to the mall to buy a new pair. All while already being late to an important meeting. My cellphone was ringing annoyingly from the time I tried on a new pair for size to the very minute I paid and walked out of the store.
Since the big boss who called the meeting is a guy, I couldn't very well explain my predicament. I just smiled and gave my hasty apologies as I sat at the back of the room.
All because of those stupid shoes.
Which I threw away the first chance I got, by the way.
Hay, what a day!!!
SPLAT!
Footwear strap breaks. Holy crap!
To think this pair of shoes was pretty expensive and from a "reliable" brand. I was so furious-- and since I was in the middle of the walkway, I had to drag my left foot like an injured imbecile all the way to the taxi stand in the next block. People were staring at me like I was an alien from outer space.
Once I found a taxi, I was finally off to an unexpected rendesvous to the mall to buy a new pair. All while already being late to an important meeting. My cellphone was ringing annoyingly from the time I tried on a new pair for size to the very minute I paid and walked out of the store.
Since the big boss who called the meeting is a guy, I couldn't very well explain my predicament. I just smiled and gave my hasty apologies as I sat at the back of the room.
All because of those stupid shoes.
Which I threw away the first chance I got, by the way.
Hay, what a day!!!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
A quote for everybody who loves....
Knowing when it's right NOT TO RESCUE has been one> of my greatest lessons. Since my natural tendency is to jump in to the fray and solve problems for my loved ones, it took me many years to learn what a disservice this can be.” — Chelle Thompson, Editor of Inspiration Line
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
2 weddings and a planning session...
are what I've been up to lately.
Attended 2 weddings over the weekend- both held at the same venues. Funny, seems like Edsa Shang has become quite popular for wedding receptions..
Anyway, it was such a nice weekend, because it was filled with visions of love, of celebration, of dancing, of speeches & tears, and of friendship. I love weddings! They're just so happy and so full of love, refreshing a mind and body that's been harassed by work all throughout the week. I loved it! :)
The nice relaxing weekend was followed by a hectic 2-day planning session out-of-town, and an even more hectic day back (today). It's incredible how much work can pile up after 2 days, and it's even more incredible how time flies by so fast just when you need it to slow down a bit. Can barely catch my breath.
On the good side, I'm super busy but I'm super having fun too. That's the main difference, I guess, with my old job, where my feet are practically scraping the pavement as I drag myself to accomplish one task after another.
More updates soon... Have to get back to work =P
Attended 2 weddings over the weekend- both held at the same venues. Funny, seems like Edsa Shang has become quite popular for wedding receptions..
Anyway, it was such a nice weekend, because it was filled with visions of love, of celebration, of dancing, of speeches & tears, and of friendship. I love weddings! They're just so happy and so full of love, refreshing a mind and body that's been harassed by work all throughout the week. I loved it! :)
The nice relaxing weekend was followed by a hectic 2-day planning session out-of-town, and an even more hectic day back (today). It's incredible how much work can pile up after 2 days, and it's even more incredible how time flies by so fast just when you need it to slow down a bit. Can barely catch my breath.
On the good side, I'm super busy but I'm super having fun too. That's the main difference, I guess, with my old job, where my feet are practically scraping the pavement as I drag myself to accomplish one task after another.
More updates soon... Have to get back to work =P
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
busy bee...
It's been a hectic couple of days at work-- I hardly even had time for a bathroom break in between board meetings, agency presentations, and project defenses. I feel like I've been here for ages, and not just 3 months. Sometimes, just when I feel like asking people to cut me some slack, due to the fact that I've only been here for 3 months and have barely warmed my bottom in this place, the achiever complex in me refuses to even utter those words of excuse. I'm gonna do this. I've done this before. I can do this.
In other news, I've got myself a new phone! (How sad that a new phone is my perkup for the week). Got a sweeeet deal for it-- I guess that's one of the few perks in working for a telco. Well, at least I have a new toy to tinker with when in transit from one meeting to another =P
Haha, how pathetic! =P
In other news, I've got myself a new phone! (How sad that a new phone is my perkup for the week). Got a sweeeet deal for it-- I guess that's one of the few perks in working for a telco. Well, at least I have a new toy to tinker with when in transit from one meeting to another =P
Haha, how pathetic! =P
Monday, March 06, 2006
resign to your fate, dear girl...
Doesn’t it stink that no matter how progressive our society claims to have become, the most basic and most primal of human relationships still remains where it was ages ago? Granted, it’s not exactly as bad as it once was—I mean, these days, girls are no longer bartered off at the market like a piece of meat, nor are they forced to bind their feet in an effort to be deemed beautiful. Girls are no longer treated as second-class citizens—in fact, I dare say there’s now a growing % of parents who reckon having female children is as good as having sons.
But, this weekend made me realize the baby steps the people in my culture have actually taken towards progressive thinking—especially (oh, dear lord, especially..) in the topic of marriage.
Imagine, my boyfriend is just starting out to be a lawyer—a baby, really, in his chosen field, for the results of his regulatory exams have yet to be unveiled next month. He’s merely a fledgling in his profession, and already, my family expects to receive some sort of sign that he is serious about me. Take note that, in this culture, being serious is something that can only be proven by a ring. And a dowry. Love and affection, trust and respect—you know, those things that make a relationship work-- don’t count unless you’ve got the rock to show for it.
Their argument: We’ve been dating for almost a year. I am, in their terms, nearing my ‘expiration date’ – an invisible, yet unbelievably palpable, date whereby an unwedded me is officially a cast-off, whom no man in his right mind or ripe age will ever marry, and therefore a forever burden to my family. He, on the other hand, is ‘mature enough to take a wife’—meaning he’s reached the age respectable enough to marry. Upon being bestowed his official title as lawyer, he’s got no other excuse for not offering his hand. Unless, of course, yours truly is not the one he wants.
Hence, they deem themselves reasonable in expecting something to happen—if not now, then in the foreseeable future (read: within 2006). If not, then it’s better that I keep my eyes open and myself available for other ‘takers’—as if I were an item being auctioned off to the public. It’s better, they say, to scope out other options than put all your eggs in one basket, only to realize later on that your chosen one will not choose you for the long haul.
How cruel this fate—they say. Imagine giving the best years of your life betting on a relationship that won’t be yours forever anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I agree with this—in fact, this is also a fear of mine. What I detest about this line of thinking, though, is the pressure they keep laying on—and laying on thick—when, as far as I’m concerned, it’s not something to even think about at this point. I’m not ready to get married, so is he. I know he loves me enough to marry me, but he’s just not settled enough in his field to risk it. I know I love him enough to marry him, but I’m just not yet done with all that I want to achieve as a single person. We’re both not ready, which is not to be confused with not willing. These aren’t excuses or alibis for not getting married. They’re reasons. Legitimate ones.
I guess they think that way because they don’t know what we—the two of us—talk about privately. They don’t hear about the plans we have, the dreams for the future, the vague picture we have in our heads of how our life together will look. I don’t fault them for it, because, after all, how on earth can they possibly know? However, I am very tempted to fault them for thinking there’s no such plan. For assuming that we’re a couple of foolish kids who don’t think about the future, who don’t weigh the possibilities, who don’t look out for ourselves. It’s annoying to be put in that position—to have other people in your life make decisions for you just because they don’t think you’re mature enough or you know enough about the world to navigate your way through life. It’s irritating, because not only does it apply unbelievable heaps of pressure, it also makes you feel like an unnecessary factor, an insignificant detail, a small ant in this process—when it’s your life they’re talking about.
Finally, I just find this entire thing to be such a joke—a joke because it just doesn’t feel real. The whole sentiment that a girl is only as good as her dowry is just plain dumb. I am as traditionally Chinese as the next girl, but I certainly don’t subscribe to the belief that a girl’s sole purpose in life is to be a wife and a mom. Take note, I have nothing against being a wife and being a mom. What I don’t agree with is believing that that is all that a girl should become, or ever hope of becoming. Life doesn’t end with getting married and having kids. And, more importantly, a woman’s worth is not to be measured by how many men want to marry her, or how young she got married, and heaven forbid, how many sons she gave her mother in law.
I’m just frustrated. And really ticked off by all this “is he ever going to marry you? If he is, why hasn’t he said anything? Where is the ring? You’re old na, you should really start getting concerned” talk. AAARG! Leave me alone! Are we in the Middle Ages?!
And, oh, it gets better.
To take it a step further, they sat me down and told me they’re concerned about the frequency of our dates. It’s all related to the argument I cited above. They say it goes against my welfare to be seen in public so often with him, because (here goes..):
A daughter should always be treated with care. When she is seen very often with a man, people make assumptions about her. If she is seen often in public with him, holding hands or being affectionate, they assume that she will end up with him. If she doesn’t, (suppose they broke up), and she is seen out with another man in public in the same manner, they will assume she is a “woman with multiple relations with men” and that’s damaging to her reputation. Hence, if Dennis does not show any intent to marry you, you should think twice about being seen so often with him in public.
Oh my god, you can just imagine my horror. WTF!? I was never informed that there was such a thing! Have you ever heard of such a ridiculous line of thought?! The argument persists:
In fact, until a girl is engaged to the man, she is never to go out-of-town or abroad with him. Even if and especially if it’s with his family. Never. People will assume she is easy, that something has happened to her and the man. So, should they break up or not end up together for whatever reason, no sane man would take her as a wife, for she has ‘already been with another’. In the same manner, if the event is a big celebration where the man’s entire extended family is in attendance, the girl should not attend alone. She must always be with a chaperone, lest she be misunderstood as ‘under the illusion that she is part of the family’, or worse that she is easy.
All this, of course, gets thrown out the window once the man proposes marriage. After which, all events or trips can be attended by the girl.
Again, WTF?!
I can see the hint of wisdom deeply embedded in these words. I agree that a girl should always take good care of herself, to be aware of how she comes off to people and how her actions can be misinterpreted. I agree that a girl should always care for her name and that a girl should never allow herself to be taken for granted in the most humiliating way.
However, I think these words should also be tempered by reason. There comes a point where you shouldn’t care about what other people will say. There is a balance between noting how your actions can come across and doing things that make you happy. As long as you know you’re not doing anything bad or hurting anyone or going overboard with doing as you please, then that should be okay.
It’s just really tiring to live by someone else’s rules, be bound by philosophies that aren’t your own. It gets taxing to act and decide out of tradition and not out of principle. And it gets tiresome to take into account the world’s opinion and ignore your own.
Well…. (Sighs)…
I’ll just take his advice and take it all in stride. After all, in this society, resistance to tradition is futile. Unless you wanna live out in the streets.
Or unless you get married.
Whichever comes first.
Harharhar! Oh well…if you can’t fight them… laugh at them nalang! =P
But, this weekend made me realize the baby steps the people in my culture have actually taken towards progressive thinking—especially (oh, dear lord, especially..) in the topic of marriage.
Imagine, my boyfriend is just starting out to be a lawyer—a baby, really, in his chosen field, for the results of his regulatory exams have yet to be unveiled next month. He’s merely a fledgling in his profession, and already, my family expects to receive some sort of sign that he is serious about me. Take note that, in this culture, being serious is something that can only be proven by a ring. And a dowry. Love and affection, trust and respect—you know, those things that make a relationship work-- don’t count unless you’ve got the rock to show for it.
Their argument: We’ve been dating for almost a year. I am, in their terms, nearing my ‘expiration date’ – an invisible, yet unbelievably palpable, date whereby an unwedded me is officially a cast-off, whom no man in his right mind or ripe age will ever marry, and therefore a forever burden to my family. He, on the other hand, is ‘mature enough to take a wife’—meaning he’s reached the age respectable enough to marry. Upon being bestowed his official title as lawyer, he’s got no other excuse for not offering his hand. Unless, of course, yours truly is not the one he wants.
Hence, they deem themselves reasonable in expecting something to happen—if not now, then in the foreseeable future (read: within 2006). If not, then it’s better that I keep my eyes open and myself available for other ‘takers’—as if I were an item being auctioned off to the public. It’s better, they say, to scope out other options than put all your eggs in one basket, only to realize later on that your chosen one will not choose you for the long haul.
How cruel this fate—they say. Imagine giving the best years of your life betting on a relationship that won’t be yours forever anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I agree with this—in fact, this is also a fear of mine. What I detest about this line of thinking, though, is the pressure they keep laying on—and laying on thick—when, as far as I’m concerned, it’s not something to even think about at this point. I’m not ready to get married, so is he. I know he loves me enough to marry me, but he’s just not settled enough in his field to risk it. I know I love him enough to marry him, but I’m just not yet done with all that I want to achieve as a single person. We’re both not ready, which is not to be confused with not willing. These aren’t excuses or alibis for not getting married. They’re reasons. Legitimate ones.
I guess they think that way because they don’t know what we—the two of us—talk about privately. They don’t hear about the plans we have, the dreams for the future, the vague picture we have in our heads of how our life together will look. I don’t fault them for it, because, after all, how on earth can they possibly know? However, I am very tempted to fault them for thinking there’s no such plan. For assuming that we’re a couple of foolish kids who don’t think about the future, who don’t weigh the possibilities, who don’t look out for ourselves. It’s annoying to be put in that position—to have other people in your life make decisions for you just because they don’t think you’re mature enough or you know enough about the world to navigate your way through life. It’s irritating, because not only does it apply unbelievable heaps of pressure, it also makes you feel like an unnecessary factor, an insignificant detail, a small ant in this process—when it’s your life they’re talking about.
Finally, I just find this entire thing to be such a joke—a joke because it just doesn’t feel real. The whole sentiment that a girl is only as good as her dowry is just plain dumb. I am as traditionally Chinese as the next girl, but I certainly don’t subscribe to the belief that a girl’s sole purpose in life is to be a wife and a mom. Take note, I have nothing against being a wife and being a mom. What I don’t agree with is believing that that is all that a girl should become, or ever hope of becoming. Life doesn’t end with getting married and having kids. And, more importantly, a woman’s worth is not to be measured by how many men want to marry her, or how young she got married, and heaven forbid, how many sons she gave her mother in law.
I’m just frustrated. And really ticked off by all this “is he ever going to marry you? If he is, why hasn’t he said anything? Where is the ring? You’re old na, you should really start getting concerned” talk. AAARG! Leave me alone! Are we in the Middle Ages?!
And, oh, it gets better.
To take it a step further, they sat me down and told me they’re concerned about the frequency of our dates. It’s all related to the argument I cited above. They say it goes against my welfare to be seen in public so often with him, because (here goes..):
A daughter should always be treated with care. When she is seen very often with a man, people make assumptions about her. If she is seen often in public with him, holding hands or being affectionate, they assume that she will end up with him. If she doesn’t, (suppose they broke up), and she is seen out with another man in public in the same manner, they will assume she is a “woman with multiple relations with men” and that’s damaging to her reputation. Hence, if Dennis does not show any intent to marry you, you should think twice about being seen so often with him in public.
Oh my god, you can just imagine my horror. WTF!? I was never informed that there was such a thing! Have you ever heard of such a ridiculous line of thought?! The argument persists:
In fact, until a girl is engaged to the man, she is never to go out-of-town or abroad with him. Even if and especially if it’s with his family. Never. People will assume she is easy, that something has happened to her and the man. So, should they break up or not end up together for whatever reason, no sane man would take her as a wife, for she has ‘already been with another’. In the same manner, if the event is a big celebration where the man’s entire extended family is in attendance, the girl should not attend alone. She must always be with a chaperone, lest she be misunderstood as ‘under the illusion that she is part of the family’, or worse that she is easy.
All this, of course, gets thrown out the window once the man proposes marriage. After which, all events or trips can be attended by the girl.
Again, WTF?!
I can see the hint of wisdom deeply embedded in these words. I agree that a girl should always take good care of herself, to be aware of how she comes off to people and how her actions can be misinterpreted. I agree that a girl should always care for her name and that a girl should never allow herself to be taken for granted in the most humiliating way.
However, I think these words should also be tempered by reason. There comes a point where you shouldn’t care about what other people will say. There is a balance between noting how your actions can come across and doing things that make you happy. As long as you know you’re not doing anything bad or hurting anyone or going overboard with doing as you please, then that should be okay.
It’s just really tiring to live by someone else’s rules, be bound by philosophies that aren’t your own. It gets taxing to act and decide out of tradition and not out of principle. And it gets tiresome to take into account the world’s opinion and ignore your own.
Well…. (Sighs)…
I’ll just take his advice and take it all in stride. After all, in this society, resistance to tradition is futile. Unless you wanna live out in the streets.
Or unless you get married.
Whichever comes first.
Harharhar! Oh well…if you can’t fight them… laugh at them nalang! =P
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
thinking w/o thinking...
Jumpstarted my love affair with books again recently. Been on a roll, reading one book after the other-- from fiction to a biography back to fiction then this:
I think all businesspeople, marketers and advertisers, especially account planners, need to read this book. It's a revolutionary way of thinking about... well, thinking. It debunks the world's reliance on the spoken word-- on taking people's words with more weight than their actions or their facial expressions or other details and nuances that actually contain more insight into what they truly feel. There was more "aha!" moments from this book than I expected, and I think it's an important piece of lit for anyone who's working in any communication or business field.
I think all businesspeople, marketers and advertisers, especially account planners, need to read this book. It's a revolutionary way of thinking about... well, thinking. It debunks the world's reliance on the spoken word-- on taking people's words with more weight than their actions or their facial expressions or other details and nuances that actually contain more insight into what they truly feel. There was more "aha!" moments from this book than I expected, and I think it's an important piece of lit for anyone who's working in any communication or business field.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
memoirs of a geisha
For a book that I loooved from start to finish, I was a little iffy about watching the big-screen adaptation. Usually, based-on-bestseller flicks end up being a delight to non-book readers and an utter disappointment for the book-lovers.
Luckily... this movie wasn't much like those sorry movies. I looooved it! It weaves the story of Sayuri in the same manner as the book-- and conveys the same awe and emotion that the book takes you through page after page.
Memoirs the movie certainly did not disappoint. I can hear Memoirs the book sigh a huge whew of relief for this. =P
Luckily... this movie wasn't much like those sorry movies. I looooved it! It weaves the story of Sayuri in the same manner as the book-- and conveys the same awe and emotion that the book takes you through page after page.
Memoirs the movie certainly did not disappoint. I can hear Memoirs the book sigh a huge whew of relief for this. =P
Thursday, February 23, 2006
yearbook CD
Finally got the much talked-about Continuum yearbook CD today, thanks to my little bro who's still in school.
My favorite part is the prophecy for SDL-- it's hilarious! All the whips and jokes about people were even more endearing, because they're all linked somehow to a memory, a personality trait, a weird quirk, a trademark, or a legacy of each person. It perfectly encapsulates every SDL blockmate, and captures the fun & the richness that's so intrinsic in this ultra-great block :) It does great justice to us. I loooooved it!
And, I must say, the IMC stuff was way more interesting than the other courses' (haha, sorry! Pero sa totoo lang naman...) :P
My favorite part is the prophecy for SDL-- it's hilarious! All the whips and jokes about people were even more endearing, because they're all linked somehow to a memory, a personality trait, a weird quirk, a trademark, or a legacy of each person. It perfectly encapsulates every SDL blockmate, and captures the fun & the richness that's so intrinsic in this ultra-great block :) It does great justice to us. I loooooved it!
And, I must say, the IMC stuff was way more interesting than the other courses' (haha, sorry! Pero sa totoo lang naman...) :P
Thursday, February 16, 2006
the last 36 hours, a blow-by-blow...
What happened...
It all started on Tuesday night.
Got home a little later than usual, not because of extended quality-time with my beau, but because of extended time at work. For some reason, work got so hectic towards the latter part of the day. All of a sudden, I found myself juggling multiple tasks-- while keeping an eye at the clock that was ticking 6pm, then 6:30 then 7:00... all the way til about 8.30.
Started feeling a little tightness in the chest area but chalked it up to fatigue and not eating on time.
So when I got home, after resting for a bit and catching up with my family, I went to bed.
Woke up at 1 am in a terrible fright-- I couldn't breath. My chest felt like there was a 2-ton weight pushing on it. I had to fight very hard to get each breath in. I hurriedly called my mom's room. She rushed in with my dad, and they rushed me to the ER.
My dad drove like a madman. He blew the horn on every car that attempted to block his way and he ran every red light we passed. My mom later on realized he shouldn't have driven. We should've just woken the driver and had him take us (in our rush, we didn't even think of that). Since my dad was tense because he's worried about me, he wouldn't have been in tiptop shape to drive.
Western medicine says...
In the ER, the doctor hooked me up to an oxygen tank and gave me a pill to take. Later on, I found out it was valium. No wonder, after a few minutes, I zonked out -- as in, out cold. My body felt like rubber when I woke up.
Later on, when the tightness was considerably ebbed, they confined me to a hospital room for 1.5 days under observation. The tightness was mostly gone, though I had a difficult time taking deep breaths. The cardiologist had me take some heart tests, ruling out the heart-attack option, and some x-rays too.
The tests came back to say that I'm normal, except that one of my heart's valves doesn't open and close properly, thereby causing that feeling when I get tense, stressed or tired. I've apparently had this since birth. The doc though cannot explain why this was only triggered now. He probed me further about the circumstances before this happened, but, to be honest, I really didn't think I was that stressed. I mean, I've been more stressed in the past, and I felt fine.
It's not necessarily about work daw, but work is the largest possible contributor. Other factors are emotional stress, like fighting with someone or feeling bad or, the worst of all, worrying. All that will strain my heart and cause the tightness to happen again.
So now, after I've been discharged, the doc said we'll monitor it and, should the tightness happen frequently after today, I have to go back. Most probably to be hooked up to a heart monitor and/or to take some drugs for the thingie (otherwise called the valve).
Chinese belief says...
Not many people know that my family is devout Buddhist. Partly because my mom's side of the family is brought up in the Buddhist faith (with my mom and her siblings all attending Buddhist schools in their teens) and because both sides of my family is deeply rooted in our Chinese culture, my family attends mass at the Buddhist temple every Sunday morning, no fail (unless, of course, we're out of the country or something...). If it weren't for my friends and for attending an Opus Dei university, I wouldn't come to know the Catholic religion.
Anyway, the buddha to whom we usually pay our respects had earlier warned me (through a medium) that this lunar year is going to be a very bad one for me, especially in terms of my health. He gave me 3 pieces of gold paper to burn for 3 consecutive days, which would lead the holy army to come and protect me from evil spirits. He then also gave me 4 extra pieces of gold paper, with the instruction to burn 1 along with 36 sticks of incense, then call his name repeatedly, whenever I have a problem. Don't be scared, he said, I'll be there when you need me.
For some reason, my parents and I forgot about this Tuesday night as we rushed out of the house. When I got settled na in the hospital room, M, who has a third eye that can see and hear the buddha, asked my mom why we didn't do as told (referring to the instruction above). She also advised me against attending very very happy and very very sad occasions/events, such as attending weddings or grand birthday celebrations, visiting a sick person, attending a funeral, etc. Because my system is very susceptible to attacks of the evil nature. As much as evil is present in bad occasions, evil is lurking around during good times too.
Before dismissing this as hoolabaloo... How else can one explain why that valve thing only happened now? As stressed as Tuesday's work day may have been, I've been through tougher, more stress-packed days. In fact, before Tuesday, I've been quite free at work, and my hours are even shorter now than before in Citi. I've also been through sadder, more emotionally straining moments (my friend's death last year,for instance). I wasn't fighting with anyone that night, and the most I could worry about in my life was the fact I had no money to shop, which I wasn't worrying about-- not that it's really anything to worry about in the grand scheme of things. :P
As I've chosen to do over and over before, I'll just take both explanations to heart and follow them judiciously. After all, it's not like they're contradictory. I just have to take better care of myself, especially throughout this lunar year.
That's all, folks. Now I have to go back to the bed and rest up. :) It's been a long long couple of days..
It all started on Tuesday night.
Got home a little later than usual, not because of extended quality-time with my beau, but because of extended time at work. For some reason, work got so hectic towards the latter part of the day. All of a sudden, I found myself juggling multiple tasks-- while keeping an eye at the clock that was ticking 6pm, then 6:30 then 7:00... all the way til about 8.30.
Started feeling a little tightness in the chest area but chalked it up to fatigue and not eating on time.
So when I got home, after resting for a bit and catching up with my family, I went to bed.
Woke up at 1 am in a terrible fright-- I couldn't breath. My chest felt like there was a 2-ton weight pushing on it. I had to fight very hard to get each breath in. I hurriedly called my mom's room. She rushed in with my dad, and they rushed me to the ER.
My dad drove like a madman. He blew the horn on every car that attempted to block his way and he ran every red light we passed. My mom later on realized he shouldn't have driven. We should've just woken the driver and had him take us (in our rush, we didn't even think of that). Since my dad was tense because he's worried about me, he wouldn't have been in tiptop shape to drive.
Western medicine says...
In the ER, the doctor hooked me up to an oxygen tank and gave me a pill to take. Later on, I found out it was valium. No wonder, after a few minutes, I zonked out -- as in, out cold. My body felt like rubber when I woke up.
Later on, when the tightness was considerably ebbed, they confined me to a hospital room for 1.5 days under observation. The tightness was mostly gone, though I had a difficult time taking deep breaths. The cardiologist had me take some heart tests, ruling out the heart-attack option, and some x-rays too.
The tests came back to say that I'm normal, except that one of my heart's valves doesn't open and close properly, thereby causing that feeling when I get tense, stressed or tired. I've apparently had this since birth. The doc though cannot explain why this was only triggered now. He probed me further about the circumstances before this happened, but, to be honest, I really didn't think I was that stressed. I mean, I've been more stressed in the past, and I felt fine.
It's not necessarily about work daw, but work is the largest possible contributor. Other factors are emotional stress, like fighting with someone or feeling bad or, the worst of all, worrying. All that will strain my heart and cause the tightness to happen again.
So now, after I've been discharged, the doc said we'll monitor it and, should the tightness happen frequently after today, I have to go back. Most probably to be hooked up to a heart monitor and/or to take some drugs for the thingie (otherwise called the valve).
Chinese belief says...
Not many people know that my family is devout Buddhist. Partly because my mom's side of the family is brought up in the Buddhist faith (with my mom and her siblings all attending Buddhist schools in their teens) and because both sides of my family is deeply rooted in our Chinese culture, my family attends mass at the Buddhist temple every Sunday morning, no fail (unless, of course, we're out of the country or something...). If it weren't for my friends and for attending an Opus Dei university, I wouldn't come to know the Catholic religion.
Anyway, the buddha to whom we usually pay our respects had earlier warned me (through a medium) that this lunar year is going to be a very bad one for me, especially in terms of my health. He gave me 3 pieces of gold paper to burn for 3 consecutive days, which would lead the holy army to come and protect me from evil spirits. He then also gave me 4 extra pieces of gold paper, with the instruction to burn 1 along with 36 sticks of incense, then call his name repeatedly, whenever I have a problem. Don't be scared, he said, I'll be there when you need me.
For some reason, my parents and I forgot about this Tuesday night as we rushed out of the house. When I got settled na in the hospital room, M, who has a third eye that can see and hear the buddha, asked my mom why we didn't do as told (referring to the instruction above). She also advised me against attending very very happy and very very sad occasions/events, such as attending weddings or grand birthday celebrations, visiting a sick person, attending a funeral, etc. Because my system is very susceptible to attacks of the evil nature. As much as evil is present in bad occasions, evil is lurking around during good times too.
Before dismissing this as hoolabaloo... How else can one explain why that valve thing only happened now? As stressed as Tuesday's work day may have been, I've been through tougher, more stress-packed days. In fact, before Tuesday, I've been quite free at work, and my hours are even shorter now than before in Citi. I've also been through sadder, more emotionally straining moments (my friend's death last year,for instance). I wasn't fighting with anyone that night, and the most I could worry about in my life was the fact I had no money to shop, which I wasn't worrying about-- not that it's really anything to worry about in the grand scheme of things. :P
As I've chosen to do over and over before, I'll just take both explanations to heart and follow them judiciously. After all, it's not like they're contradictory. I just have to take better care of myself, especially throughout this lunar year.
That's all, folks. Now I have to go back to the bed and rest up. :) It's been a long long couple of days..
Saturday, February 11, 2006
business, business, business...
Been wanting to start my own business for a while. Shopping around for ideas online led me to stumble on some pretty neat stuff. Case in point: check this operation out-- http://www.tshirtdeli.com/
The concept is, you walk in, tell them what you want made, and they'll make it for you right before your eyes, they pack it up in a nice paper bag, with a complementary bag of chips inside, then off you go! Every shirt is different, just like how you can customize sandwiches or salads in a regular deli.
The owner, some girl from Chicago even got her idea patented, to prevent copycats from even getting any cock-eyed ideas on copying her concept.
I think it's interesting. And unsurprisingly, her shirts are selling like hotcakes.
Or sandwiches, for that matter :-P
The concept is, you walk in, tell them what you want made, and they'll make it for you right before your eyes, they pack it up in a nice paper bag, with a complementary bag of chips inside, then off you go! Every shirt is different, just like how you can customize sandwiches or salads in a regular deli.
The owner, some girl from Chicago even got her idea patented, to prevent copycats from even getting any cock-eyed ideas on copying her concept.
I think it's interesting. And unsurprisingly, her shirts are selling like hotcakes.
Or sandwiches, for that matter :-P
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Saturday, February 04, 2006
love this book!
Been so stressed with work that reading this book on the side has helped me hold on to my sanity. Jemima J is nice and light but fast-paced enough to keep you interested... and keep you laughing. It's about a girl whose never really been noticed, never had a boyfriend, never been in love, come to terms with herself and feel good in her own skin, with a boy in tow or not.
A really good piece of chick lit. A nice book to relax with and have a cup of coffee over. :)
Finally, it's the weekend! Time to rest :) Thought the end of this unbelievably long week would never come. It was filled with endless meetings, discussions, computations, papers, presentations, and then more meetings, discussions, computations, papers, etc... that I felt kinda sick already last night ;) Buti nalang,the weekend rolled in. Hurrah!
On the flip side, the bosses loved my presentation last Monday. The boss of Jane even called her the next morning to ask what my level was because he thought I should get promoted already. Hehehe. For someone who's only been there for 1.5 months, that's really something to be happy about :)
A really good piece of chick lit. A nice book to relax with and have a cup of coffee over. :)
Finally, it's the weekend! Time to rest :) Thought the end of this unbelievably long week would never come. It was filled with endless meetings, discussions, computations, papers, presentations, and then more meetings, discussions, computations, papers, etc... that I felt kinda sick already last night ;) Buti nalang,the weekend rolled in. Hurrah!
On the flip side, the bosses loved my presentation last Monday. The boss of Jane even called her the next morning to ask what my level was because he thought I should get promoted already. Hehehe. For someone who's only been there for 1.5 months, that's really something to be happy about :)
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
'di ka na bata...
Sometimes I feel like a little kid playing dress-up-- waking in the morning and putting on office attire, walking along the streets of a busy city, going up the elevator of a swanky office building on my way to a cubicle an eighth of my room at home..
Tapping away at the keyboard, typing up proposals on projects and programs costing millions and millions of pesos..
Facing a board meeting to defend a project, absorbing all inputs good and bad (sometimes, getting upset over the bad inputs), dealing with office politics, at times silently taking in harsh words I used to think only my dad had the right to say to me..
Getting a paycheck every 2 weeks, going to the bank to withdraw this hard-earned money, heading to the mall and buying things with this money.. my money.. Going bankrupt more times than I’d care to.. Being more cost-conscious, having to win my own bread this time around..
I’ve been doing this for more than 3 years now but it still feels surreal at times. After being a kid for the first 20 years of my life, without having the littlest care about money, work and politics, it’s taking a while for this adult, grown-up thing to fit like second skin.
Then again, maybe it’s just a matter of time.
Hope the wrinkles don’t get the better of me before that time comes.
Or, better yet, hope the wrinkles never come. Ever.
Hehe. Wala lang. Just musing...
Tapping away at the keyboard, typing up proposals on projects and programs costing millions and millions of pesos..
Facing a board meeting to defend a project, absorbing all inputs good and bad (sometimes, getting upset over the bad inputs), dealing with office politics, at times silently taking in harsh words I used to think only my dad had the right to say to me..
Getting a paycheck every 2 weeks, going to the bank to withdraw this hard-earned money, heading to the mall and buying things with this money.. my money.. Going bankrupt more times than I’d care to.. Being more cost-conscious, having to win my own bread this time around..
I’ve been doing this for more than 3 years now but it still feels surreal at times. After being a kid for the first 20 years of my life, without having the littlest care about money, work and politics, it’s taking a while for this adult, grown-up thing to fit like second skin.
Then again, maybe it’s just a matter of time.
Hope the wrinkles don’t get the better of me before that time comes.
Or, better yet, hope the wrinkles never come. Ever.
Hehe. Wala lang. Just musing...
Monday, January 30, 2006
lights, camera, action!
Look out for my first feature interview by ABS-CBN!
Yesterday, in the midst of celebrating the New Year at the temple that my family frequents, the ABS-CBN crew came and took various shots of the temple, as well as testimonials from devotees, to use as material for an upcoming feature on the Santo Singkong temple.
And one of the people featured was yours truly! Put on the spot, I racked my brains furiously to come up with something intelligent to say. Finally, a few seconds to go before the camera was on me, I decided to just, well, speak from the heart. Religion is more of a heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul connection anyway.
My dear beau looked on, along with my family, as I embarked on my 3-minutes of fame. It was only after my turn was done when I realized: "Shet! Ang gulo ng hair ko!" Oh well. =P
In other news, one word that best described the past weekend is: BUSOG. Last night, I went to the new Hyatt hotel and had a buffet feast with my family and beau. The chocolate fountain was my favorite part. Can't remember how many times I went to and from the dessert area =P
Kung hei!
Yesterday, in the midst of celebrating the New Year at the temple that my family frequents, the ABS-CBN crew came and took various shots of the temple, as well as testimonials from devotees, to use as material for an upcoming feature on the Santo Singkong temple.
And one of the people featured was yours truly! Put on the spot, I racked my brains furiously to come up with something intelligent to say. Finally, a few seconds to go before the camera was on me, I decided to just, well, speak from the heart. Religion is more of a heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul connection anyway.
My dear beau looked on, along with my family, as I embarked on my 3-minutes of fame. It was only after my turn was done when I realized: "Shet! Ang gulo ng hair ko!" Oh well. =P
In other news, one word that best described the past weekend is: BUSOG. Last night, I went to the new Hyatt hotel and had a buffet feast with my family and beau. The chocolate fountain was my favorite part. Can't remember how many times I went to and from the dessert area =P
Kung hei!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
kung hei fat choy!
Happy Year of the Fire Dog!
It's Chinese New Year again! Indeed, time flies. Now the house is full of food once again, with lively chatter and laughs that I feel it's an extension of the recently concluded holiday celebrations.
On the aside, I went on a book-buying binge this afternoon. Hehe.. Took advantage of the 20%-off Powerbooks sale and stocked up on interesting reads. Hope I continue having the time to bundle up and read :)
Oh, and I have major presentation to the top honchos on Monday. I'm standing in for Jane, my boss, and I'll be representing our entire team in the presentation on our 2006 commitments. I found it a little funny that the newest member of the team should present the 2006 key programs, but hey, I welcome the challenge. I know Jane is counting on me, and I guess her appointing me to be the representative, despite my being the newest person around, is something to be happy and honored about.
From the looks of my slides, this is shaping up to be an IMC-esque presentation. Hmm... I hope my skills aren't too rusty =P
Wish me luck!
Kung hei again! :) May you be showered with blessings, blessings and more blessing this coming year!!
It's Chinese New Year again! Indeed, time flies. Now the house is full of food once again, with lively chatter and laughs that I feel it's an extension of the recently concluded holiday celebrations.
On the aside, I went on a book-buying binge this afternoon. Hehe.. Took advantage of the 20%-off Powerbooks sale and stocked up on interesting reads. Hope I continue having the time to bundle up and read :)
Oh, and I have major presentation to the top honchos on Monday. I'm standing in for Jane, my boss, and I'll be representing our entire team in the presentation on our 2006 commitments. I found it a little funny that the newest member of the team should present the 2006 key programs, but hey, I welcome the challenge. I know Jane is counting on me, and I guess her appointing me to be the representative, despite my being the newest person around, is something to be happy and honored about.
From the looks of my slides, this is shaping up to be an IMC-esque presentation. Hmm... I hope my skills aren't too rusty =P
Wish me luck!
Kung hei again! :) May you be showered with blessings, blessings and more blessing this coming year!!
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
....
Finally got to listen to "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam.
Now I understand why you drive slow when I'm in the car with you.
I love you!
Now I understand why you drive slow when I'm in the car with you.
I love you!
Friday, January 20, 2006
love??
When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
--Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life
If time is the best currency of love, my boss is the greatest love of my life.
Harharhar!
--Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life
If time is the best currency of love, my boss is the greatest love of my life.
Harharhar!
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
parting with my money
After being so good over the weekend and successfully keeping myself from shopping, my resolve gave way last night.
I finished early from work, since I was boss-less yesterday and had already finished all pending jobs by 6:30pm. Had to wait for my brother to finish up at his work in the ad agency, so I hiked over to the mall to walk around. Note: Key word is walk. Not shop around.
But, as I said, I failed miserably. After a short detour in Powerbooks where I didn't find the book I wanted, I proceeded to buy myself 1 new skirt, 1 new bag and 3 new tops, and finally had to restrain myself from buying 2 pairs of shoes that I found at 50% off! I could hear the justification rising up my throat "It's getting 2 shoes for the price of one!" Thankfully, my brother texted that he's done, so the damage to the wallet was curtailed. Somewhat.
I knew it-- I should never have left Powerbooks. Now I'm a little bit poorer... but a little bit more fashionable too! Hehehehe.... Despite mourning for my money, I do looooooove the stuff I bought.
=P Wala lang. This is just a-girl-being-a-girl kind of post... =P
I finished early from work, since I was boss-less yesterday and had already finished all pending jobs by 6:30pm. Had to wait for my brother to finish up at his work in the ad agency, so I hiked over to the mall to walk around. Note: Key word is walk. Not shop around.
But, as I said, I failed miserably. After a short detour in Powerbooks where I didn't find the book I wanted, I proceeded to buy myself 1 new skirt, 1 new bag and 3 new tops, and finally had to restrain myself from buying 2 pairs of shoes that I found at 50% off! I could hear the justification rising up my throat "It's getting 2 shoes for the price of one!" Thankfully, my brother texted that he's done, so the damage to the wallet was curtailed. Somewhat.
I knew it-- I should never have left Powerbooks. Now I'm a little bit poorer... but a little bit more fashionable too! Hehehehe.... Despite mourning for my money, I do looooooove the stuff I bought.
=P Wala lang. This is just a-girl-being-a-girl kind of post... =P
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)