pig-out day

I love days like today where I can just lie in bed, nap for hours and hours on end, lazily read books and magazines, watch old Sex & the City and Friends re-runs, and pig out to my heart's content. It's been a while since I've done this, and I was definitely reminded of how good it feels to just do nothing.

True, I'm probably a few calories heavier now and there are probably a ton of zits waiting to pop out under my skin, from all the chips and cookies I consumed. I think a few brain cells have committed suicide for the lack of intellectual stimulation today, and I'm also feeling a bit sluggish and lethargic from all the napping. It's been truly a day full of everything-you-shouldn't-do-if-you-don't-want-to-grow-old-and-fat. But hey, I may not want to do this everyday of my life, but once in a while, it sure does rock. Who says a girl can't take a break? :-)

La Cocina

Still on a high from my fabulous birthday weekend---

I have just decided now: I'll set aside a portion of my yearend bonus to treat my beloved beau to a romantic dinner at La Cocina de Tita Moning. For a change, ako naman ang magtetreat sa kanya to a five-star, two-thumbs-up kind of place.

It's a super-fine-dining restaurant set in an ancestral home within the vicinity of Malacanang. It's supposedly frequented a lot by Pres. GMA... Not that I put premium on what she thinks, but hey, it's interesting to note.

More details here in case you want to know more: http://www.lacocinadetitamoning.com/

You will see if you look at the menu listings that the dishes there are ordered in sets or in full courses.. and they are not very shy to reflect the skyrocketing costs of each menu. Obviously, it's for a special occasion. ... Or for a special person, whichever the case may be.

Great, now I have a reason to save and not spend my money on the trinity of clothes/bags/shoes... (wink wink) Lord please give me the willpower to see this through.

:)

birthday weekend

Had the most perfect, perfect, perfect birthday!

The eve of the big day was spent with my darling FILC girls and their respective mates. Except for Anna, that is, because she suddenly got these strange red spots all over her body, which later on turned out to be measles (Get well soon, Anna! Let us know when we can visit!) The evening was full of good conversation and lots of laughs. It was so good to see the guys getting along very well. :)

The main day kicked off to a good start with a phone convo with my bestest friend. Despite the challenges facing her daily life, Li still took time to greet me and to spare a few minutes of precious free time to have a little birthday chat. I miss her no less after the talk and I know nothing beats physical togetherness, but still, it felt really good to hear her voice on my birthday..

Presents abound from all corners, of course-- But by far the best present of all came from Dennis, who gifted me with a beautiful exquisite Swarovski crystal necklace ---


Nothing has ever hung prettier on my neck :)

Wrapped up the evening with a quiet dinner for two and a kick-ass movie. (Watch The Prestige when you can. You won't be disappointed!).

Today, on the other hand, was spent at the temple and with my family. As usual, I'm as full as ever from the enormous dinner feast we had :)

Thank you so much for the gift, babe, I looooooove it! You're the best boyfriend ever!

hmmm.....

Today got me thinking again--

I know I have a future in the corporate world in the sense that I know I can survive (and most probably thrive) in it for most of my productive years. I know that I have enough skills to really last here and make my living out of making companies more profitable... I can probably stay here for a good 10 or 20 years and retire with a hefty pension.. There is stress, for sure, and pressure to make the numbers, but the risk is contained within the company. I will never have to worry about where the business is headed, where to get more investors, who among my children will succeed me, etc. I can enjoy all 15 of my vacation days, and I can live through my weekends in peace.

On the other hand, my brother broached the topic again today of setting up my own business.... It may not make the billions and billions of revenues that my present company makes but at least it's my own.. It's my own labor of love, and it will allow me to take more control of my time and my resources. True, it entails more risk and more worries and pressure, but at least, at the end of the day (or decade), I have a legacy to pass on.. If you gotta be stressed anyway, might as well be stressed over something that's yours, as opposed to getting worried over the revenues of a company who might redundate you once you become too expensive.

Ay ewan!

the stuff ain't old.. they're CLASSIC...

In spite of the holiday tomorrow, I didn't feel like going out tonight coz I'm still getting over the weekend. Feel like we filled it with too many things.. My body is still aching from all the walking and walking and... you get my drift... My beau feels the way too, so I think I have a valid point..

Anyway, spent a good portion of this evening looking through old stuff.. That is, apart from watching MSKM (Don't get what that means? Don't worry, it's a code only the super cool people alive understand).

By "old stuff", I don't mean ancient stuff hiding in my closet or stuffed under the bed. I mean "soft copy" stuff-- i.e. emails, files, documents in my aging, hanging-in-there-with-age laptop, written or created many many months or years ago... that I still find so meaningful to this day.

They're not meaningful as in tear-jerking stuff. They're meaningful in a that's-so-classic-of-me (or insert loved one/friend's name here). They're frozen in time, only relevant in that span of time it transpired, but still convey as much punch tonight as they did then. It's so cool to go back to old conversations, copies of old YM conference trails, files of old emails and notes that paint a perfectly faithful picture of instances in the past that are so much fun to wist over now. I love it!

Much like how tangible gifts or items can bring back such vivid memories of the past, so can their not-so-tangible, soft-copy versions. These are definitely stuff to cherish, for they are not "old" nor "worthless". They're classic.

Favorite line in a certain email shared with me by a friend -->
We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. So find a partner who will honor that and cherish the fact that you're the kind of person who knows who she is and refuses to live life any other way.

=)

I wonder how it feels...

to feel like the world is your oyster? To grow up never having a reason to think otherwise?

I was chatting with my friend K earlier this morning.. She talked about settling into her new life in Harvard Business School.. furnishing her brand-new apartment, organizing a block get-together for her new classmates, shopping for fall and winter clothes, preparing for her first Christmas in her new home, excitedly going on and on about her new classes, her casebooks, her new schoolmates... her new world... She even showed me some pictures online, but they were not necessary to help me get a picture of the spanking new, spanking cool life she's effortlessly stepped into.

Hay... My friend K... whose freedom and the resources I've always envied ever since we were little tots. The sheer lack of anything to tie her down, the lack of worries on how to afford it all, the lack of accountabilities for being the big financial overhead she's been to her parents all this time... it's such a precious privilege-- and a privilege she's had all her life. She embarks on various adventures and experiences with that characteristic carefree outlook of hers. She lives life to the hilt-- in fact, living it up has been the only way she's ever lived.

I'm sure anyone else would love to be like that. To always feel on top of the world and have all its possibilities at the tips of your fingers. To feel like anything is possible, that the entire world is up for your taking, that you can make dreams come true at will... That you can be anyone you want to be, when you want to be.

I envy her for the rich experiences she's had in her young 24 years of life. At this young age, she's already seen three-fourths of the world. I envy the opportunities she's been presented with by her parents, who demand nothing and give everything. Sometimes I fear she's grown up carrying a false impression of the world and of life, that she thinks everything is so easy to get and so easy to let go of, that everything and everyone will always be available to her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That when a day comes that her parents can no longer be there for her, someone else will step up and fill their shoes. That she'll never be left wanting, or wishing, or needing. I hope that day never comes, but it sure is going to be a cold awakening. When you've been built up so high and you've been configured to expect the sky's the limit, the crash down is going to be a hard hard fall.

I love her with all my heart, and I truly truly hope this day never comes. Because always feeling like the world's your oyster has got to be the best feeling in the world. And all my friends deserve that. :)

Have a blast in HBS, K!

FILC + boys :)

Had a blast of a Saturday. After a full day implementing a TV launch and a full late-afternoon judging an IMC presentation, I wound down my tired brain with a good dinner and a few drinks with my FILC girls and our S.O.s (plus one British guy). This is the first time we set up plans that included the boys....

The funny thing with that evening, though, was that the four of us didn't really spend as much time catching up with each other and talking as we did checking out how the boys were doing and getting all giddy over the fact that they got along well. Hahaha! It was a riot! Hahaha!

But it was cute to realize how much it really mattered for us to see our boys getting along well and enjoying each other's company. For a first get-together of the 4 of them, it was a smashing success. Dennis doesn't usually warm up to people until, like, the 3rd or so meeting.. but that night, he was on a roll! I was so surprised to see him joking around and laughing with guys he met for the first time that night (well, except for Rap, who's like a regular gym buddy to him now, haha!) The boys totally didn't disappoint! How cool! :-)

lori + gladys = spending money

To maximize the remaining days of Loraine being my officemate, we played hooky this lunchtime and hiked off to Rockwell for a good 2.5 hours just walking around, eating and.. of course.. shopping.

That is, apart from the fact that I had bought a pair of sandals from her earlier that morning-->



Ikaw.. Nadali mo na naman ako-->



And so a number of bills vacated their short-lived spots in my wallet yet again... Hahaha! Oh well... My rationale is: I won't get to see Loraine everyday anymore pretty soon.. so might as well get a few souvenirs to remember the last days by...

YEAH RIGHT! What a load of B.S. Hahaha!

here we go again....

the jologs part of me only comes out when this happens...

JL has another soap out! YEAH!

After insisting to my boyfriend the other day that we MUST be at home by the time 9:30pm rolls in, because it's the premiere of Maging Sino Ka Man, I was soooo not disappointed. It may very well have no relation to the story, to the production, to the other actors.. but the very fact that my most favorite actor is there... that's enough for me. I was totally unfit for any kind of human interaction all throughout the show-- you could be talking to me, screaming into my eardrums... I wouldn't mind you. My eyes were transfixed onto the screen until the credits rolled.

Haha! This all sounds so pathetic!

But what can I say... I'm addicted. I love JL!

For all you closet jologs out there, you can check out Maging Sino Ka Man via---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNILibA2o0w

citi gals!!

Met up with my Citi gals last night to say so long and farewell to our little Baby Bay. As usual, the night was full of laughs, of jokes, of stories and of little anecdotes about Citi and beyond. Though there was a tinge of sadness at the thought of one of us leaving, the night was still lots of fun. Nothing less usually happens when I'm with this round of friends. Especially now that Dang-dang has a little baby Anton! Welcome to the world! :)

Of course, now that she's no longer preggy, Dang sure made up for 9 months worth of alcohol abstinence that night. Hahahaha!

To Baby Bay: good luck, and may your best life await you as you return to Sing. Love you, girl!

I’m back!

Back from the sunny beachy paradise called Honolulu!

But before I get to that, can I just say that… there’s no better way to travel than via business class. Granted, it costs double a seat in coach, but heck, it’s worth every penny. Not only do you get express lane when checking in and when boarding, the food is great, the drinks unlimited, the movies all-you-can-watch, and the seats are as good as my lazy boy back home. No annoying crying babies here, mind you (my ultimate pet peeve when traveling), and you can practically dance and do cartwheels with all that legroom. (Sigh)… One of the best things about traveling for work is really the company policy that all international travel going for 5 hours or more automatically entitles you to a business class seat. After several work trips out of the country, I don’t know how I’ll ever go back to economy now. :-p

Anyway, so I landed in Honolulu, and discovered, to my pleasant surprise, that the secretary mistakenly booked my trip two days before the actual conference starts. That means I had two full days of total freedom in Honolulu-- free to do as I please, free to tour and to gallivant to my heart’s content. So off I went, of course, to do some shopping!! :-)

Though I didn’t have as much cash as I would’ve wanted, and though the sales were not as many as I expected, I still managed to make a decent haul. Thank God for Ala Moana Shopping Center and the outlet stores outside of town. Got a Dooney bag on 30% sale as well as a nice black beaded dress originally tagged $250 and marked down to $99. Managed to also get some pasalubong shopping done, too.

The beach was next. It’s true what they say that nothing can ever compare to the sands of Boracay. Even Hawaii’s famed beaches were no match. The only thing, I think, that they have going for them is the cleanliness. Cops are everywhere and ever-so-watchful to make sure you don’t litter. No cigarette butts here lying around in the sand, buddy, and no random candy bar wrapper washing up to you as you swim.

Met lots of Pinoys there too. Well, figures.. since about 35% of the total population there is Filipino. Met a lot of them who see Hawaii as their homeland now, and only look back at the Philippines on a once-upon-a-time basis.. That’s sad, I think.. To water down your own history and to relegate your mother country to an almost non-existent status..That’s just really sad.

I could understand though why they chose to stay and to become immigrants/citizens. Life is so much more peaceful, so much more organized, so much more.. maayos. The systems all work for you—the healthcare system, the banking/credit system, the government systems, etc. Your work always leads to the fulfillment of basic needs and to the enjoyment of life’s little pleasures. I met a restaurant hostess there who’s 2 years younger than me, who was earning $14 an hour and has already managed to buy her own car (paid completely already), can live on her own and can support herself fully. I also met another lady who, at 30, was able to fully pay for her own home and lot. That’s virtually impossible in Manila unless you come from a well-off family, or you got a big inheritance, or you work for the government (hehehe).. It’ll take you, what, 10 or 20 years to pay off a house and lot. It’s because we don’t have a robust banking and credit system here. Nor do we have a good social welfare system. In the US, you can get unemployment insurance which will pay you the monthly salary you enjoyed when employed, for a maximum period of 6 months upon losing your job. In Manila, if you lose your job or your source of livelihood, that’s it. You fend for yourself. The government isn’t going to be of help at all. Heck, our SSS system is about to go bankrupt.

So there… Add those insights to some rather-boring work stuff that thankfully finished much sooner than I hoped, some nights out on nice bars... A fruitful trip, wouldn’t you say? :-p

OK, back to reality, back to work. The good news is, seems like I may have a chance to go back to Hawaii early next year.

But before I get excited about that, I must first work with the situation at hand. Seems like a trip to the Middle East is in my immediate future. AFRAID!

one trip down, another one to go

Just got back from a pilgrimage in China. For some reason, even if my family goes every year, I get amazed each time I land on that oriental piece of soil. As this province we went to is as rural as rural can possibly get, the city gal in me just can't help but get disoriented everytime.

I imagine, what if my grandpa didn't make it out of China? I would've grown up in that place, had grown up as unrefined and "in the rough" as all the other girls there.... I would think a clean comfort room is an impossibility and that releasing one's mucus onto the street is as normal as anything. I would think shaving under my arms is a strange thing to do and I would think screaming is the normal way of conversing with people.

It's strange-- I grew up being told that I'm Chinese-- who happens to be born in the Philippines. Granted, my Chinese upbringing has pretty much dictated the way I'm wired-- I find more comfort in Chinese medicine, prefer Chinese food to anything else, go pretty much with the Chinese way of thinking... Just like anyone who prefers to stick to the familiar, I spent my first 16 years of life being at ease with Chinese people and Chinese people only.

However, my college years adjusted that. I learned to associate with the non-Chinese, embrace other cultures apart from my own and find beauty in the unfamiliar. Someone once told me, don't you feel like you're really Filipino-- who just happens to be born into a Chinese family?

After some thought, I came to a conclusion. Why does it have to be one or the other? Why does one have to be the overall definition of who I am, and the other cast aside as a mere incidental, as a small coincidence? When, really, both cultures-- Filipino and Chinese-- make up the person I am today. It's these two parts that make up the whole that is me. Granted, there are times (most of the time, actually) that I feel more Chinese than Filipino, but if I were to be really honest, there are also times when the Filipino in me overrides the Chinese too. Who says these two things have to be mutually exclusive anyway? If they were, I'd be a very confused individual right now :P

Oh, on a small note: Seems like I have premature arthritis. It came as a shocker to me, because I always thought the big A was something that afflicted the elderly. But, oh well, the doc gave me some pills to take and told me to give a status report when I get back from Honolulu. Oh well.

OK, this oldie is signing off na! Time to cram in as much work as can possibly be done today, because I'm off to Hawaii tomorrow! :)

filc days again?! :)

It's nice to hope that there will come a time when FILC days can be replicated.... here naman in my current place of work. It would be nice to have my girls here working at the same place I do... This place can then feel more like home and like a safe haven... :)

Maybe one day, who knows...

a house of cards

We spent the entire weekend talking about this idea of going-away.. of his going-away... of his going somewhere far away from me, where his luck might be lying, waiting for him... of him going and taking that luck as far as it brings him, then coming home to get me so we can have the life we envisioned together... He talked about sacrifice, about the idea of foregoing the present so we can have a good future...

I had so many mixed feelings about it, I can't even begin to start detailing the why's and the why not's. I don't want to stand in the way of a potentially bright future, especially of someone whom I care so much.. and someone whom I know deserves it more than anyone else in this world. Yet, how can I ever stand going day after day without you here with me? How do I go about my daily life and fill the void you will inevitably cause... and how on earth will I ever stop myself from feeling like you left me here... like you left me behind.... and hold on to the promise that you will come back for me?

It's still an idea far far away in the future.. at least I hope so. I know this kind of thing takes a long time to get done, and I sure hope that the process stays that way. Because until I've figured out how to get used to walking down life's road without you beside me, I pray you never let go of my hand. I pray you never have to leave until I'm ready to see you go. A moment too soon and I'm afraid I'll fall apart like a house of cards.

my lucky's

For some reason, I have such an addiction for Lucky magazines. Ever since the first time I went through one while getting a foot spa, I loved Lucky mags. Every new issue is packed full of clothes, shoes, bags and everything shopping-related... and even if most (if not all) of the stuff is beyond my reach (both in terms of affordability and availability), I can't help but get excited everytime I crank open a brand new issue. My eyes gloss over and get all glittery with all the eye candy inside---



What can I say... when you love it, you love it :P

hawaiiiiiiiii!!!!

One of the perks of this job is the travel... Oh, I looooove travelling! :P

And 2 weeks from now, this job takes me to.... HAWAII! A week of glorious glorious Hawaiian sun. Who cares if I'm supposed to be there to attend a convention?! There's always time to sneak in a few sunshine rays and/or a shopping trip here and there....

Super cool! I'm so excited! Can barely wait....

Is it, is it??

Sometimes I don't know if I'm asking for too much.. Or if I'm asking for it all too soon... Maybe everything really happens in due time, if at all they're meant to happen. Maybe the more you're searching for something, the more you can't find it. Maybe you should just sit still, and somehow, good things will come and find you instead.

People have been known to surpass the odds and go beyond the initial cards life deals them.

Yet again, people have also been known to disappoint. Horribly and heartbreakingly.

I don't know.

online window-shopping

Recently discovered this blog, and I love it! It's so full of gorgeous & interesting bags that I often turn to it whenever I feel a shopping urge which MUST be contained. Hehehehe.

Check it out: http://www.purseuing.com

......

My ultimate fear and what would be the greatest failure in my life is being unworthy of you. You're offering me your everything, yet I don't know why it doesn't seem to be enough for me. I don't know why I feel this way, but I'd rather sound cruel than be a liar.

I'm scared to death to find out that, in the end, this beautiful thing we have will die not because of what you don't have, but what I can't give. Contrary to what you think, it's my own limitations, my own weaknesses and my own cowardice that's keeping us apart this way.

How's that possible-- I know I can't lose you, yet I don't know how to keep you. Maybe my problem really stems from focusing on what I'll lose, rather than on what I'll be gaining at its cost.

Postscript: When all in the world seems to look wrong and you feel like your insides are being torn up to shreds and you dread looking at yourself in the mirror in case you'll see someone you never wanted to end up being, it sure does feel good to have real friends you can depend on, who will take the time to listen to your ramblings, despite running only on a couple hours' sleep, and who will not judge you, no matter how despicably you judge yourself. It may not solve the problem or take your troubles away, but it sure does make you feel less alone. Especially on days when you feel so damn crappy, you can barely keep your head above water. Thanks, friends, your support is my lifeline.

teaching assistant

In a twist of life, I've somehow found myself in a weird position. For 2nd sem of SY 2006-2007, yours truly shall be the teaching assistant of Mr. Bong Mojica, who will teach the class Brand Management to UA&P IMC seniors, who incidentally also happens to be my boss here at SMART.

Ultimately, it's a non-paying job that will expose me to additional hours with my boss outside of the work setting. Great. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing... :P