frenemies

Is it normal to have a friend rub you the wrong way or get on your nerves so many times over a period of a few days?

Hehehe.

A love entry for my room

OK, three weeks to go til the big day! I realized a few days ago that one of the biggest things I'll miss after I get married is my room. I think it's the best symbol for my single life - it bore witness to those late-nights of studying for classes, movie marathons and hours and hours on the phone with Dennis. It houses all of my (precious and not-so-precious) possessions, and things that I have to show for my almost 7 years of working. It's my "safe place" for the past 27 years of my life, and it's where I go to unwind and relax and just "be" after a long day. I'll miss the routine I have every morning after waking up and every night before going to bed. I'll miss the silence and the occasional noise created when one of my brothers or parents burst into the room with some piece of news or kuwento to share. I'll miss all those times I had this room all to myself, because 24 days from today, I won't have a room all to myself anymore.

If I could just hug my room, I would. :p Hehehe.

Home Stretch!!!

I know we've been engaged for more than a year, but it's like I blinked and suddenly, we're one month away from the BIG DAY! OMG!

Glad to report though that most of our action items have been accomplished already:
- Condo just needs to have furniture delivered by Sept 8 and then we're complete.
- All big items in the wedding preps are done. Invites are also given out already. Just need to :
(1) Create and finalize seating chart (2) Print misalettes & menu cards (3) Have final fitting (4) Meet Li and Karen when they come home and go to fittings with them (5) Buy bible (haha I almost forgot about this item)

- Dowry stuff is more or less ready. Just needs to be wrapped.

I'm pretty proud of myself. Definitely NO 3-week panic.

Can't wait for 9/19! :)

Project Home Wrap-up!

Glad to report that Project Home is now 99% done! Save for : (1) delivery of maid's room bed and cabinet ; (2) replacement of insect screen of guest room ; (3) overall general cleaning of the condo, we are done! Yahooooo!!!! It's such a great feeling and an overwhelming sense of accomplishment - to know what we started with and see how far we've come! I also learned so many lessons along the way, which made for good practice for the time in the future when we'll build our house.

1. Cheap is good but ain't always the best way to go, especially with people : We've been blessed with a good contractor- someone who's honest, straightforward and very easy to talk to. She not only takes the time to explain details to me, she also makes it a point that we work within the budget we have yet still get the best options available. She also has "malasakit" which is 100% important when you're doing anything construction-related. Since we're not experts in this field, having a contractor that genuinely wants your place to be as good as it can be is probably the most critical factor.

2. I am proud to say that I know so much more about construction that I did coming into this project. I now know how waterproofing works, what kind of tiles work best, how bathroom fixtures are installed, how lighting should be distributed, etc. We also learned the hard way that there are many possible materials to use for furniture and not all are of good-quality, even if they may appear to be so. Lessons learned.

3. You can't go wrong with classic. If in doubt, go for simpler or plainer designs. You won't regret it. Just like with fashion, I guess. Coz you have to live with your place every day, all day, so make sure you won't get sick of that design or that color scheme :)

That's it for now. I'm so happy with how Project Home turned out. And let me take this chance to say a huge THANK YOU to You Up There for showering us with the means to put together this project and make it happen. I'm also so proud of us for having pulled this off on our own. We did have a bit of help here and there from our parents but the bulk of it is off of our blood, sweat and tears, and while we're coming out of this definitely poorer (and with credit breathing down our backs), I'm so proud of this home that we can proudly call ours. OURS. You and me.

Hope I can post pics sometime. Let's see, where's my camera??? :p

it's really happening!!!

Holy crap, the invites are here, and my first reaction: OMG the wedding is really happening!!! :)

Hahaha! I know it may sound weird, but it was unexpectedly one of my biggest kilig moments throughout this planning process. Apart from the dress fittings, this is one of those rare times when the wedding seemed so "real". The other stuff just seems like normal planning moments for something "in the future" or "far off".. The invites arriving today in two huge-ass boxes just made it solidly real.

It's really happening! As Dennis frequently says, I can't wait to get married. To you. :)

tradition shmadition....

Most days, I love my culture and all its richness, but today is not one of them. I was just informed that, in order to maximize and preserve the "good luck" that we'll receive as a newly married couple, after the wedding, I am NOT to wear black AT ALL for a significant period. Like six months.

WHAT?!

D ko gets.

Hay.

Realization

I had an epiphany today- It's usual perception that the toughest part of the marriage vows to adhere to is one of these three: (1) "for better or for worse" - because life does have its healthy (and sometimes unhealthy) share of difficulties, and sometimes it's far too tempting to walk out and go ; (2) "for richer or for poorer" - more or less same reasons as (1) ; (3) the fidelity clause - also self-explanatory

I realized today another part of the marriage vows that may not be as much of a deal-breaker as the first three I mentioned, nor does it seem to be that big of a deal because it sounds so mundane and a bit obvious. But I think it's the one part in the marriage bond that will probably be challenged the most often and hence deserves attention too. While it may not be devastating in huge, earth-shattering, marriage-threatening ways, I think it's just as difficult to overcome. Major loads of maturity are needed, if you want to stay sane. And stay married.

This such part is where you vow to love the ones that he loves, on the day you agree to become his wife and swear in front of God and all your loved ones that you will be together forever and ever. It's a promise that can easily escape your lips, again because it sounds so obvious and hence so easy (oh how naive you are, dear bride!). After all, his family is good to you and they approve of your marriage. He loves them, and hence how hard could it be to love them too?

Suffice it to say that I've had a fair look at the challenges that can rock this particular corner of the matrinomial vow. It's not as easy, in fact it's probably one of the biggest and hardest adjustments to make. You can bounce back from a fight with your own mother, because she gave you life and can forgive you for anything and everything. Someone else's mother though, even if she happens to be your husband's mother, is an entirely different story. Whether you annoy her or she annoys you, the loser in the battle ends up being your husband. It's rarely about who's right and who's wrong, mind you. Almost all of the time, it's about two different upbringings, two different queens and two different emotional states. So declaring a clear winner in such battles is rather gray. But what's crystal clear is the suffering husband in the middle.

So, I lectured myself today on this particular issue and told myself that, for as long as the matter at hand is not that of life and death, or anything concerning children, values, religion, and deeply personal parts of our lives, I will let these "difficulties" roll off my back and focus on what's critically important - that I have a peaceful relationship with my in-laws and that my (soon-to-be) husband can sleep soundly at night. In Tagalog, kung hindi ko naman ikamamatay yung ipinaglalaban ko, wag nalang ilaban. Choose your battles carefully, because there are battles you need to lose, so you will win the war. And mind you, by "war", I honestly don't refer to my mother in law. Hahaha!

Another point I'd like to make: I believe in karma. I know that my family, with all their virtues, is far from perfect and in the future, two daughters-in-law would also have to "pakisama" with them. I would hope and wish that these two girls would also extend to my family a rich amount of patience, understanding and love. Because I'll be leaving my family behind soon. I'd want these two girls to care for them as if they were their own blood and flesh. To do that, I'd have to "plant" seeds of karma now. How can I expect from others what I cannot ask of myself?

Lastly, at the end of the day, I love him. And part of that love is loving those he loves. Maybe at the start, I'm loving them because he loves them. But hopefully, as we go through life together as family, I'll grow to love them without needing any other reason.

:)

iffy

If you didn't buy the place and didn't spend much on its renovation and furnishing, would you feel it's okay to be the first one to spend the night there and use the facilities, appliances and furniture?

I'm so iffy about this whole thing, but I'm just trying to be patient, for fear of being OA and being perceived as "territorial" or "selfish". But truly, I find the whole idea very strange and kind of offensive. Maybe they feel it's their son's place too, ergo they have as much right as him to spend the night. I really don't know. I don't understand this kind of logic, so I guess I really shouldn't see it from their point of view.

Ugh.

yet another checkpoint and... a baby!

OK, tomorrow is the last day of the month so I thought I'd do a recap of my almost-accomplishments and see what I can tick off my list:
1. Invites: Finally, after some headache with our supplier (Hay, sometimes this is the hidden cost you pay with "cheap" suppliers), finally, our invitations are ready for printing! We should be getting the first batch next Wednesday! Isn't that so cool? To say I'm excited is an understatement, definitely.

2. Marriage banns have been posted, and we now have all our requirements! Just need to turn them over to our planner and we're done! :)

3. Prenup and trial makeup/hair : CHECK!

4. Invitations list: Semi-check, because we still don't have my mother in law's list. Hay. Oh well. Small glitch.

5. Shoes: CHECK! They're now sitting comfortably in Richie's atelier and are ripe for embellishment. Another point of excitement for me. I can try them on again when I have my 3rd fitting next week!

On top of the above, we've made the hotel reservations for the night before and night after the wedding. I've also collated the addresses for the invites and I've also finished off the neckties and gifts we need. We already have all the suppliers we need, and our misalette has been approved already by our officiating priest!

All in all, July has been a fruitful month. August should now just be a month of finalizing, readying the balance payments and getting final fittings! :) This bride feels rather accomplished :) Hehehe.

Oh, and the highlight of this month is the birth of my soon-to-be first-ever goddaughter - Tala! She's the cutest ever, and is such a goooood baby girl, not giving her mommy and daddy a hard time. Welcome to the world, Baby Tala! Can't wait to see you again! :)

Gadget love!

OK, I know I registered for a travel steamer in Rustan's, so if someone got me that as a wedding gift, I wouldn't complain. But if I don't get it through the registry, I just might buy this one because it seems to perform better than the brand that Rustan's carries --

Innotec handheld steamer

http://www.shopcrazy.com.ph/2010/07/gadget-love-innotec-handheld-steamer/#more-9475

:)

Not now. Thanks but no thanks :)

So, just when I'm definitely not thinking about exploring other career opportunities, that's when options come knocking on my door. While there was one recent call that I was unable to turn down, I still stand quite firm on my stand that I'd really rather stay where I am. There will be some big adjustments to be made in the personal side of my life in the coming months, and I don't particularly feel like adding a professional adjustment to my list. I also can't wait to live out my lifelong desire to finally live *nearby*. So, for now, stay put. :)

Almost-accomplishments

A few days to go and I can tick off some items off my list and add them to the "accomplished" pile:
1. Invites: We received the sample already and made a last pass of revisions. HOPEFULLY it's the final set of comments already and we can finally start production next week. This means we'll have the invites before the month ends! Please, Lord! Konti nalang :)

2. Wedding requirements: Next Sunday is the last of the 3 banns we have to post at the Binondo church, and after that, we would have finished all the church req'ts already!

3. Our prenup pictorial is also scheduled next week- at the same date as my trial makeup. Once those are done, they're 2 more things to tick off the list!

4. Dennis and my guest lists have already been translated into invitation lists. The next step is to add addresses so the transport of the invites can be arranged. After this step too, we'll have to fix the seating chart but that's not until end-August or early Sept.

5. My bridal shoes have been fitted and save for a few minor changes, they're all ready for embellishment!

Hay, when you're a bride, life becomes just one big checklist of things to do and things to accomplish. I must say though, the control freak in me feels mighty proud when things get ticked off the list, esp if they're done so way ahead of time. My planner was telling me yesterday that she's very pleased with me, because even before she has to remind me about a wedding item, I'm a few steps ahead of her and would've already emailed, texted or sent her a document already. What can I say, when you're OC, there's simply no other way to do things :p

blackout!

I didn't know we can last this long without power. At the time of this writing, our house has been power-less for about 36 hours already...and counting. Huhuhu. I'll never take electricity for granted again!

I also realized the vulnerability of condos at a blackout. A friend was thrown out of his place last night because, due to lack of power for more than 24 hours, the building's genset finally died and no elevator service was possible. Scary! Imagine being stranded and forced to be a refugee when you have a perfectly good home, just floors above the ground. Hay. Must make contingency plans when we live in our condo already :s

major ACTION ITEM

for this month is: Invitations!!

Lord, please help me finalize the invitation draft and get the final list of addressees. Yon lang po. Thank you.

:)

Project Home Checkpoint

Went to visit the condo today and I think we're making good progress. The wood flooring is being sanded down now, and the paint work is 80% done. Electrical work is all laid out and the waterproofing is done. Tiling is about 50% done with the kitchen and master's bath to be finished within the next few days. The doors and doorways also look perfect- precisely what I wanted!

A cool thing about our condo is the little free things that we get here and there from well-meaning and generous uncles. We got free cabinet handles, door knobs and door locks from his uncle, as well as free outlet covers and switch plates from mine. We also got a good deal on lights because of another uncle. I love it! :p

I also understand now what they say about a house being a budget waiting to bust :p I encountered some more unexpected items that need to be paid for, that were not part of the original estimate. They are important things though, definitely cannot be missed out on, so I just handed over a check without complaint. It just taught me that when it comes to anything real-estate related, you really need a buffer budget, because it's inevitable that you would need some additional materials or replacement items or even added labor that wasn't part of the work scope initially planned for. And you wouldn't want to run out of money midway, because that will be an even bigger problem.

Bottomline, Project Home is going very well. And making good time too. It's set to be done in the next 3 weeks. This weekend, we need to buy some cabinetry already, which we need them to install next week. The shower heaters will also be installed next week. I'm excited! It's all coming together :) :) :)

Song and Invites: Semi-check

I think I've found my bridal march! After having some interesting contenders (including a waltz that I still really really love), I think I found it tonight. Serendipitously too, I may add. It's a song that's been in my ipod for the longest time, and I don't know why I didn't think of it. Then tonight, when I put my ipod on shuffle, I stumbed upon it and voila! Lightbulb moment! I just hope Da Capo can perform it :)

Invites are also a semi-check, because we have the FA already and is now up for sample-printing. I hope to receive and approve the sample in the next week or so, so we can get that out of the way already. Just have to finalize the guest names now, so we can turn them over later on for printing on the envelopes :)

That's it. Bride signing off for now :)

WEDDING LICENSE: Check!

So off we went today to the Manila City Hall to get our wedding license. I was prepared for a long wait, with matching sticky heat and having to bear with bureaucratic processes. After all, I've only seen the Manila City Hall from outside, and it certainly didn't look like an efficient place to me.

So imagine my (pleasant) surprise when I discovered that it's actually very organized inside, and people were friendly and accommodating. True, the fact that Dennis is a lawyer and is a familiar face inside the city hall by this time, with all his hearings there, certainly helped. But I also think that the overall process is really relatively painless. In less than an hour of being inside the place, we were all done! Our license will come out in 10 days!

Our planner also took care of submitting our docs to the church and getting the permission slip to be able to get wedding banns issued at our Binondo parish. After that, we just have to get our license picked up at the city hall by Dennis' messenger, and we're all set, legally speaking, to get married. YEHEY! :)

CEFAM: Big fat check!!!!

We're sooooo glad that CEFAM is finally off our list of things to do for the wedding preparations. Granted, there were some parts that were helpful but on the overall, we were (1) sleepy because of the early hour and the fact that ADMU is an hour away from our homes ; (2) kinda annoyed by some annoying personalities who joined us in the CEFAM sessions ; (3) bored by some of the segments of the seminar ; (4) tired afterwards but had to brave the rains and floods caused by late-afternoon rains.

The highlight or best part of the seminar were our sessions with the counselor, because not only was she very open, helpful, easy-to-talk-to and very insightful in her questioning, we also felt that it was the time when our particular setups and life situations were discussed and hence the topics at hand were the most relevant. We had already talked about most of the pre-marriage topics anyway, so it was a breeze to go through, but we were glad to get affirmation on things that we had previously discussed. And it was nice to see and hear another person's perspective on our lives, particularly since there are things in our lives that I feel we may take for granted or have already forgotten. It was good to have a fresh take on things, and an objective one at that.

So net takeaway, I think the church should just change pre-marriage seminar to pre-marriage counseling. I feel the topics discussed at the lectures were vague and didn't really appeal to the audience. Might as well go right to the heart of the people's lives and give them advice accordingly.

That's just me :P

I'm just glad we got that over with and we can now proceed to schedule when we'll head to the Manila City Hall to get our license done! :) Yahooooo!!!!

I really like....

this thing I found online--

Ceylon Pitcher

Lately, I've been more into looking at stuff for the house more than shoes, clothes and bags. This one looks so cool, you can flavor water w/o having annoying bits of mint or lemon mixed into it. Love it!!!

103 days to go!

It's like I winked and now, I'm 13 weekends away from my wedding. I'm busy for the upcoming 3 (gonna be in HK this weekend, then CEFAM next weekend, then Kayers' baby shower the weekend after that), and then, June is over. This leaves me with 10 weekends to plan everything else that needs to be done for the wedding. I have a count of the days to go before the big day, but I have to remind myself from time to time to only count the weekends, because really, that's the time reserved to do wedding planning stuff. The rest of the week (which is really the 5 other days that not part of the weekend) is pretty booked for work and the condo-related items. With budget planning season coming up at Smart, I expect work to be extra hectic in the next few weeks. And, beside the fact that I pretty much have no other choice but to put in the required hours at work, it's really not my work style (nor my work ethic) to give in less than what's expected of me. I don't think it's right nor fair, for a company that's been way too generous to me the past couple of years.

So with that said, I'm now researching what shoes to finally decide on, so I can ready it for my Solea visit. :p Time is ticking!!!