Can I just make a small confession?
A big part of why I strongly believe we will eventually get pregnant and have a baby is because of my husband. This loving, patient and caring person MUST become a father. The child that would have the honor of calling him father would be the luckiest baby ever born.
That's all. Happy Friday!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Karma
Part and parcel of our religion is the concept of Karma - the belief that the universe is composed of energy - always equal and opposite of each other - and what you give off will be what you will receive, in a boomerang fashion that may not involve this current lifetime but the next. Makakarma ka din, (excuse my French) tang-inang scamera ka. You may think that what you got is so big and so valuable that it's worth the repurcussions, but karma doesn't work that way. You'll get what you truly deserve, in this life or in the afterlife - whether you get it directly or your descendants do.
I hate it when evil people hurt the ones I love. Makakarma ka din, bitch.
I hate it when evil people hurt the ones I love. Makakarma ka din, bitch.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Bangkok trip :)
We're back from Bangkok! 5 days of intense heat, lots of walking and lots of eating! I'm happy to report that even if my husband is totally averse to hot weather anywhere, he had fun in Bangkok :) Yay!
Some highlights:
1. We went on a temple hop around Bangkok, and I finally got to see the Emerald Buddha (a misnomer because the Buddha statue inside is actually made of jade. People then didn't have a sophisticated understanding of stones and anything green was just called an emerald). I love love love the Emerald Buddha. It simply took my breath away. Photo-taking wasn't allowed inside. You can only take shots through an open pillar in front of the temple, but even then your camera will only be able to capture the Buddha in a golden sort of light, not in its jade glory. I loved it, as I said, not only because it's so majestic and beautiful, but more because I felt such a sense of peace and an unexplained happiness when I was sitting inside the temple and just gazing at it. I read about it before the trip and had been wanting to see it more than any other sight in Bangkok, and I'm so happy we did!
2. We also got to see the Grand Palace - where the king used to hold office and where he still maintains private quarters. It's the size of 2 football fields!
3. On our way back, we found ourselves in the middle of a royal-family procession (well, they were really just going back to the palace from someplace else). Good thing we had a guide too, because otherwise, we wouldn't have known that we were supposed to stop walking and just stand in attention. I also wouldn't have known that I wasn't supposed to keep holding up my umbrella, as it can be misconstrued as a weapon! I would've been arrested :p Hehehe. It was cool to witness that whole thing. Thai royal police keep close surveillance of the street and they stop traffic to make sure the road is completely cleared. The convoy that was used to "transport" the royals was also done really impressively - makes me think that Pinoys have it all wrong and un-professional. Hehe.
4. We also went to Ayutthaya and saw the ruined temples. The last one was my fave (I'll post pics on FB) and I loooooooved the lunch we had overlooking the river. Such a peaceful place. I love how Thai people were able to preserve as much of their historical sites as possible, and the way that they revere their king is so admirable! I made the mistake of asking our guide "so what does your king do?" He looked a bit shocked that I would even dare wonder about such a thing and said "he devotes his entire life to the people!" Hay. If only we would exude even just 10% of that admiration towards our leaders.
5. Oh and the shopping! Dennis had a lot of fun shopping and if you can believe, he outshopped me about 2:1. Intense! Well, we also found a Kinokuniya there, which is Dennis' happy place, so that also meant a lot of shopping for him. But apart from books, I was so proud of him to have braved Chatuchak Market with me and even happily went about bargaining with the vendors. He also went to MBK with me and waited patiently as I went to my favorite outlet to buy.... underwear! Secret tip: Go to BKK and buy bras and panties at MBK. It's the cheapest Wacoal stuff I've ever found anywhere in the world. They have a wide selection and you can fit the bras too! Winner! :)
6. I gained weight, as I shared so generously over Twitter. Haha! I blame it on the Thai food that needs substantial amount of rice, due to the heat they pack, and the Thai iced tea that I so so so so love! I also discovered a traditional Thai appetizer that's oh-so-yummy! I heart tamarind sauce!!! :)
7. Thai massage - thumbs up! I fell asleep about 3/4s of the time. Haha!
It was a good 5-day trip. We got to do a little bit of everything and the hotel we stayed at was really good value! The room was comfortable and the hotel was a short 3-minute walk to the BTS. And the price! Our room was about 2,600 pesos per night only, WITH breakfast! As they say, "saan ka pa?" :p
Oh and last tidbit: I was wondering why the locals were looking at me in a fascinated sort of way, until our guide told me it's because I resemble a Thai celebrity who does soap operas. Haha!
Loooooved Bangkok thoroughly! Such a relief too, because my previous trips were for work and were mostly confined to meetings. I would love to go back :)
Some highlights:
1. We went on a temple hop around Bangkok, and I finally got to see the Emerald Buddha (a misnomer because the Buddha statue inside is actually made of jade. People then didn't have a sophisticated understanding of stones and anything green was just called an emerald). I love love love the Emerald Buddha. It simply took my breath away. Photo-taking wasn't allowed inside. You can only take shots through an open pillar in front of the temple, but even then your camera will only be able to capture the Buddha in a golden sort of light, not in its jade glory. I loved it, as I said, not only because it's so majestic and beautiful, but more because I felt such a sense of peace and an unexplained happiness when I was sitting inside the temple and just gazing at it. I read about it before the trip and had been wanting to see it more than any other sight in Bangkok, and I'm so happy we did!
2. We also got to see the Grand Palace - where the king used to hold office and where he still maintains private quarters. It's the size of 2 football fields!
3. On our way back, we found ourselves in the middle of a royal-family procession (well, they were really just going back to the palace from someplace else). Good thing we had a guide too, because otherwise, we wouldn't have known that we were supposed to stop walking and just stand in attention. I also wouldn't have known that I wasn't supposed to keep holding up my umbrella, as it can be misconstrued as a weapon! I would've been arrested :p Hehehe. It was cool to witness that whole thing. Thai royal police keep close surveillance of the street and they stop traffic to make sure the road is completely cleared. The convoy that was used to "transport" the royals was also done really impressively - makes me think that Pinoys have it all wrong and un-professional. Hehe.
4. We also went to Ayutthaya and saw the ruined temples. The last one was my fave (I'll post pics on FB) and I loooooooved the lunch we had overlooking the river. Such a peaceful place. I love how Thai people were able to preserve as much of their historical sites as possible, and the way that they revere their king is so admirable! I made the mistake of asking our guide "so what does your king do?" He looked a bit shocked that I would even dare wonder about such a thing and said "he devotes his entire life to the people!" Hay. If only we would exude even just 10% of that admiration towards our leaders.
5. Oh and the shopping! Dennis had a lot of fun shopping and if you can believe, he outshopped me about 2:1. Intense! Well, we also found a Kinokuniya there, which is Dennis' happy place, so that also meant a lot of shopping for him. But apart from books, I was so proud of him to have braved Chatuchak Market with me and even happily went about bargaining with the vendors. He also went to MBK with me and waited patiently as I went to my favorite outlet to buy.... underwear! Secret tip: Go to BKK and buy bras and panties at MBK. It's the cheapest Wacoal stuff I've ever found anywhere in the world. They have a wide selection and you can fit the bras too! Winner! :)
6. I gained weight, as I shared so generously over Twitter. Haha! I blame it on the Thai food that needs substantial amount of rice, due to the heat they pack, and the Thai iced tea that I so so so so love! I also discovered a traditional Thai appetizer that's oh-so-yummy! I heart tamarind sauce!!! :)
7. Thai massage - thumbs up! I fell asleep about 3/4s of the time. Haha!
It was a good 5-day trip. We got to do a little bit of everything and the hotel we stayed at was really good value! The room was comfortable and the hotel was a short 3-minute walk to the BTS. And the price! Our room was about 2,600 pesos per night only, WITH breakfast! As they say, "saan ka pa?" :p
Oh and last tidbit: I was wondering why the locals were looking at me in a fascinated sort of way, until our guide told me it's because I resemble a Thai celebrity who does soap operas. Haha!
Loooooved Bangkok thoroughly! Such a relief too, because my previous trips were for work and were mostly confined to meetings. I would love to go back :)
Tuesday, April 03, 2012
Sawadika!
We're spending Holy Week in the following way:
1. Spending Wednesday evening with the Chans for a family dinner
2. Spending Thursday with the Co's
3. Spending Friday to Tuesday in Bangkok! :) Yay! THis is the third of our overseas trips so far this year, and I'm excited! I've been to Bangkok three times before this, but all three times were for work and I only got to go around in a very limited way, i.e. Patpong with male colleagues and MBK/Chatuchak shopping with female colleagues. That's my impression so far of Bangkok. So I'm excited to go there with Atty and experience Thai culture on a 5-day itinerary-less holiday :) OK, maybe not so itinerary-less. I do have a list of things I want to do and I do intend to book a tour when we arrive, but mostly, this trip will be about relaxing, shopping, eating and getting lots of Thai massages :) It's also our celebration of my MBA graduation, so I don't want to cram the trip with lots of things to do. We feel like chilling, so it is chilling that we shall do :) Have a pleasant Holy Week, guys!
1. Spending Wednesday evening with the Chans for a family dinner
2. Spending Thursday with the Co's
3. Spending Friday to Tuesday in Bangkok! :) Yay! THis is the third of our overseas trips so far this year, and I'm excited! I've been to Bangkok three times before this, but all three times were for work and I only got to go around in a very limited way, i.e. Patpong with male colleagues and MBK/Chatuchak shopping with female colleagues. That's my impression so far of Bangkok. So I'm excited to go there with Atty and experience Thai culture on a 5-day itinerary-less holiday :) OK, maybe not so itinerary-less. I do have a list of things I want to do and I do intend to book a tour when we arrive, but mostly, this trip will be about relaxing, shopping, eating and getting lots of Thai massages :) It's also our celebration of my MBA graduation, so I don't want to cram the trip with lots of things to do. We feel like chilling, so it is chilling that we shall do :) Have a pleasant Holy Week, guys!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
MBA! :)
Finally done with my MBA! Can you say huge sigh of relief??! :)
My defense went well overall. The panel said I had very good stage presence and presentation skills (that's thanks to IMC!) which was half the battle. They also gave me advice on how they think my company should "level up" and how I can help it do that. They also gave me feedback, saying they're very proud of how much I've grown and learned and they believe I will "go far" in the corporate world. They encouraged me not to let politics in Smart get the better of me, because I "have much better things to accomplish than to allow myself to be dragged down." Lastly, they claim not to say this to every student, and encouraged me to take the next step and get a Doctorate degree in Business Administration (DBA). I didn't know how to react because part of me was screaming "nooooo!" Haha!
What's funnier is that hours after the defense was done, I was 20% considering actually taking them up on their offer! Can you say NERD?
I'm so thankful it's over and done with. Now I just have to get my graduation clearance in order, pay the fees and just sit back and wait for my diploma. I didn't elect to join the graduation rites anymore, as DLSU's graduation batches are so humungous and I don't feel like sitting for hours just for 2 minutes on-stage :) I already know I earned this degree anyway - really earned it - so I don't need the actual experience of marching, getting a rolled-up, blank piece of paper to make it feel "real" to me. I'm happy with what I've accomplished as it is :)
I dedicate this to my loving parents who are super supportive and was always there to provide the resources I need. Dennis also deserves just as much thanks, especially towards the latter part of this degree quest, when I almost gave up. Thank you, thank you, winds beneath my wings :)
My defense went well overall. The panel said I had very good stage presence and presentation skills (that's thanks to IMC!) which was half the battle. They also gave me advice on how they think my company should "level up" and how I can help it do that. They also gave me feedback, saying they're very proud of how much I've grown and learned and they believe I will "go far" in the corporate world. They encouraged me not to let politics in Smart get the better of me, because I "have much better things to accomplish than to allow myself to be dragged down." Lastly, they claim not to say this to every student, and encouraged me to take the next step and get a Doctorate degree in Business Administration (DBA). I didn't know how to react because part of me was screaming "nooooo!" Haha!
What's funnier is that hours after the defense was done, I was 20% considering actually taking them up on their offer! Can you say NERD?
I'm so thankful it's over and done with. Now I just have to get my graduation clearance in order, pay the fees and just sit back and wait for my diploma. I didn't elect to join the graduation rites anymore, as DLSU's graduation batches are so humungous and I don't feel like sitting for hours just for 2 minutes on-stage :) I already know I earned this degree anyway - really earned it - so I don't need the actual experience of marching, getting a rolled-up, blank piece of paper to make it feel "real" to me. I'm happy with what I've accomplished as it is :)
I dedicate this to my loving parents who are super supportive and was always there to provide the resources I need. Dennis also deserves just as much thanks, especially towards the latter part of this degree quest, when I almost gave up. Thank you, thank you, winds beneath my wings :)
Monday, March 26, 2012
D-Day
is tomorrow!
At 6-8pm tomorrow, I will be defending my Strama paper to a 3-body professor panel, and doing a spot oral exam on marketing - my chosen topic and specialization.
After that, provided all goes well, I will be officially done with my MBA.
Please pray for me!!!
*fingers crossed*
At 6-8pm tomorrow, I will be defending my Strama paper to a 3-body professor panel, and doing a spot oral exam on marketing - my chosen topic and specialization.
After that, provided all goes well, I will be officially done with my MBA.
Please pray for me!!!
*fingers crossed*
Monday, March 19, 2012
8, 7, 6, 5, 4....
8 days until my thesis defense! I'm starting to feel a bit nervous, after viewing the mock sessions last Saturday. I am starting to see vulnerable points in my deck, and I don't know how to make them better (ok, I'm panicking, I have to calm down!!!)
Please pray for me!
Please pray for me!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
mommy update
Thank God we got the second opinion. Turns out my mom's operation can be postponed, perhaps even until her natural menopause, assuming the myoma doesn't grow extensively anymore. The biopsy revealed that the mass isn't much to worry about for now. It's a huge relief. I know she wasn't yet emotionally and mentally ready for menopause, plus, there's my brother's wedding coming up in 4 months. I know she wants to be able to 100% contribute and be here with him through these last few months of him being under her roof. So I'm really really grateful.
Thank you, SSK.
Thank you, SSK.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
mama, it's my turn
It's official. My mom will be getting a hysterectomy in early April. She has a myoma in her uterus that doubled in size and, while there's no urgency to get it out from her body, it is the safer alternative, lest it develops into something malignant and present even worse problems. It's now my turn to take care of my mom, and I signed on to be her caretaker and companion pre and post op. I'm happy to, and I feel I'll probably feel less nervous about the entire thing if I'm 100% involved.
I pray for her safe operation and speedy recovery. The doc (coincidentally is also my OB) said that her recovery will take up to 2 months. This gives her enough time to recover and get better before my brother ties the knot in July. Please keep my mom in your prayers. Thank you.
I pray for her safe operation and speedy recovery. The doc (coincidentally is also my OB) said that her recovery will take up to 2 months. This gives her enough time to recover and get better before my brother ties the knot in July. Please keep my mom in your prayers. Thank you.
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
trip highlights
So Feb was a month of trips! I loved loved loved these 2 trips. Some highlights:
1. HONGKONG
- We had a bit of a non-traditional itinerary, since we only spent about one afternoon in the shopping mall (but that didn't stop me from coming home with loot - more on that later). We went up the Peak Tram to reach Victoria Peak and see 360-degree views of HongKong. We also did the Lantau Island tour- which consisted of a white, shark-infested beach, a traditional fishing village with houses on stilts, the Po Lin monastery where we had a veggie lunch (which was surprisingly good!) and a visit to the Giant Buddha. A great sight to behold, even if you're not Buddhist. Obviously, it was more special for us since it's our faith, and I prayed fervently for the one blessing I hope to get this year.
- We also had the most romantic Valentine's dinner ever. We went to Caprice, the French 3-Michelin star restaurant of the Four Seasons Hotel in Central. It was the most romantic meal I've ever had - with warm, soft lighting everywhere and a sprawling view of Central Pier and the HongKong harbour. Dennis also went all-out in terms of what we got for the meal - we had pink-grape champagne (which I still crave for until now) and really good merlot wine, to go with our 5-course meal peppered with complimentary dishes from the restaurant. The service was also impeccable- they accompany you everywhere, even walk you to the restroom! Haha! At one point, Dennis was going to pass me his plate of bread (to have me try it with the foie gras terrine appetizer), and the head waiter beat him to it! Imagine that! Dennis was already sitting next to me and was just going to pass me a plate, and the waiter who was standing a few feet from us beat him to the punch and got me my own fresh plate of bread! Lovely lovely dinner - something I definitely want a repeat of in the future :)
- Just when I thought I was a good girl and didn't really shop save for 1 top in H&M, I spotted a Marc Jacobs newly-released, airport-exclusive bag in HKIA, after our Saboten lunch and while we were walking to the gates. It was in the Hillier design that I have always loved, but never thought of buying since the all-leather version it originally came in was far too heavy for my scoliosis-weakened back. But this bag that we saw at the airport was in beautiful, soft nylon and in a luscious color of brown! My loving husband saw my expression when I saw it and ordered me (yes, in a serious, commanding tone) to get it. It was "on him" daw. Yay!
So that recaps our short Valentine's weekend in HK. I love traveling with Dennis, discovering new places with him, eating delicious food and just wandering around the city- something that, if you think about, we don't really get to do in Manila. At least not something we can do without any regard for safety considerations. It's a blessing that we get to go on these trips :)
2. SINGAPORE
- This was Dennis' firm's first lawyer's outing that was set outside the country and included the spouses. Originally, the other partners were thinking of going to HK, but Dennis oh-so-cleverly swayed the discussion towards Singapore, because he knew I wanted to go there to watch Wicked, and what better way to do that than on someone else's tab! Genius! Haha! My husband is the best!
- So anyway, we did watch Wicked on our first night and it was the BEST! It's now my favorite play of all time, among all the other shows I've watched. Such a happy and powerful story about friendship and love. I love love love it! And as usual, my spoiler of a husband bought me the official soundtrack CD and a shirt to commemorate the show. I listen to it every chance I get now :p
- We also went to Universal Studios and to the Fountain of Wealth - a staple in all Singapore trips :)
- We also went to new places like Chijmes and St John's Cathedral. I wanted to show Dennis a more suburban, "old" version of Singapore. And mission accomplished!
- We ate so much too - including Din Tai Fung, our dimsum favorite, which we had also eaten in in HK just 2 weeks prior! :)
- I also showed him to Ikea (his first time, isn't that so cute!) and met up with Ranza and Van for a Singaporean night out 2nd edition :) The first trip Van and I took to Singapore was in 2005, back when we were on a tight budget and could only afford a 10-sqm hotel room, and Ranza slept over pa! Hahaha! Those were the days :P
- And, as if the HK bag wasn't enough, this Singaporean trip also had me coming home with bag loot! My friend Van called me when I was in Kinokuniya with Dennis (the giant bookstore is his happy place in Singapore and in Japan), and told me there was a private sale of designer bags just across the street from Ngee Ann City (where Kinokuniya is). How can I not check it out?! So I went and met up with her and found THE Fendi baguette I love! Yay! On 30% off and I get GST refund back too. So it was a definite buy. :) Happily, my husband liked the bag too and gave a thumbs-up to the purchase :)
OK, promise to self: No more bags for 2012. AT ALL. Enough already :p
So that's pretty much what the trips were about. Such a happy February :)
We have another one coming up - Bangkok for Holy Week. And we'll be on business class too, thanks to my parents who gave these tickets to us as a gift. I am excited for April! :)
1. HONGKONG
- We had a bit of a non-traditional itinerary, since we only spent about one afternoon in the shopping mall (but that didn't stop me from coming home with loot - more on that later). We went up the Peak Tram to reach Victoria Peak and see 360-degree views of HongKong. We also did the Lantau Island tour- which consisted of a white, shark-infested beach, a traditional fishing village with houses on stilts, the Po Lin monastery where we had a veggie lunch (which was surprisingly good!) and a visit to the Giant Buddha. A great sight to behold, even if you're not Buddhist. Obviously, it was more special for us since it's our faith, and I prayed fervently for the one blessing I hope to get this year.
- We also had the most romantic Valentine's dinner ever. We went to Caprice, the French 3-Michelin star restaurant of the Four Seasons Hotel in Central. It was the most romantic meal I've ever had - with warm, soft lighting everywhere and a sprawling view of Central Pier and the HongKong harbour. Dennis also went all-out in terms of what we got for the meal - we had pink-grape champagne (which I still crave for until now) and really good merlot wine, to go with our 5-course meal peppered with complimentary dishes from the restaurant. The service was also impeccable- they accompany you everywhere, even walk you to the restroom! Haha! At one point, Dennis was going to pass me his plate of bread (to have me try it with the foie gras terrine appetizer), and the head waiter beat him to it! Imagine that! Dennis was already sitting next to me and was just going to pass me a plate, and the waiter who was standing a few feet from us beat him to the punch and got me my own fresh plate of bread! Lovely lovely dinner - something I definitely want a repeat of in the future :)
- Just when I thought I was a good girl and didn't really shop save for 1 top in H&M, I spotted a Marc Jacobs newly-released, airport-exclusive bag in HKIA, after our Saboten lunch and while we were walking to the gates. It was in the Hillier design that I have always loved, but never thought of buying since the all-leather version it originally came in was far too heavy for my scoliosis-weakened back. But this bag that we saw at the airport was in beautiful, soft nylon and in a luscious color of brown! My loving husband saw my expression when I saw it and ordered me (yes, in a serious, commanding tone) to get it. It was "on him" daw. Yay!
So that recaps our short Valentine's weekend in HK. I love traveling with Dennis, discovering new places with him, eating delicious food and just wandering around the city- something that, if you think about, we don't really get to do in Manila. At least not something we can do without any regard for safety considerations. It's a blessing that we get to go on these trips :)
2. SINGAPORE
- This was Dennis' firm's first lawyer's outing that was set outside the country and included the spouses. Originally, the other partners were thinking of going to HK, but Dennis oh-so-cleverly swayed the discussion towards Singapore, because he knew I wanted to go there to watch Wicked, and what better way to do that than on someone else's tab! Genius! Haha! My husband is the best!
- So anyway, we did watch Wicked on our first night and it was the BEST! It's now my favorite play of all time, among all the other shows I've watched. Such a happy and powerful story about friendship and love. I love love love it! And as usual, my spoiler of a husband bought me the official soundtrack CD and a shirt to commemorate the show. I listen to it every chance I get now :p
- We also went to Universal Studios and to the Fountain of Wealth - a staple in all Singapore trips :)
- We also went to new places like Chijmes and St John's Cathedral. I wanted to show Dennis a more suburban, "old" version of Singapore. And mission accomplished!
- We ate so much too - including Din Tai Fung, our dimsum favorite, which we had also eaten in in HK just 2 weeks prior! :)
- I also showed him to Ikea (his first time, isn't that so cute!) and met up with Ranza and Van for a Singaporean night out 2nd edition :) The first trip Van and I took to Singapore was in 2005, back when we were on a tight budget and could only afford a 10-sqm hotel room, and Ranza slept over pa! Hahaha! Those were the days :P
- And, as if the HK bag wasn't enough, this Singaporean trip also had me coming home with bag loot! My friend Van called me when I was in Kinokuniya with Dennis (the giant bookstore is his happy place in Singapore and in Japan), and told me there was a private sale of designer bags just across the street from Ngee Ann City (where Kinokuniya is). How can I not check it out?! So I went and met up with her and found THE Fendi baguette I love! Yay! On 30% off and I get GST refund back too. So it was a definite buy. :) Happily, my husband liked the bag too and gave a thumbs-up to the purchase :)
OK, promise to self: No more bags for 2012. AT ALL. Enough already :p
So that's pretty much what the trips were about. Such a happy February :)
We have another one coming up - Bangkok for Holy Week. And we'll be on business class too, thanks to my parents who gave these tickets to us as a gift. I am excited for April! :)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
next weekend, we'll be in...
Singapore- my favorite city in the world!!
To watch--
Yay!! :)
Will do trip-updates after SG nalang so it's in one go :)
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Friday, February 03, 2012
Wrap-up and then what?
I went to DLSU Taft the other day to claim some documents needed for submission before I get approved to proceed to my thesis defense, which is the last step in my quest to get an MBA diploma. Now that I'm on the verge of finishing up this post-graduate degree, the question now begs to be asked, "now what?"
I pursued this MBA degree, despite its many challenges and energy-zapping moments, for two main reasons: I believed it was essential to get a bigger-picture perspective on business, which hopefully opens up opportunities on the career front; and, I also thought it was a good step to take should I want to open my own business venture in the future. I felt the two reasons were good enough, and still do, as an MBA can benefit me both on the career and on the entrepreneurial contexts.
Now that I'm about to finish, I need to then ask myself what my next step will be. Is it ripe time to reap the benefit of the MBA degree by way of aiming for the next rung on the corporate ladder? Or are the benefits better appreciated and milked by finally setting off on my own path and "being my own boss"?
Incidentally, the other day, my husband generously offered me freedom in a related sense. No, we're not separating, if that's what you're thinking. He offered me the privilege (and I say this with much appreciation) to quit my job if it no longer makes me happy and to pursue what I really want to do with my time. He said we'll be able to make ends meet with his work. He'll make it happen, he said.
While grateful, I also felt a bit of pressure in this gracious offer. What, indeed, is it that I want to do? Now that I have, at least from my perspective, sufficient training needed to set off on my own, and now that my husband is giving me the option to bolt the corporate world, what do I do? I didn't expect freedom to raise this much uncertainty. I guess all that free space in front of me makes me a bit scared to decide what to fill it up with.
I guess the confusion also stems from the realization that I feel I'm not completely done with the corporate scene in general. I still do feel I have lessons left to learn and things to contribute, employed in a company with a much bigger purpose than my own. I can still do more and be "more", if you understand what I mean. I also enjoy being with my coworkers, especially my boss. Lastly, I must also admit I love the financial independence it affords me. I can spend my money on things I want to spend it on without having to justify anything to anybody (this is deserving of another thankfulness post) I think my only issue is that I feel that I've worn out my stay in my current spot.
On the other hand, a part of me also longs to finally start up something "of my own." I guess that's why I never considered working for the family business. No matter what I do, it'll never really be my own. Ok, that's a topic for a different day. Back to what I was saying, I look at people who are working on their passion every day, and I envy that sort of non-work work. They love what they're doing so much that they don't appear to be "working" much more than they are "enjoying." I'd like that for myself. But none of the passions I'm currently aware of having are remotely venture-worthy. So I feel... stuck.
What do you think? What do I do? :)
I pursued this MBA degree, despite its many challenges and energy-zapping moments, for two main reasons: I believed it was essential to get a bigger-picture perspective on business, which hopefully opens up opportunities on the career front; and, I also thought it was a good step to take should I want to open my own business venture in the future. I felt the two reasons were good enough, and still do, as an MBA can benefit me both on the career and on the entrepreneurial contexts.
Now that I'm about to finish, I need to then ask myself what my next step will be. Is it ripe time to reap the benefit of the MBA degree by way of aiming for the next rung on the corporate ladder? Or are the benefits better appreciated and milked by finally setting off on my own path and "being my own boss"?
Incidentally, the other day, my husband generously offered me freedom in a related sense. No, we're not separating, if that's what you're thinking. He offered me the privilege (and I say this with much appreciation) to quit my job if it no longer makes me happy and to pursue what I really want to do with my time. He said we'll be able to make ends meet with his work. He'll make it happen, he said.
While grateful, I also felt a bit of pressure in this gracious offer. What, indeed, is it that I want to do? Now that I have, at least from my perspective, sufficient training needed to set off on my own, and now that my husband is giving me the option to bolt the corporate world, what do I do? I didn't expect freedom to raise this much uncertainty. I guess all that free space in front of me makes me a bit scared to decide what to fill it up with.
I guess the confusion also stems from the realization that I feel I'm not completely done with the corporate scene in general. I still do feel I have lessons left to learn and things to contribute, employed in a company with a much bigger purpose than my own. I can still do more and be "more", if you understand what I mean. I also enjoy being with my coworkers, especially my boss. Lastly, I must also admit I love the financial independence it affords me. I can spend my money on things I want to spend it on without having to justify anything to anybody (this is deserving of another thankfulness post) I think my only issue is that I feel that I've worn out my stay in my current spot.
On the other hand, a part of me also longs to finally start up something "of my own." I guess that's why I never considered working for the family business. No matter what I do, it'll never really be my own. Ok, that's a topic for a different day. Back to what I was saying, I look at people who are working on their passion every day, and I envy that sort of non-work work. They love what they're doing so much that they don't appear to be "working" much more than they are "enjoying." I'd like that for myself. But none of the passions I'm currently aware of having are remotely venture-worthy. So I feel... stuck.
What do you think? What do I do? :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
SHG test
Yesterday, I took the afternoon off from work to take an SHG test, as part of our fertility exams. The objective of the test is to check if I have blocked (partially or completely) fallopian tubes. Blocked tubes hinder fertility because the sperm cannot go up the tubes to meet the egg. From my research, this is one fo the toughest obstacles to get pregnant. So naturally I was nervous going into the doc's office yesterday.
I was also nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I know what the mechanics are from a technical standpoint but didn't know what to expect in terms of having it actually performed on me. Also, I knew there was some cramping to be expected. So big fat NERVES.
The procedure took about 10 minutes and when the catether was inserted, I cried out in pain! WTF! Then the water was slowly injected and the cramps started. What made the whole thing better were the ff:
1. The fact that Dennis was there and I could focus on his face whenever I felt pain
2. Our doctor was so patient and kept on talking, updating me about what he was doing or about to do and what he was seeing on the monitor
3. There were plenty of framed photos of babies in the treatment room. This helped me focus on our goal and remember, through the WTF moments of pain, why I was doing this and why this momentary bouts of pain will be worth it in the end.
And then the results. My tubes were okay! Big fat WHEW this time. The doc said that since the water they inserted stayed inside my uterus and did not spill to the outside portions meant that the tubes directed the water correctly and hence didn't have any problems. He also praised me for my high tolerance for pain, to which Dennis proudly said, "yes doc, veteran na yan dyan!"
The next step now is to do follicle observation, so I have another ultrasound on Friday. We'll do this for 3 months, according to the doc, and then we'll see what happens. Because so far, it seems that we should be able to conceive naturally. Though he did say that given the results so far, and given my history with dysmennorhea, he's a bit inclined to suspect mild endometriosis. From his tone, I didn't feel there was any reason to freak out. And he did seem very optimistic we can get this done soon. I really really hope and pray so.
He then prescribed antibiotics to me to take for the next 3 days to minimize the risk of infection and sent us on our way. We then went home to have dinner. I still felt some pressure on my abdomen and some cramping. But this turned out to be an "ant bite" compared to what happened later on that night.
Starting about 2 hours after the procedure, the cramping I felt was accompanied by spasms in my abdomen and uterine areas. OMG. It was so strange because it felt a bit like dysmennorhea (but obviously I didn't have my period) and it also felt like ulcer. It was so strange! Moving was painful and it was tough to find a position I was least in pain in. I also felt nauseous and at times out of breath. I also started shivering and my teeth would chatter, even if I didn't feel cold at all. Again, really strange.
Dennis stayed next to me the whole time and kept making suggestions on how to make me feel more comfortable. He also suggested I take the pain killers that doc prescribed but I stubbornly insisted I will bear it the natural way. I will really try to stand by my resolution NOT to take any unnecessary pain meds, unless I get to the "exorcism" stage - incidentally, this was a term coined by my youngest brother when he would witness before my bouts with dysmennorhea. He said I looked like I was being exorcized :p
I feel much better now. Though there's still some spasming and cramping, it's really nothing I cannot handle. I'm so grateful to have a husband who takes such good care of me and refuses to leave my side until I felt better. I cannot tell you how comforting it is to have someone so dedicated and devoted to your wellbeing. I know that NOT all husbands act this way but mine does and I'm so thankful for him.
That's pretty much it. That was my journey through SHG. Definitely not something I want to do again. Hehe.
Hope we hit the jackpot soon :)
I was also nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I know what the mechanics are from a technical standpoint but didn't know what to expect in terms of having it actually performed on me. Also, I knew there was some cramping to be expected. So big fat NERVES.
The procedure took about 10 minutes and when the catether was inserted, I cried out in pain! WTF! Then the water was slowly injected and the cramps started. What made the whole thing better were the ff:
1. The fact that Dennis was there and I could focus on his face whenever I felt pain
2. Our doctor was so patient and kept on talking, updating me about what he was doing or about to do and what he was seeing on the monitor
3. There were plenty of framed photos of babies in the treatment room. This helped me focus on our goal and remember, through the WTF moments of pain, why I was doing this and why this momentary bouts of pain will be worth it in the end.
And then the results. My tubes were okay! Big fat WHEW this time. The doc said that since the water they inserted stayed inside my uterus and did not spill to the outside portions meant that the tubes directed the water correctly and hence didn't have any problems. He also praised me for my high tolerance for pain, to which Dennis proudly said, "yes doc, veteran na yan dyan!"
The next step now is to do follicle observation, so I have another ultrasound on Friday. We'll do this for 3 months, according to the doc, and then we'll see what happens. Because so far, it seems that we should be able to conceive naturally. Though he did say that given the results so far, and given my history with dysmennorhea, he's a bit inclined to suspect mild endometriosis. From his tone, I didn't feel there was any reason to freak out. And he did seem very optimistic we can get this done soon. I really really hope and pray so.
He then prescribed antibiotics to me to take for the next 3 days to minimize the risk of infection and sent us on our way. We then went home to have dinner. I still felt some pressure on my abdomen and some cramping. But this turned out to be an "ant bite" compared to what happened later on that night.
Starting about 2 hours after the procedure, the cramping I felt was accompanied by spasms in my abdomen and uterine areas. OMG. It was so strange because it felt a bit like dysmennorhea (but obviously I didn't have my period) and it also felt like ulcer. It was so strange! Moving was painful and it was tough to find a position I was least in pain in. I also felt nauseous and at times out of breath. I also started shivering and my teeth would chatter, even if I didn't feel cold at all. Again, really strange.
Dennis stayed next to me the whole time and kept making suggestions on how to make me feel more comfortable. He also suggested I take the pain killers that doc prescribed but I stubbornly insisted I will bear it the natural way. I will really try to stand by my resolution NOT to take any unnecessary pain meds, unless I get to the "exorcism" stage - incidentally, this was a term coined by my youngest brother when he would witness before my bouts with dysmennorhea. He said I looked like I was being exorcized :p
I feel much better now. Though there's still some spasming and cramping, it's really nothing I cannot handle. I'm so grateful to have a husband who takes such good care of me and refuses to leave my side until I felt better. I cannot tell you how comforting it is to have someone so dedicated and devoted to your wellbeing. I know that NOT all husbands act this way but mine does and I'm so thankful for him.
That's pretty much it. That was my journey through SHG. Definitely not something I want to do again. Hehe.
Hope we hit the jackpot soon :)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Knowledge is Power
A number of people advised that we should consult a fertility expert if we want to get pregnant right away (or soon). For a while there, I didn't want to, for fear of bad news. At some level, I also felt that going to the doc means that we're giving up on getting this done naturally and conceding. It's hard to explain in detail but essentially I felt then that I just wasn't ready yet for the possible implications and results of going.
Late last year, though, we agreed that it was time to go "scientific" on the matter and find out what's taking us this long. So on the first weekend of January, we went on our first consultation, followed by another consult today. We also did two initial rounds of tests - one for him and one for me - both of which came out okay and normal. One down.
I'm now scheduled for a test called SHG next Tuesday - a test that checks if there are any blockages (or anything wrong, basically) with my fallopian tubes, since my ovaries and uterine wall (?) checked out okay. I'm a bit nervous about that because my preliminary internet research said it might be a bit painful and I should expect cramping. For someone who carries battle scars with dysmennorhea, cramping is still not something I take lightly :s However, since my solemn agreement with myself to divest of all things Ponstan and Advil-related, I will try to do the procedure as medication-free as possible. Cramps na kung cramps.
We also found out other things today that clarified some doubts lingering at the back of our heads. Indeed, knowledge is power. I wouldn't say though that I wish we went to the doc sooner, because I know now that I wasn't ready then to "face my fears". I am now, and I'm thankful to have a partner who is understanding, patient and never ever forces me to do something I'm not comfortable doing. He knows when to push and when to just let me be and hold my hand.
So, next Tuesday it is, doc. Fingers crossed!
Late last year, though, we agreed that it was time to go "scientific" on the matter and find out what's taking us this long. So on the first weekend of January, we went on our first consultation, followed by another consult today. We also did two initial rounds of tests - one for him and one for me - both of which came out okay and normal. One down.
I'm now scheduled for a test called SHG next Tuesday - a test that checks if there are any blockages (or anything wrong, basically) with my fallopian tubes, since my ovaries and uterine wall (?) checked out okay. I'm a bit nervous about that because my preliminary internet research said it might be a bit painful and I should expect cramping. For someone who carries battle scars with dysmennorhea, cramping is still not something I take lightly :s However, since my solemn agreement with myself to divest of all things Ponstan and Advil-related, I will try to do the procedure as medication-free as possible. Cramps na kung cramps.
We also found out other things today that clarified some doubts lingering at the back of our heads. Indeed, knowledge is power. I wouldn't say though that I wish we went to the doc sooner, because I know now that I wasn't ready then to "face my fears". I am now, and I'm thankful to have a partner who is understanding, patient and never ever forces me to do something I'm not comfortable doing. He knows when to push and when to just let me be and hold my hand.
So, next Tuesday it is, doc. Fingers crossed!
Monday, January 16, 2012
thankful for
- having the luxury of waking up at 8:45 and getting up at 9:00 (Haha! I lounge for about 15 minutes before getting up. I check in on my Twitter and FB accounts first. Haha!) It's the bomb, I tell you. The precious time you save by not taking a car to work and by not needing to wake up earlier is.... priceless.
- upcoming trips to HK and Bangkok. We plan to do an "un-Hongkong" trip, meaning a trip that's not about the city side of HK and not about shopping. Haha! I told Dennis that I've been to HK more times than I can count but I've actually never done the touristy thing and have never ever gone to see Ngong Ping or the giant Buddha. So, we're doing that this time :) And then, it's gonna be Dennis' first time in BKK so I hope to be able to plan a good itinerary for that too, so he has a good impression and will take me back there. Haha! Speaking of BKK, I'm also grateful to our parents for giving us the miles needed to claim biz-class tickets for this trip, and on Holy Week dates too! Yay!
- last stretch of my schoolwork which involves getting the most coveted signature of approval to proceed to defense... and actually doing the defense sometime late Feb.
Thank you, thank you, 2012 :)
- upcoming trips to HK and Bangkok. We plan to do an "un-Hongkong" trip, meaning a trip that's not about the city side of HK and not about shopping. Haha! I told Dennis that I've been to HK more times than I can count but I've actually never done the touristy thing and have never ever gone to see Ngong Ping or the giant Buddha. So, we're doing that this time :) And then, it's gonna be Dennis' first time in BKK so I hope to be able to plan a good itinerary for that too, so he has a good impression and will take me back there. Haha! Speaking of BKK, I'm also grateful to our parents for giving us the miles needed to claim biz-class tickets for this trip, and on Holy Week dates too! Yay!
- last stretch of my schoolwork which involves getting the most coveted signature of approval to proceed to defense... and actually doing the defense sometime late Feb.
Thank you, thank you, 2012 :)
Friday, January 06, 2012
love for country
This seems to be an appropriate topic today, since the DOT unveiled their new slogan for tourism.
Sometimes I wonder if I really, honestly, truly, sincerely, whole-heartedly love the Philippines. If all my family members and friends move to, say, Australia, and hence I move too, will I still miss Pinas? Will I still feel like I'm not "home", when I suspect my definition of the Philippines being home is only because the people to whom my heart belongs live here (whether by choice or otherwise)?
Something to think about. Because I notice that when thinking about what I love about the Philippines, the answers I mostly come up with have to do with the people I love. There are barely other reasons. Unlike people from other countries like my cousins from Canada who have country-loving reasons beyond their families. They love their systems, they love their way of life, etc...
So, you, do you really love the Philippines? Love it enough to still stay?
And don't say, you cannot separate the Philippines from your loved ones because that just doesn't make any sense.(Haha! Defensive?!) Ask yourself the question I posed above. :)
Sometimes I wonder if I really, honestly, truly, sincerely, whole-heartedly love the Philippines. If all my family members and friends move to, say, Australia, and hence I move too, will I still miss Pinas? Will I still feel like I'm not "home", when I suspect my definition of the Philippines being home is only because the people to whom my heart belongs live here (whether by choice or otherwise)?
Something to think about. Because I notice that when thinking about what I love about the Philippines, the answers I mostly come up with have to do with the people I love. There are barely other reasons. Unlike people from other countries like my cousins from Canada who have country-loving reasons beyond their families. They love their systems, they love their way of life, etc...
So, you, do you really love the Philippines? Love it enough to still stay?
And don't say, you cannot separate the Philippines from your loved ones because that just doesn't make any sense.(Haha! Defensive?!) Ask yourself the question I posed above. :)
Monday, January 02, 2012
Thankfulness post for the year that was...
It's 2012! Happy New Year! In line with the new theme I started last year, here's the grand "thank you" list for 2011:
THANK YOU FOR...
- the best husband in the whole wide world. I know everyone probably says this about the man in their lives, but I would seriously enter Dennis in any best-husband competition out there. He is the best partner one can ever hope for.
- the best family, both new and old. I'm referring to my Co family (old) and Chan family (new). This year is when I truly got to know this new family I joined and I'm thankful for the many lessons they taught me and the love with which they showered me all year long.
- the many opportunities that come my way. I've received so many career and academic opportunities this year and I'm so grateful. I hope that 2012 will be the year I can move on from this company, not because of any bitter reason but because I honestly feel that I've learned as much as I possibly can in this place. I feel it's time to move on.
- the financial blessings of 2011. The past year also saw us able to expand our nest egg and be on a much stronger footing in terms of our finances. We were able to pay down our loan a bit and were able to save, while still being able to... (next point)
- the travel opportunities and the luxuries we were able to partake in in 2011. This year also saw us spending the most we've ever spent (so far in our short married life) in travel. Firstly, we went to Europe together for the first time. We also spent Atty's birthday in Macau and spent for most of the expenses. We also went to Bora for the first time, almost on impulse, and spent the holiday vacation in Anvaya, where again, we were "taya" (and were happy to be too!). A huge THANK YOU for these adventures. We were also able to indulge in some luxuries this year, with the new gadgets and the shopping exploits. We also gifted his brother with a very generous wedding gift. Thank you.
- THE thesis. Thank you for giving me the fortitude and strength to go through the hellish 14 weeks of Strama, culminating in the submission of the longest piece of Word document I've ever written in my entire life. No matter the grading outcome (though I'm also grateful for the high grade I got for this class), I'm proud of what I've accomplished.
- the chance to teach again. As I've said in more times than once in this blog, teaching is indeed a calling of mine. It doesn't pay a lot but it is rewarding in so much more meaningful ways. And I'm grateful for the chance to teach again and for having an easy bunch of kids to educate.
2011 did have its lows, mind you. Especially towards the end when the frustration and sadness I felt over not getting the one gift I truly wanted. But my husband saw me through this dark period, and I do believe we emerged a stronger couple after it. I know it probably doesn't make a dent in terms of the more serious trials that other couples have gone through, but this challenge did give me a good look at the metal of the man I married - the kind of inner strength and wisdom he has, on top of the unwavering love and devotion I'm eternally grateful for. So even if 2011 left one wish ungranted, I am still grateful for all the blessings it brought. And it makes me even more excited and hopeful for 2012.
Happy New Year!
THANK YOU FOR...
- the best husband in the whole wide world. I know everyone probably says this about the man in their lives, but I would seriously enter Dennis in any best-husband competition out there. He is the best partner one can ever hope for.
- the best family, both new and old. I'm referring to my Co family (old) and Chan family (new). This year is when I truly got to know this new family I joined and I'm thankful for the many lessons they taught me and the love with which they showered me all year long.
- the many opportunities that come my way. I've received so many career and academic opportunities this year and I'm so grateful. I hope that 2012 will be the year I can move on from this company, not because of any bitter reason but because I honestly feel that I've learned as much as I possibly can in this place. I feel it's time to move on.
- the financial blessings of 2011. The past year also saw us able to expand our nest egg and be on a much stronger footing in terms of our finances. We were able to pay down our loan a bit and were able to save, while still being able to... (next point)
- the travel opportunities and the luxuries we were able to partake in in 2011. This year also saw us spending the most we've ever spent (so far in our short married life) in travel. Firstly, we went to Europe together for the first time. We also spent Atty's birthday in Macau and spent for most of the expenses. We also went to Bora for the first time, almost on impulse, and spent the holiday vacation in Anvaya, where again, we were "taya" (and were happy to be too!). A huge THANK YOU for these adventures. We were also able to indulge in some luxuries this year, with the new gadgets and the shopping exploits. We also gifted his brother with a very generous wedding gift. Thank you.
- THE thesis. Thank you for giving me the fortitude and strength to go through the hellish 14 weeks of Strama, culminating in the submission of the longest piece of Word document I've ever written in my entire life. No matter the grading outcome (though I'm also grateful for the high grade I got for this class), I'm proud of what I've accomplished.
- the chance to teach again. As I've said in more times than once in this blog, teaching is indeed a calling of mine. It doesn't pay a lot but it is rewarding in so much more meaningful ways. And I'm grateful for the chance to teach again and for having an easy bunch of kids to educate.
2011 did have its lows, mind you. Especially towards the end when the frustration and sadness I felt over not getting the one gift I truly wanted. But my husband saw me through this dark period, and I do believe we emerged a stronger couple after it. I know it probably doesn't make a dent in terms of the more serious trials that other couples have gone through, but this challenge did give me a good look at the metal of the man I married - the kind of inner strength and wisdom he has, on top of the unwavering love and devotion I'm eternally grateful for. So even if 2011 left one wish ungranted, I am still grateful for all the blessings it brought. And it makes me even more excited and hopeful for 2012.
Happy New Year!
Friday, December 23, 2011
keep eyes on the road ahead
The past few days have been about carrying a huge weight inside my heart. After lugging around this pain in my chest, I felt that last night, a message was sent to me through a TV series I was watching while waiting for Dennis to come home. It was advice dispensed by Nora Walker, and it went something like this:
You have to believe that if someone is meant to be in your life, s/he will find his/her way into it. In the meantime, keep your eyes on the road ahead. Stay on course and trust that the road you're on is the one you're meant to be on anyway. If you keep looking at the rearview mirror, you might miss a turn on the road that you're supposed to make and end up even more lost than if you never took a peak backwards in the first place.
So keep your eyes on the road ahead of you. No to rearview mirrors.
That's the Christmas message to cap off 2011.
You have to believe that if someone is meant to be in your life, s/he will find his/her way into it. In the meantime, keep your eyes on the road ahead. Stay on course and trust that the road you're on is the one you're meant to be on anyway. If you keep looking at the rearview mirror, you might miss a turn on the road that you're supposed to make and end up even more lost than if you never took a peak backwards in the first place.
So keep your eyes on the road ahead of you. No to rearview mirrors.
That's the Christmas message to cap off 2011.
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