My friend K (hmm.. seems like I have lots of friends with names beginning in K to write about, hehehe) told me yesterday that she and her long-time boyfriend have just paid the reservation fee on a condo unit in the Fort that's pre-selling now, for turn-over in 2009. I immediately asked a couple of questions, just to ensure she knows what's she's getting herself into). I asked, firstly, if plans for an engagement are underway.. Really underway-- in the truest meaning of the word. For her sake, I wanted her to have something concrete to hold on to. It doesn't have to be a rock. Just his word. And maybe some demonstrations to prove that he's serious.
I was disappointed. He hasn't given her any concrete assurances about marrying her. The ONLY thing he's said and has therefore committed to is the purchase of this condo unit. He hasn't even told his parents he's buying property with K, which K (rather fumbly, I thought) excused him for by saying they both (really, them both?) didn't want to upset his parents by telling them they don't plan on joining the family compound. I don't care if the freakin' parents get upset; I want him to tell them he intends to marry her. If he can't even utter the words, how in heaven's name will he be able to walk down the aisle?
She told me too that they'll be splitting the condo costs. He'll pay the first 6 amortizations, while she pays the second half. Admittedly, the payments will drain her funds and will even require her to downsize her life for a while, just to keep afloat. She has also enlisted her parents to lend her some money to pay for her share of the reservation fee. All that is okay with me, don't get me wrong. Nowadays, I know how expensive property is, and I know that it's only realistic for her to put in her share too. BUT ONLY if she's definitely, 100% sure that he will not leave her hanging 12 months from now. Darn it, she expects a proposal before 2006 ends and she's already anticipating her wedding next December (even to the extent of telling her boss she'll be on leave December of 2007). My worries even go beyond superstition at this rate. It's not about jinxing things anymore-- it's about jumping in blind faith, with no safety net.
Desperation is what I saw in her eyes and in every word she uttered in her attempt to convince me (or was it really me she was trying to convince?). I felt so bad for her, but hey, what else can I say? What else can I say that will not make this thing even more embarrassing for her, even more painful, even more scarring? She knows all the risks; she's not dumb.. She's just wishing against all odds, hoping against all hopes, that despite her greatest fears, he will pull through for her in the end. Maybe it's not the way I would've dealt with this had this be happening in my life and not hers. Maybe I'd choose to go a different route instead. Maybe I'd gamble my remaining reproductive months or years just to insure my heart and my sense of dignity. I may want to do it another way but hey, bottom line, this is her life and her choice on how to live it. Being her friend, I can hope for her best fortune and can only be there for her if her dreams don't come true.
I really really hope I'm wrong. They say a leopard cannot change its spots and that old habits die hard. Please let him be an exception to the rule.
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