sunshine, rain, or clouds?

Recently discovered a good source of weather forecasts-- www.wunderground.com
They're more precise than PAG-ASA, and nothing beats their 5-day forecasts when planning an out-of-town trip. Try it! :-)

I wish....

Being so far away from you doesn't mean you're away from my thoughts or my prayers. Please always know that I think of you and your family all the time, and always keep you guys in my prayers. I pray for things to take a huge turn for the better, for the pressure to let up on you just a little bit, for the every-day side of things to become easier for you... I pray every day that life becomes just a little bit lighter, just a little bit easier to live. Nothing pains me more than to know you're suffering, millions of miles away from me, and not being able to stand next to you to help you through.

On the other hand, I am also very thankful that you have such a great great great guy beside you, holding your hand, keeping you strong, and holding you up whenever you're too drained, physically or emotionally, to carry on. I derive a lot of comfort from knowing God doesn't let you live through these tough times all alone, that he granted you a support system, a pillar of strength on which you can rely in times of weakness.

This would be your first Christmas with this situation. I know this would be the first of many tough holidays, the first of many challenging occasions to come. I know this is the first holiday to be marked with such difficulty, such pain, such burden... And I cannot even begin to tell you how bad it makes me feel not to be by your side.

I just wish I can be there, I wish we can talk more often, I wish things were different, I wish it never happened... I wish a lot of things. I wish I were a better friend, a friend who's more there than I can ever be right now, given the constraints... I wish my prayers had some sort of express-lane in the land of prayers, so they can granted right away and you would be freed from all this. By being my dearest friend, you carry a part of my heart with you wherever you go... so your pain will always be my pain too.. somehow.

I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could make everything bad just go away... just go away forever...

I wish, I wish, I wish.

I wish.

it's a miracle!

I have finished a good load of my Christmas shopping! I have presents na for my family (save for my parents who are always a challenge to buy for), my boyfriend, my friends and my teammates! The only people left to buy for are, apart from my parents, my officemates and Dennis' family (which means his parents and his brother-- thank God for small families!). Once that is done, I'm done! I'm free! Free to spend the remaining shopping days scouring for deals for my most favorite gift-recipient--- Moi!

Hahahaha! Thanks to Dennis for being in China this weekend and giving me the free time to complete my Christmas list. :p

Such a relief! :)

shmarty!

I've never encountered anything more intellectually, emotionally and socially challenging than my current job. I feel if I survive all this, I can do anything! You don't just grow day on day here eh... You mature tenfold by the hour and you age (not physically, I hope) way beyond your years. Para kang rubber band kung i-stretch at para kang sponge kung ma-overwhelm ng stuff to absorb.

Hay buhay...

a really good weekend and a real downer of a monday

Saturday--
Went to UA&P in the morning to give a short talk in their recruitment event. I'm always glad to do those things, even if sometimes they require me to wake up at an ungodly hour on Saturdays. Not only do I enjoy giving these talks, I also feel like I'm giving back to the school in my own little way.

Anyway, Dennis picked me up afterwards and we headed to Guia's house to look at jewelry. Hay, there's this one pair that was super duper pretty. I was tempted like you wouldn't believe to buy them, but my mom disagreed with the price. Oh well. Don't fret, there will always be a next time.

Went on to watch 007, which I thought was a cool and a really good depiction of how Bond, James Bond started out in his career as a secret agent. I thought it explained clearly why he turned out the way he did in the succeeding installments. After the movie, we walked around Podium for a bit, then headed to Cookbook Kitchen for dinner. Can I just say again just how much I looooove that place? It's so cozy, so romantic, and the food is heavenly. The price is so right too. For dinner for two complete with a dessert course, we only spent P600.

Dennis then dropped me off at Mia's party at Beers Paradise, where the beer is plenty and plenty expensive. (hahaha!) As usual, Martin and Rap chugged the stuff down like it was water. Too bad Dennis wasn't there; he would've loved the place. He later on picked me up so I can follow to Derrick's firm's first-anniv party.

Sunday--
Considering the late-night on Saturday, Sunday had me up bright and early to get a headstart on my Christmas shopping. It was quite successful, in that I got presents na for my brothers and for Dennis. But it was also quite a failure, in that I ended up spending a lot of money on myself too, by buying more clothes and a really pretty pair of shoes from Nine West. Hay.

Then we spent Sunday night watching Friends with Money (the Jennifer Aniston movie made shortly after her breakup with the Pitt) here at home, before the rerun of the Pacquiao fight started. My family made such an event out of it (none of us caught the live telecast during the day), it was so cute. Good thing it finished quickly though, I rarely have patience for these long dragged-out sporting matches. Hehehe.

Monday--
Woke up with a slight fever and a really bad headache, which led me to confine myself to bed and skip work. Though I admit it's quite nice to escape the ol' ball and chain called Smart for a day, I hate being sick. I hate feeling sluggish from all the extra hours napping and I especially hate the funny feeling you carry in your gut after ingesting antibiotic after antibiotic. Eeew.

On the flip side, the Glamour magazine and the DVD of The Producers from Dennis kept me entertained. I looooved the movie/musical! I could totally see it staged live in my mind, and I especially looooooove the end-sequence. Hehehe. I would love to see it on Broadway sometime in my life :-) A total killer of a performance. Everyone should get a chance to see it :-)

OK, time to watch old Friends reruns now... and trying not to go back to sleep again, lest I stay up awake all night tonight.

her letter from mommy J

Someone I love wrote this to another person I Iove. I just think it's so apt for her situation, and knowing that these words were said with as much love and as much hope there can ever be, I'd like to post this for everyone to read ----

There has to come a point when you drop all the big words and the big concepts and strip down to the bare, naked truth. It's always nice to keep your head high up in the clouds, but make sure both your feet stay firmly on the ground and you don't forget the realities of life you cannot help but face. Nobody benefits from being in denial and filling your head with nice-to-hear-but-don't-mean-anything-til-you-back-'em-up stuff like "it's gonna work out somehow" or "just believe and have faith in (insert person or dream here)." If life worked that way, nobody would need to work for a living, nobody would have to starve, beg or cry, and most certainly, the word failure will not be in the dictionary. If life worked that way, hearts will never break and dreams will always come true and people will never let you down. Sure, it's good to shoot for the ideal and you should in fact keep hoping for the best of the best to happen, but honey, they call it "ideal" for a reason. Life's not like that. People change, time passes and sometimes, most painfully, we discover that words are just words. Things seldom turn out the way we thought they would, and sometimes, the best-laid plans are the worst-laid plans. Rarely does the picture in your head become the life that you live.

Consider this the little knock on the side of your head from a mom who's been there, lived that. Love you, girl!

waaaaaaah!

This entire office can surely use a healthy dose of maturity. Shake off the ego, learn to think and work as a team, look at the bigger picture and transcend one's personal agenda in favor of the greater good.

Just grow up, guys.

Please.

Everyone will be happier. Promise.

weekend!

Had a fun fun weekend!

Saturday --
Got a treat at The Spa for an aromatherapy message. Divine! Granted, the place was a little small (went to The Spa in GB1) and there were only about 10-12 rooms in total. But the massage was great and the service was excellent. Kulang nalang buhatin ka nila to the room. Hahaha! :) After the massage, Dennis and I watched School for Scoundrels, which is your typical loser-gets-a-grip-and-goes-for-the-girl type of movie. Funny flick, especially with Ben Stiller's cameo role. After the movie, we hiked off to Metrowalk for dinner & drinks with Anna and Ian, Kaye and Rap. Twas fun, though the place had to close early and Kaye had one of her infamous tummy troubles.

Sunday --
After going to the temple, Dennis and I hung out at his house while we waited for his cousin Ven to text us when they're ready to go. Ven and her hubby are visiting from Taiwan and we were gonna take them out in the afternoon before the family dinner at night. Twas so traffic, that we ended up in Gateway around 4pm na. We ate a bit (Ven is 5-months preggy and is constantly hungry) and shopped around a bit too. Ven is so daldal, she's so cute. She had, like, a million questions for me, and was delighted to discover I could speak conversational Mandarin. Her hubby, who couldn't speak a word of English, showered me with compliments, like how I was very pretty, very classy and I was the epitome of the type of girl Taiwanese moms were hunting down for their sons to marry. And he even cautioned Dennis, in all seriousness, that if he doesn't hold on to me, take care of me and marry me, thousands (OA noh, thousands!) will swoop down ready to take over his place. Hahaha! Dennis' face was priceless-- he looked so disbelieving that this guy whom he just met had all that to say to him. Kulang nalang ung thought bubble na:"What the?!" Haha!

The family dinner afterwards was fun too. Dennis' mom was on a roll, telling us stories of Dennis and his brother as little kids. Hahaha! And Ven kept injecting "So when are you getting married?" every 5 minutes or so that Dennis whispered to me, "Why is she so insistent on us getting married? It's freaky!" Hahaha!

In short, I had a blast of a weekend. Wish every weekend was like that. :-)

love @ first sight

Had my eye on you ever since I saw you launched in HK earlier this year. If I had the full-amount in cash, I'd buy you right now. But alas, for now, you're but a dream---

Presenting, the OMEGA Constellation My Choice Iris watch in two-toned white & yellow gold with diamonds and multi-colored precious stones. Beautiful---

i don't get you, girl...

My friend K (hmm.. seems like I have lots of friends with names beginning in K to write about, hehehe) told me yesterday that she and her long-time boyfriend have just paid the reservation fee on a condo unit in the Fort that's pre-selling now, for turn-over in 2009. I immediately asked a couple of questions, just to ensure she knows what's she's getting herself into). I asked, firstly, if plans for an engagement are underway.. Really underway-- in the truest meaning of the word. For her sake, I wanted her to have something concrete to hold on to. It doesn't have to be a rock. Just his word. And maybe some demonstrations to prove that he's serious.

I was disappointed. He hasn't given her any concrete assurances about marrying her. The ONLY thing he's said and has therefore committed to is the purchase of this condo unit. He hasn't even told his parents he's buying property with K, which K (rather fumbly, I thought) excused him for by saying they both (really, them both?) didn't want to upset his parents by telling them they don't plan on joining the family compound. I don't care if the freakin' parents get upset; I want him to tell them he intends to marry her. If he can't even utter the words, how in heaven's name will he be able to walk down the aisle?

She told me too that they'll be splitting the condo costs. He'll pay the first 6 amortizations, while she pays the second half. Admittedly, the payments will drain her funds and will even require her to downsize her life for a while, just to keep afloat. She has also enlisted her parents to lend her some money to pay for her share of the reservation fee. All that is okay with me, don't get me wrong. Nowadays, I know how expensive property is, and I know that it's only realistic for her to put in her share too. BUT ONLY if she's definitely, 100% sure that he will not leave her hanging 12 months from now. Darn it, she expects a proposal before 2006 ends and she's already anticipating her wedding next December (even to the extent of telling her boss she'll be on leave December of 2007). My worries even go beyond superstition at this rate. It's not about jinxing things anymore-- it's about jumping in blind faith, with no safety net.

Desperation is what I saw in her eyes and in every word she uttered in her attempt to convince me (or was it really me she was trying to convince?). I felt so bad for her, but hey, what else can I say? What else can I say that will not make this thing even more embarrassing for her, even more painful, even more scarring? She knows all the risks; she's not dumb.. She's just wishing against all odds, hoping against all hopes, that despite her greatest fears, he will pull through for her in the end. Maybe it's not the way I would've dealt with this had this be happening in my life and not hers. Maybe I'd choose to go a different route instead. Maybe I'd gamble my remaining reproductive months or years just to insure my heart and my sense of dignity. I may want to do it another way but hey, bottom line, this is her life and her choice on how to live it. Being her friend, I can hope for her best fortune and can only be there for her if her dreams don't come true.

I really really hope I'm wrong. They say a leopard cannot change its spots and that old habits die hard. Please let him be an exception to the rule.

customized M&Ms

Ain't these cute? Presenting.. customized M&Ms.

You can put anything you want in your own personal version of M&Ms chocolates-- you can put a logo or brand name if you want them as corporate giveaways or a message if you want to give them as a personal gift. You can also choose if you want certain colors only or if you want them all jumbled up in the bag.

Would have loved ordering a couple of bags of these to give as Christmas gifts this season... Too bad they don't ship to places outside of the US and Canada...

In front you have-->


Then flip to the back and you'll see-->

pig-out day

I love days like today where I can just lie in bed, nap for hours and hours on end, lazily read books and magazines, watch old Sex & the City and Friends re-runs, and pig out to my heart's content. It's been a while since I've done this, and I was definitely reminded of how good it feels to just do nothing.

True, I'm probably a few calories heavier now and there are probably a ton of zits waiting to pop out under my skin, from all the chips and cookies I consumed. I think a few brain cells have committed suicide for the lack of intellectual stimulation today, and I'm also feeling a bit sluggish and lethargic from all the napping. It's been truly a day full of everything-you-shouldn't-do-if-you-don't-want-to-grow-old-and-fat. But hey, I may not want to do this everyday of my life, but once in a while, it sure does rock. Who says a girl can't take a break? :-)

La Cocina

Still on a high from my fabulous birthday weekend---

I have just decided now: I'll set aside a portion of my yearend bonus to treat my beloved beau to a romantic dinner at La Cocina de Tita Moning. For a change, ako naman ang magtetreat sa kanya to a five-star, two-thumbs-up kind of place.

It's a super-fine-dining restaurant set in an ancestral home within the vicinity of Malacanang. It's supposedly frequented a lot by Pres. GMA... Not that I put premium on what she thinks, but hey, it's interesting to note.

More details here in case you want to know more: http://www.lacocinadetitamoning.com/

You will see if you look at the menu listings that the dishes there are ordered in sets or in full courses.. and they are not very shy to reflect the skyrocketing costs of each menu. Obviously, it's for a special occasion. ... Or for a special person, whichever the case may be.

Great, now I have a reason to save and not spend my money on the trinity of clothes/bags/shoes... (wink wink) Lord please give me the willpower to see this through.

:)

birthday weekend

Had the most perfect, perfect, perfect birthday!

The eve of the big day was spent with my darling FILC girls and their respective mates. Except for Anna, that is, because she suddenly got these strange red spots all over her body, which later on turned out to be measles (Get well soon, Anna! Let us know when we can visit!) The evening was full of good conversation and lots of laughs. It was so good to see the guys getting along very well. :)

The main day kicked off to a good start with a phone convo with my bestest friend. Despite the challenges facing her daily life, Li still took time to greet me and to spare a few minutes of precious free time to have a little birthday chat. I miss her no less after the talk and I know nothing beats physical togetherness, but still, it felt really good to hear her voice on my birthday..

Presents abound from all corners, of course-- But by far the best present of all came from Dennis, who gifted me with a beautiful exquisite Swarovski crystal necklace ---


Nothing has ever hung prettier on my neck :)

Wrapped up the evening with a quiet dinner for two and a kick-ass movie. (Watch The Prestige when you can. You won't be disappointed!).

Today, on the other hand, was spent at the temple and with my family. As usual, I'm as full as ever from the enormous dinner feast we had :)

Thank you so much for the gift, babe, I looooooove it! You're the best boyfriend ever!

hmmm.....

Today got me thinking again--

I know I have a future in the corporate world in the sense that I know I can survive (and most probably thrive) in it for most of my productive years. I know that I have enough skills to really last here and make my living out of making companies more profitable... I can probably stay here for a good 10 or 20 years and retire with a hefty pension.. There is stress, for sure, and pressure to make the numbers, but the risk is contained within the company. I will never have to worry about where the business is headed, where to get more investors, who among my children will succeed me, etc. I can enjoy all 15 of my vacation days, and I can live through my weekends in peace.

On the other hand, my brother broached the topic again today of setting up my own business.... It may not make the billions and billions of revenues that my present company makes but at least it's my own.. It's my own labor of love, and it will allow me to take more control of my time and my resources. True, it entails more risk and more worries and pressure, but at least, at the end of the day (or decade), I have a legacy to pass on.. If you gotta be stressed anyway, might as well be stressed over something that's yours, as opposed to getting worried over the revenues of a company who might redundate you once you become too expensive.

Ay ewan!

the stuff ain't old.. they're CLASSIC...

In spite of the holiday tomorrow, I didn't feel like going out tonight coz I'm still getting over the weekend. Feel like we filled it with too many things.. My body is still aching from all the walking and walking and... you get my drift... My beau feels the way too, so I think I have a valid point..

Anyway, spent a good portion of this evening looking through old stuff.. That is, apart from watching MSKM (Don't get what that means? Don't worry, it's a code only the super cool people alive understand).

By "old stuff", I don't mean ancient stuff hiding in my closet or stuffed under the bed. I mean "soft copy" stuff-- i.e. emails, files, documents in my aging, hanging-in-there-with-age laptop, written or created many many months or years ago... that I still find so meaningful to this day.

They're not meaningful as in tear-jerking stuff. They're meaningful in a that's-so-classic-of-me (or insert loved one/friend's name here). They're frozen in time, only relevant in that span of time it transpired, but still convey as much punch tonight as they did then. It's so cool to go back to old conversations, copies of old YM conference trails, files of old emails and notes that paint a perfectly faithful picture of instances in the past that are so much fun to wist over now. I love it!

Much like how tangible gifts or items can bring back such vivid memories of the past, so can their not-so-tangible, soft-copy versions. These are definitely stuff to cherish, for they are not "old" nor "worthless". They're classic.

Favorite line in a certain email shared with me by a friend -->
We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. So find a partner who will honor that and cherish the fact that you're the kind of person who knows who she is and refuses to live life any other way.

=)

I wonder how it feels...

to feel like the world is your oyster? To grow up never having a reason to think otherwise?

I was chatting with my friend K earlier this morning.. She talked about settling into her new life in Harvard Business School.. furnishing her brand-new apartment, organizing a block get-together for her new classmates, shopping for fall and winter clothes, preparing for her first Christmas in her new home, excitedly going on and on about her new classes, her casebooks, her new schoolmates... her new world... She even showed me some pictures online, but they were not necessary to help me get a picture of the spanking new, spanking cool life she's effortlessly stepped into.

Hay... My friend K... whose freedom and the resources I've always envied ever since we were little tots. The sheer lack of anything to tie her down, the lack of worries on how to afford it all, the lack of accountabilities for being the big financial overhead she's been to her parents all this time... it's such a precious privilege-- and a privilege she's had all her life. She embarks on various adventures and experiences with that characteristic carefree outlook of hers. She lives life to the hilt-- in fact, living it up has been the only way she's ever lived.

I'm sure anyone else would love to be like that. To always feel on top of the world and have all its possibilities at the tips of your fingers. To feel like anything is possible, that the entire world is up for your taking, that you can make dreams come true at will... That you can be anyone you want to be, when you want to be.

I envy her for the rich experiences she's had in her young 24 years of life. At this young age, she's already seen three-fourths of the world. I envy the opportunities she's been presented with by her parents, who demand nothing and give everything. Sometimes I fear she's grown up carrying a false impression of the world and of life, that she thinks everything is so easy to get and so easy to let go of, that everything and everyone will always be available to her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That when a day comes that her parents can no longer be there for her, someone else will step up and fill their shoes. That she'll never be left wanting, or wishing, or needing. I hope that day never comes, but it sure is going to be a cold awakening. When you've been built up so high and you've been configured to expect the sky's the limit, the crash down is going to be a hard hard fall.

I love her with all my heart, and I truly truly hope this day never comes. Because always feeling like the world's your oyster has got to be the best feeling in the world. And all my friends deserve that. :)

Have a blast in HBS, K!

FILC + boys :)

Had a blast of a Saturday. After a full day implementing a TV launch and a full late-afternoon judging an IMC presentation, I wound down my tired brain with a good dinner and a few drinks with my FILC girls and our S.O.s (plus one British guy). This is the first time we set up plans that included the boys....

The funny thing with that evening, though, was that the four of us didn't really spend as much time catching up with each other and talking as we did checking out how the boys were doing and getting all giddy over the fact that they got along well. Hahaha! It was a riot! Hahaha!

But it was cute to realize how much it really mattered for us to see our boys getting along well and enjoying each other's company. For a first get-together of the 4 of them, it was a smashing success. Dennis doesn't usually warm up to people until, like, the 3rd or so meeting.. but that night, he was on a roll! I was so surprised to see him joking around and laughing with guys he met for the first time that night (well, except for Rap, who's like a regular gym buddy to him now, haha!) The boys totally didn't disappoint! How cool! :-)

lori + gladys = spending money

To maximize the remaining days of Loraine being my officemate, we played hooky this lunchtime and hiked off to Rockwell for a good 2.5 hours just walking around, eating and.. of course.. shopping.

That is, apart from the fact that I had bought a pair of sandals from her earlier that morning-->



Ikaw.. Nadali mo na naman ako-->



And so a number of bills vacated their short-lived spots in my wallet yet again... Hahaha! Oh well... My rationale is: I won't get to see Loraine everyday anymore pretty soon.. so might as well get a few souvenirs to remember the last days by...

YEAH RIGHT! What a load of B.S. Hahaha!

here we go again....

the jologs part of me only comes out when this happens...

JL has another soap out! YEAH!

After insisting to my boyfriend the other day that we MUST be at home by the time 9:30pm rolls in, because it's the premiere of Maging Sino Ka Man, I was soooo not disappointed. It may very well have no relation to the story, to the production, to the other actors.. but the very fact that my most favorite actor is there... that's enough for me. I was totally unfit for any kind of human interaction all throughout the show-- you could be talking to me, screaming into my eardrums... I wouldn't mind you. My eyes were transfixed onto the screen until the credits rolled.

Haha! This all sounds so pathetic!

But what can I say... I'm addicted. I love JL!

For all you closet jologs out there, you can check out Maging Sino Ka Man via---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNILibA2o0w