LIT session #3, donor session #1

Donor needed

So, the LIT didn't work, at least not with Dennis' blood. The doctor reassured us it's quite common among the Chinese, maybe because Chinese couples tend not to intermarry, for many many generations, hence our blood may be a bit too alike. So the next course of action is to get donated blood from someone not Chinese and see how I respond after 2 sessions. The theory is the more foreign the blood source, the better the reaction.

At first we thought of who among our friends can be asked to donate. But then when you take into account the preparation, screening of blood (also an extra expense), additional time and the drive to Katipunan, times 2 for 2 sessions, it's quite a lot to ask of someone as a favor. So we opted to go with the clinic's stable of donors, who sell their blood for 1,000 per session, and who have already been screened. And this way, only my and the doctor's schedule will be taken into account. The donor will usually just follow the sched. 

So there you go. I'll do the first session tomorrow. Another 17k (times two!) about to go down the drain. I don't mean to complain but a part of me is frustrated it didn't work with Dennis when I had such high hopes it would. Although, I did mention here that the second round using Dennis' blood didn't seem to register much of a reaction. Maybe that was a clue. 

On the other hand, my thyroid seems to have responded to medication and has improved and decreased to the acceptable level. So it's the LIT nalang and we should be good to go back to Kato. 

Yesterday we were at a birthday party with Dennis' law school friends and I realized with sadness that out of about 12 couples, it's just us and another couple (who incidentally is also doing LIT and acupuncture in the same places that we go to!) that have yet to have a little one. Infertility can be horribly and painfully isolating, and that was probably one of the worst isolation moments for me. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I can't help it. It seems like everyone has eventually gotten there at one point or another, even those that had a bit of difficulty too and used to consult me on treatment options. Then there's us. Can't help it, it also feels really unfair and very cruel. Of all people, why us? 

Ok, pity party is over. It's a holiday today and we're doing a GoT marathon. Happy vibes only. While I can't change our situation, I can always manage my attitude about it. It's normal to feel down but there's always the choice not to stay down. 

Fight! LIT, be nicer to me this time around!

Downton Abbey and The White Queen

A bit of a break from the infertility talk, lest people think I am not capable of thinking of or talking about other things apart from infertility :p Let's talk about TV series!!!

I've recently discovered two titles that I couldn't stop watching. I couldn't believe I've gone on without seeing them earlier! One is the White Queen, a British television drama series with just 10 episodes, written as a combination of the bestselling historical novels of Philippa Gregory -- The Cousin's War, composed of three installments The White Queen, The Red Queen and the Kingmaker's Daughter. A mix of love story, magic, medieval royalty and war, it was so engaging from start to finish that I often sneaked in an episode or two in the evenings before I slept even if I could barely keep my eyes open :p

The other one is Downton Abbey, a multiawarded British costume drama television series, set in a fictional country estate of the same name. It tells the story of the aristocratic Crawley family and their servants, set in the picturesque and elegant post-Edwardian era, with big events in world history set as the backdrop of the storytelling. For instance, the first episode was told as an offshoot of the sinking of the Titanic while the last episode of Season 1 was set amidst the start of the first world war.

I love how the era is presented in this series in such an elegant and beautiful way, with social graces being a top priority in the way people dealt with each other, where men were all gentlemen regardless of rank, and all women were ladies. Please do watch it!

Sharing...

I shared our story under a pseudonym and through BabyHopeful, to try to raise awareness and help other people out. 

Also want to share this photo I found online and I felt is such an apt answer to my boss who recently asked me at what point do I give up on my dream--

I know he is very professional, sometimes to the point of being cold, and he never underwent anything remotely near what we're going through. But still. Insensitivity is one of society's worst crimes against infertility sufferers. This is a good answer to that question. 

Hey, hubby, it's your birthday! :p

It's my darling husband's birthday today. I don't know where I'd be without him -- he who has stood by me, loved me, accepted me, cherished me, believed in me through both the best of times and the worst of times. So on the occasion of his 35th birthday, I :

- thank the good God above for leading me to him and for paving the very smooth way for us to get together and be together.

- thank him for :
(1) loving my family and taking them as his own
(2) loving me through our bout with infertility, which has yet to mark its happy ending, and for wanting it to conclude happily as much as I do
(3) always giving me the benefit of the doubt, sometimes even when I don't deserve it
(4) always making me feel beautiful, even in those first few minutes in bed after waking up wherein I know I am nowhere near presentable
(5) making me laugh, making me smile and making me blush
(6) thinking of me first and foremost, in everything in life
(7) providing for me and our home
(8) dreaming the same dreams as I do and working his hardest to make them come true

- promise him even happier and fuller next 35 birthdays and beyond (all the way up to 90!)

This is for you. The perfect song for our perfect love :)

All of Me

Happy birthday, my love!

Photo with Fuji on her baptism :)

LIT working....? I hope....

I just notice today that my second LIT is not making a mark. Literally. My skin is just a tad reddish but apart from that, nothing else. Here it is at Day 5 post-injection -

In fact, the two little red dots you see there are leftover marks from my first session. Then you see a little reddish area with a greenish bruise-like tinge, then that's it! No bump. No irritation. No itch. 

I wonder what this means. I hope it bodes well for me. 

Updates

Had our second LIT session last Saturday --

Dr Aleta gave me instructions to do another blood test in two weeks so we can see if the treatment is working. If not, we would need to look for another donor. Apparently, some patients who have friends who are also undergoing the same thing can swap blood samples. This makes things easier because at least you know your donor and the donor won't feel so inconvenienced since it's an x-deal. Good thing, Dennis and I both have friends who are doing LIT too. So if ever we need more sessions and a different  donor, we have standby already. 

In other news, it was baby Fuji's baptism the other day. Here she is in her pretty pink lacey dress :)

Love love love!

More surprises. And confusion.

So the other day, I got my NK cells results and wanted immediately to go see Dra Velez to get an interpretation. Recall that as of my first visit to her, I was still lacking my NK panel results. So, when I got them the other day, I sent her the results via email and texted her to see if I can meet her that day. I quite liked her during our first meeting, so I was hopeful to get the same reception and same level of care. More than that, I was hopeful that my results meant I don't have to deal with NK issues, as they are the mother-fucker of fertility immunology conditions and are SO expensive to hurdle.

Lo and behold, she told me that judging from my results, I would need intralipid infusion therapy, hereby defined as: "Intralipid infusion therapy is a treatment, which is administered through an IV drip in the arm made from soya bean oil, egg yolk, glycerin and water. Intralipid Infusion therapy provides the body with essential fatty acids that help to lower the activity of Natural Killer (NK) cells." I started to worry, first about what this means for our IVF attempts then secondly about what it means financially. Each infusion costs a pretty significant 5-digit figure each time, and from what I know, I'll need several rounds to keep the NK cells from acting up. She said that a certain CD36 level was high, so I needed these treatments to stabilize them. I didn't quite understand. The text was short and didn't really provide enough explanation.

So I texted her back and asked if I could see her. I also called her landline to ask the nurse if I can get squeezed in. At this point, there was a good hour before her appointment schedule was over for the day.

Then I got brushed off - she essentially asked me to ask my LIT doctor about it since she may also perform it anyway. Whuuuut?! Is this because I chose not to get my LIT injections through her clinic, which was charging a good 8-9k MORE than the clinic in Katipunan?! Is this politics at work?! OMG.

Anyhow, I decided to ignore her and made a plan to see a different doctor - Dra Aleta, who held clinic in RAI Center in SLukes. Incidentally, this is also the doctor who gave me the LIT injections and who I think owns the Katipunan blood lab. Her appointment schedule was that same afternoon, so I figured I'll just go to her to get the results explained. I couldn't wait another day before getting the interpretations and the implications.

This is when I started getting really confused. Dra Aleta basically had opposite interpretations and recommendations as Dr Velez, save for the LIT which they both agree I needed. Dra Aleta told me that she is concerned about my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) levels because while they are normal for an average adult who is not trying to get pregnant, the levels are also way beyond the maximum of 2.0 that is optimal for those who do want to get pregnant. So she recommended that I took thyroid hormones to lower this level of TSH so I can reach the optimum level before I restart IVF. She also told me I didn't need intralipid infusions because the NK cells level result I have is within range. She also asked me to do 2 more tests, because all the paperwork I showed her still lacked 2 more tests to complete the fertility immunology workup.

I was stumped. How can two doctors say exactly the opposite things when looking at the same sheets of paper!?

I then turned to Dr Google - aka the repository of knowledge when one is stumped and has no one (at least no living, breathing person) to turn to.

So far, my research has supported Dra Aleta's assertions. My TSH level is indeed below fertility-optimal levels. I also read that the NK cells level she was reading seems to be within normal range. So so far, Dr Google affirmed Aleta's reading and not Velez's. I don't know what to make of this.

Even my husband, who is a biology major, is stumped. He doesn't want me taking hormones until the recommendation is validated by a 2nd opinion. So I made an appointment with another immunologist, who is actually my sister-in-law's immunologist, to get his reading on the matter. Hopefully he aligns with Aleta too so that I can move forward with her recommendations, because I am sick of just standing in place! Part of me wants to get moving already with our embryos and start trying again. But the other part does understand that I need to sort out these immunology stuff to better optimize my system to receive my embryos. But waiting sucks! This third doctor, Dr Gloria, is apparently super duper busy and is only available next Wed. Next Wed! A full week from now. A full week wasted. Grrr. The OC in me is not pleased.

But Dennis is adamant that I get his opinion first. So wait is all I can do for now. And research.

Hay.  Waiting sucks. Being confused sucks.

:-S

Blogs that inspire me in this journey

Part of the survival kit for infertility is to look for other people going through infertility and deriving inspiration from them. Here are two of my favorite blogs --

1. A husband and wife team-up :
http://ourmisconception.blogspot.com/

2. A witty ex-marketer, now SAHM living a life totally different from what she envisioned :
http://scrambled-eggs.org/

Enjoy!

Slowly getting better!

Day 5 after LIT -- still two big, angry, insect bite-looking spots with a bit of a rash and a bit of itching left over.

Hopefully it'll be gone by the weekend. Next round in about 9 days' time! 

First immunology treatment

So I just did the first of hopefully only 2 LIT sessions last Sat. The nurse came over at 6am as agreed and extracted 10 vials of blood from a sleepy, groggy Dennis. I'm a bit nervous at this point because I had forgotten to tell Dennis to abstain from alcohol the night before, and he had gone out with friends Friday night and of course had several rounds of scotch. After researching online, I found out that alcohol is counter-indicated because it tends to lower white blood cell count and tends to water down blood - both not good effects we want on our LIT day. 

Oh well. Guess my husband has tons of blood because when we got to Bloodworks at 10:30am, we found out that they were still able to extract the needed amount of white blood cells. 

So Dr Aleta injected me on the left arm, in 2 injection sites to spread the concentration of the "foreign bodies" for better absorption. It hurt a bit - like being stung by a bee - for about 10 seconds, then it burned.... And burned. 

She had to cover it with bandage to cover it from sunlight. 

So this is how it looks like with bandage -

This is how it looks without it. You'll see two very angry shot marks and the beginnings of a bad, itchy rash --

You also see the bruise on the inside of my elbow -- which I have on BOTH arms. Hideous, I know. But a necessary side effect of all the blood draws I need to get on a very frequent basis. 

So now it's been 2 days after the procedure and I'm happy to report I think I reacted sufficiently to the treatment. Hopefully this means it's working and I reach the required minimum 80% level after the second treatment. 

Wish me continued luck!

Embryologist Consult

So we went to see the embryologist and Dr Mendiola today to find out the status of our embryos. Recall that last June 11, I had my egg retrieval procedure which resulted in the ff:
> 2 mature eggs
> 1 semi-mature (called M1) egg
> and, 2 immature eggs that will be subjected to IVM or in vitro maturation, which hopefully results in their upgrading to mature grade

So after 9 days, here are the results:
> Mature Egg 1 was able to be grown into a Day-2 embryo by June 13 and was frozen as the backup embryo to be transferred if all else fails (scary phrase)
> Mature Egg 2 grew to Day 5 but degenerated by the time Day 6 rolled around
> Semi-mature M1 egg grew but very slowly... only 2 cells by Day 2 and compaction-stage by Day 5, whereas normally, embryos should reach blastocyst stage by this time. It finally reached blastocyst stage by Day 7 (two additional days after the average), and was frozen. This will be our priority contender come transfer time.
> The 2 immature eggs did not make it to maturation.

So we have 2 embryos - a blastocyst and a Day-2-er. Funny, I even gave the 'transfer one or two' thing quite a deep think; yet, it turns out I don't even have that as a choice. We'll transfer the blastocyst first, it being the higher-odds of the two, when I'm ready for the transfer. Day-2-er will be the backup for a future cycle.

Dr Mendiola was very patient with our questions and also assured me that the embryos can stay frozen until my immunologist clears me of the auto-immune issues I have. He has heard of LIT therapy and agreed that it's better to get them done and cleared before going for a transfer.

I'm a bit bummed, to be honest, that we only have 1 of each type. I honestly thought one of the immature eggs would catch up, and then hopefully we have 2 or even 3 blastocysts. I guess I'm just an overachiever by nature and by heart and I guess I expected a lot from my embryos as well. Or maybe a part of me felt that I wanted at least a part of this process to be 'perfect', even if the others aren't. I dunno. Dennis is more optimistic than I'm feeling right now.

Ironically, it's the semi-mature egg that made it to blastocyst stage, and the mature one fizzled out right before it reached it. Funny how nature works. This also gave me an idea of what may have happened during our first IVF round -- maybe that embryo is similar to Mature Egg 2... They're both perfect contenders on Day 2 (IVF round 1 embryo was a Day 2 transfer, if you recall) but didn't result into anything at the end.

Funny.

In an unfunny way.

Oh well.

So tomorrow, we're doing our first LIT treatment. I found this provider based in Katipunan that does home service of the husband blood draw, which saves us the trouble of trekking up to Katips at the crack of dawn (FYI, LIT sessions always involve an early-morning blood draw from the husband because it takes about 4 hours to process the blood to isolate only the lymphocytes, before it is ready to be injected into the wife's... forearm! I don't know why they particularly chose the forearm, as it sounds like a painful transfusion site to me... Anyway...) So they'll arrive at our condo at 6am, get Dennis' blood out into 5-6 vials, and then we're supposed to go to their clinic by around 10:30 or so for me to get the lymphocyte transfusion. Then we'll see how my body reacts to it. From my understanding, the more violent the reaction (i.e rashes, boils-looking angry red inflammations, etc), the better. It is supposed to mean that my body is 'reading' Dennis' genetic material and a 'battle' is being waged, hence starting the assimilation process. The objective is for my immune system to read, recognize and accept Dennis' genetic material as non-threats. Very sci-fi, right?

On my way back to the office earlier from Kato, I couldn't help but cry as I talked to our future child in my thought-voice (of course, I was being chauffeured back, so it was just thoughts running through my idle, in-transit head), telling him or her that, see, this is how much mommy and daddy love you. This is how much we are fighting for you -- that we fight even for your conception to happen, for your implantation to happen, for YOU to happen. It's not meant to be compared to people blessed with natural pregnancies. It was just an expression of the magnitude of sacrifice that we're doing --- a level of sacrifice that sometimes overwhelms me beyond comprehension. We love you, advocate for you and fight for you, even when you are simply an idea, a dream, a hope in the hopefully-not-distant future. We sacrifice so much, to the point that we even 'play' with our health, just to have even the smallest chance of YOU happening. Love. That's all this is all about.

Love.

When you do come around, and I believe in my bones that you will (and you're just choosing when to make your grand entrance), boy, will you be the most loved and cherished child that ever graced this world. If I can bottle up all my hopes and dreams for you, all my fears and doubts, all my pain and endurance, I would, if it can remind you everyday just how WANTED you are.

I love you already.

Another unpleasant surprise!

So I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was going to do an immunology workup after the first ivf failed. Partial results came out today and the second part which tests for 1 other condition will come out in 2 weeks. 

Surprise! Of the 4 conditions that my results tested for, I have 3 of them. Wow! Talk about a curveball. Curveball because my OB previously told me he doesn't think I fit the profile of someone with immune issues and because, as Dennis' logic goes, how much odds can a couple really take?

Well, I guess fate had other plans. 

First, I have an autoimmune condition VS my husband's (or any other unrelated person) genetic material. If the last ivf did implant for a while, the uterus becomes a hostile environment for it soon after, because my system reads his DNA (which is half of the embryo) as foreign and should be attacked. The solution for this is to do a LIT treatment - lymphocyte immunology treatment or paternal lymphocyte treatment. It involves getting blood from the husband and washing it to isolate the white blood cells. Then infuse this into the wife so that her system can be taught to accept his DNA as "friendly" and not hostile. The immunologist I saw today says that she thinks I'll reach normal levels after at least 2 sessions. And once I do reach the minimum of 80% on this test, I can proceed with the IVF. 

The treatment cost is quite significant too but I don't wanna dwell on it, simply because we'll do it anyway. No use pining over the money. 

Second, I have autoimmune against... Myself! The manifestation of this is blood clotting -- no wonder my legs often feel painful especially when I get my period. It means my blood coagulates as an autoimmune reaction. The treatment for this will be aspirin and daily heparin shots which I'll administer on myself. 

Third, I have thyroid issues. This needed some deep-diving which led me back to the lab today to get more blood drawn out. At this rate, I think my hemoglobin count must be so low already with all the blood draws!

Another test which I'll get in 2 weeks' time will count by natural killer cell count. This is the mother-fucker autoimmune condition of all -- I pray I don't have it. It makes one not able to be pregnant at all and the treatment entails massive amounts of money -- and that says a lot because in our 3 years of infertility, I think I've grown a tolerance for this kind of spending. I pray I don't have it. Please please please. 

I'm so tired. Seriously. What else is out there for us to conquer before we have a healthy baby in our midst?! Dennis breaks down every time we face a challenge and I myself don't know how much longer I can put up a brave front. The fighting spirit that we wring out painfully from our hearts gets a bad bad beating throughout every cycle that doesn't work and every condition that gets uncovered. This is bordering on traumatic, to be honest. And I don't know how much stronger we can remain to be for long. 

Then again, it must be even more painful to lose hope. So we live to fight another day. LIT session 1 will be this Saturday. Fight!

ER Attempt #2!

So I had my egg retrieval (ER) yesterday morning. We got to Kato before 8am and the experience was a bit different for me now that it's my second time to do the procedure. Things felt faster, I think... Or maybe because I was less apprehensive and nervous and more "in control" due to the sense of familiarity. 

After being prepped, it was my turn at around 8:30am. I was surprised to see it was Dr Mendiola- Kato's head practitioner- who was going to do my procedure that morning. Just like the last time, the OR was filled with doctors (Dr Ong-Jao and Dr Perillo were both observing) and nurses and embryologists. Kato's super professional way was such that every single action and result obtained was checked and validated. It made me feel at ease. 

So after cleaning and administering local anesthesia, Dr Mendiola started the procedure by popping the more visible follicles. This process was much more painful than the first time, mostly because it involved multiple follicles. The sensation is half a sharp pain when the needle would  permeate the follicle and an acute sucking pain when the fluid and egg were being suctioned out. 

Anyway, to spare you the yucky details, I was able to generate 5 eggs -- 2 mature, 1 semi-mature and 2 immature. We initially thought we could harvest 8, but it turned out that one was a cyst disguising as a follicle, another one was a follicle but didn't carry an egg inside it, and the 8th one didn't show up for the party. So 5 is what we have. I was happy to know that Kato did in-vitro maturation, which essentially means lab-controlled maturation of an immature egg. This means that our semi-mature egg has about 80% chance of maturing whereas our 2 immature ones have about 25%. I'd take those odds over zero, which is the case if they didn't do IMSI. 

So the plan recommended by the embryologist is to culture 1 egg to day-2 just like last time and culture the balance 2 eggs (or more if the immature ones catch up) to day-5 blastocyst. While there is a 50% chance of mortality among fertilized embryos cultured to day-5, they are believed to be stronger than day-2s and have better chances of implanting. The reserve day-2 one will be frozen and kept for future use. This method allows us to hinge on both styles and have some eggs in each basket, so to speak. 

Dennis also had a good production level yesterday. So happy!

So there. We're going back on June 20 to find out how many fertilized embryos survived the culture process and freezing. Hoping for 100% rate of survival! Please pray for our little embies!!!

Oh and since embryo transfer will be done next cycle, I have a month (roughly) to decide if I want to transfer 1 or 2 embryos. This is noting that ivf embryos tend to have a higher chance of splitting after implantation, resulting to identical twins. And noting that embryos do not have any dependencies on each other in terms of ability to implant, said Dr Mendiola. What this means is if we have 2 embryos that are likely to implant, they will likely both implant whether they were put in together to share a pregnancy or put in separately to be carried in 2 separate pregnancies. And noting that I have a heart-shaped bicornuate uterus that won't stretch as much as the average oblong ones of other women. But a part of me stubbornly feels 2 is better than 1. Hehe. No logical back-up for that sentiment though, and I know carrying twins (much more triplets if an embryo splits; and I refuse to entertain the idea of quadruplets!) is extremely difficult and carries significant risks for mommy and babies. 

I guess I already know the answer. The only upside of putting in 2 is it increases the chance of that particular cycle (but not the chance of each individual embryo, as I mentioned). This means that I can spare myself (and Dennis) the horrible emotional strain and pain of a failed cycle because the cycle has double the odds. Does that make sense? So it's just emotional self-preservation. Vs physical safety and health. I guess I know which one takes precedence over the other. We've just been carrying so much pain throughout this process I can't help but try to find a way to shield us somehow. 

Pray for us please!

Man's perspective

Rare does a man lend perspective on infertility. Much less a pastor! This is a good read and some parts brought tears to my eyes. A part of me feels that while we will be eternally and deeply grateful once we are blessed with a child, we'll also still carry with us a sense of PTSD over this infertility experience. Yes, as in post-traumatic syndrome. It's indeed so traumatic and the experience so unlike other challenges in life, that I think a part of me will never forget it. 

Anyway, here's the link -

http://natepyle.com/the-disgrace-of-infertility

Update!

My ovaries have cooked the eggs enough -- We have a retrieval schedule! It will be on Wed morning, and we're looking at getting at least 3 eggs up to a maximum of 8! Woohoo!

Praying everything goes well!

Waiting for egg retrieval part 2!

After taking minimal stimulation drugs the past week or so, we're now waiting for the schedule of when we can do egg retrieval. Hopefully we get at least 3 eggs and fertilize them. 

I thought that since we were doing minimal stimulation, there won't be side effects the way that traditional IVF patients report having. Turns out the side effects are definitely still noticeable and still quite substantial, to my surprise. I can't imagine how conventional ivf protocols feel at the stimulation period if I already feel like this under minimal stimulation. I'm so bloated and I feel my ovaries are so heavy. There's a strange heaviness that I carry around all day and the doc says that's because of the multiple eggs growing. I am also more irritable and prone to flaring up -- which if you know me well, you'd know is not my nature. I also feel really warm, which is made worse by not being able to drink cold drinks or eat ice cream, as prescribed by my acupuncturist. 

Oh well. I'm just complaining uselessly. The truth is, all this is acceptable and accepted in our quest for Baby Chan :)

Wish us luck today!

You said it!

This post totally gets my perspective about the lonely world of infertility -

https://medium.com/theli-st-medium/the-saddest-room-on-earth-cb2249250830

Please read it if you have time :)

Onto the next round

So, after 3 days from stopping all my medication, I got my period yesterday. This means today, I come back to KATO for another round. Yes, so soon. Yes, I know. 

A part of me was initially overwhelmed by the thought of doing it all again. But with courage shared by my husband, I realized that to stop would be an even scarier proposition.

So today will be the baseline blood work and ultrasound again, to measure readiness of my system for a fresh cycle. Wish us luck!

From what I understood during our initial briefing, if I go for a medicated cycle, we'll do egg retrieval and fertilization on month 1 and do embryo transfer on month 2. This timeline should work out vis-a-vis the immunological workup I'm doing on the side. The results should be out by then, before the embryo transfer. 

I know some people might find all this a bit too much to handle. Believe me, I feel that way sometimes too. But walking through this journey inevitably involves handling multiple considerations all at once, on top of the usual concerns in life and career. It's just the way it is. I read in an article by a reproductive endocrinologist that one thing he can say about infertility patients is that no doctor will ever find a more determined set of patients than those undergoing treatment to have a baby -- there is no patient more motivated, more willing and with more fight in them than people who want a child. This, according to him, is what makes them different from cancer patients. While some emotions may be the same (body is failing me, why me of all people, feels like I'm running out of time, money issues, etc), the reason to keep fighting among infertility patients is what makes them fight harder, longer. 

So here's to fighting again, giving it another shot. May this be it for us. Please!

Next Step: Immunological Workup

So, while waiting for my next cycle, I figured I might as well go for the immunological workup that I've been putting off (and also because Dennis doesn't want me to get it done because it's expensive and because his gut says it'll be negative anyway. Don't ask me why his gut has inputs on medical test results hehe :p )

There are 5 main possible immune problems in pregnancy, which you can get one or several of--
1. The couple's tissues are too compatible; the woman's body considers her placenta as foreign with her immune system activating against the baby
2. Blood clotting problems like APAS
3. An immune reaction to the baby (ANA antibody)
4. The couple produces antibodies to sperm which immobilize and destroy them upon contact
5. Certain white blood cells are overactive like NK (natural killer) cells

So to get tested for all these scenarios, I need to take 2 blood tests -- the first is a set of 5 types of tests, and costs about P12,000 cash. I did this this morning. The second blood test can only be done every Monday, and will cost a whopping 50,000+ pesos, because it's about $1,050 plus a P5,000 shipping fee, as the test can only be processed in the US. I almost fell off my chair when I got quoted the price. OMG.

A part of me shares Dennis' gut feel that I'll be negative for this test. But then, a part of me (a more logical part) says just do it, as knowledge is power. And I've always decided on these things based on what I can live with and what I can not. In this case, our bank account may take a bit of a blow but at least I'll have answers. No regrets.

So, I guess I'll do that the next Monday I can steal some time off work.

:-S

Speaking of work, yes, I'm back at work. Figured the sooner the rest of my life gets back to normal, the faster my heart will feel normal as well. It's still devastating to remember what happened, but we sincerely are recovering, I can feel it.

Please continue keeping us in your prayers.

'Til the next update!