May 10th

It's not my intention to make this a political blog. I just realized that this 2010 elections is probably my first time to feel this strongly about a candidate, believe in him so much and want him to win so badly I'm thinking of ways on how I can volunteer for him without compromising my safety or my schedule. Whenever I listen to Gibo, I am in awe of his vision for the Philippines and inspired by the clean, honest and respectful campaign he has run to date. I am not surprised at all at his 90% conversion rate- meaning, when people listen to him in any forum, they are convinced 90% of the time that he is the best man for the job. And truly, if you are open-minded and you give him the opportunity to tell you what he has planned, you will be just as convinced as me that he is the best option we have. I think he will represent us very well internationally, and he has a plan on how to move this country forward. He also oozes with sincerity whenever he speaks and I think it's commendable that he has mounted this campaign WITHOUT mudslinging, digging up dirt about opponents or talking badly about them. He keeps positivity at the heart of his campaign and as such, he has garnered the support of the youth. It's also worth considering that not one of his opponents have anything bad to say about him. In the way that Phil politics goes in this country, that is a feat in itself.

I wish soooo badly that he wins on May 10th. To the point that I pray to God that He helps Gibo win. I want this country to be better, to be safer, to be richer and to be stronger for my and everyone else's sakes, including my future kids. Let's vote green! :)

5 years na!

By next Wednesday, Atty and I would have been together for 5 years already. This will also be our last boyfriend-girlfriend anniversary, and that makes me feel a bit sentimental. I remember when we first started going out, the little discoveries we made of each other and the little adjustments that we had to make to make space for each other in our (already quite full) lives. I remember the days when we just met each other, our long talks that go late into the night, our first dates, the first time he met my family, the first time I met his and the first time we went to the temple together. I'm getting a bit wistful going through memory lane, thinking of the journey we've had and how everything has brought us to this point in time, 5 months from getting married and moving into our first home. I'm so grateful I met him. Life certainly became a whole lot more worth living :)

this week...

was one of the most tiring weeks of my life. Emotionally tiring, that is. I hate politics.

the big picture

You can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you find, you get what you need :)

The past few days have really been a growing-up period for me. First off, I had to adjust with the revelation at work that meant I had to get out of my comfort zone and dive in head-first into an unknown area of business and try to perform as well as I possibly can. All this while juggling my other considerations and leaving behind the team that I love so dearly.

Then yesterday was a day of reckoning in terms of my personal life, specifically our expenses and how our financial outlook as a couple will be in the next few years. I crunched some numbers and had the sinking realization that I could either get the honeymoon of my dreams or keep significant cushion money (aka buffer money) for our little nest egg to grow, given that the expenses we'll have when we get married practically equal what we bring home on a net basis. I knew I had a choice-- either I push for the honeymoon I want but pay for the price of uncertainty because that amount of money could've been our safety net... or I could postpone this dream of a trip and relish the security of knowing that I have some stash of money hidden away for a rainy day. I had to weigh my options and to be honest, at the core of me, I knew what the right thing to do was. It's the bratty side of me that was adamant on being able to go where we intended to go, but the mature me already knew what I had to do. Also, when I talked to Dennis, I was also given some discoveries, such as the fact that he had actually not minded where we go for our honeymoon, it doesn't have to be NYC. He just wanted to celebrate being married to me, and he only wanted to go to NYC because he knew how much I wanted it. Even if it meant forcing the issue financially, he would do it because he knew I wanted it and he already felt like I made so many compromises by agreeing to marry him (which, for the record, is sooo untrue). He said he understands our predicament but would support me in any choice I make.

I felt so bad that I had kept my eyes solely on the goal of going to NY that I had totally forgotten about the big picture. That we are in this to build a life together, not just a measly 7 or 8 days abroad. And I realized that the dream already is right in front of me, which is the dream of building a life together with the man I love and putting up a home to house that love. Everything else is a bonus, an optional thing, gravy or the cherry on top. I already have everything I need when I have this man who's willing to do anything he can to make me happy.

So without even waiting for him to ask me again, I've decided to forego the original plans and go for our Plan B, which, I must remind myself, is not that bad and is in fact pretty cool. We've decided to go to Japan instead, and this may actually end up being as good an option as NY, because not only will we be able to indulge in our favorite food (after Chinese, of course), we'll still be able to go to a cold place (which is what Dennis loves) and we will actually be going to a place that neither of us have ever been to. The downside of our original plan of Sing + NY was that both places are not new to me. With this new plan, we get the best of both worlds- Singapore is the place mired with personal history for me, yet we also share the experience of first-time travel in Japan. I don't at all feel shortchanged that the original plans won't push through. I have to admit, I spent the better half of yesterday and today feeling like I lost a dream, but now that I've allowed reality (and maturity) to sink in, I actually feel really good about this decision. This whole thing may turn out to be a blessing through and through after all. I not only feel better because I'm being more responsible, I am actually starting to get excited :) Which is what any honeymoon should be about anyway.

So yeah, this brings me back to the first sentence that starts this post. In the process of not getting what you (originally) wanted, you may just find that you instead just got what you really really needed. And at the end of the day, you find that what you've been reaching so far out for has always been within your reach. Right by your side.

:)

change is good? always?

A new change is upon me. Just when I thought I had enough on my plate, I now have to adjust to a TOTALLY new job effective April 15. I honestly feel torn over my reaction. On the "happy" side lies the opportunity for learning and the chance for professional growth. On the "unhappy" side lies the following:
- The new job is TOTALLY out of my comfort zone, i.e. I may not like it.
- The new job may entail A LOT of local travel, for which I'm not excited. It also can potentially be unfriendly towards my MBA schedule. Not to mention my bridal errand schedule.
- I am required to leave behind my team- composed of people who are not only dependable and loyal but who have become very good friends of mine over the years. This physically pains me, as in I feel a sharp ache in my heart when I think of the prospect of leaving them behind.

I've heard that change is good more times than I care to count, but sometimes I'm not too sure it's always applicable. I'm not sure if change for the sake of change can still be good, because I fail to see how having no rhyme or reason over a certain change can bring about any kind of (deliberately planned) good. It may accidentally become beneficial in the end, but would it be responsible to leave such a consequence to mere chance?

Ohwell. It's not like I have a choice in the matter. The alternative (i.e. protesting against the change or fighting for the status quo) will only make me look immature, not to mention unprofessional. So I just have to suck this up and HOPE that it goes well in the end.

i think i found my wedding shoes!

*just us*

I have a confession to make. These days, the wedding doesn't excite me very much. At least not in the way people would normally expect it to excite a bride-to-be. I don't know if it's because it involves so much stressful discussions, like what color does my MIL want for her dress or whether the cake we're eyeing is worth the cost or when the suits of the male entourage must get done. It may also be because I feel like the wedding is a (happy) occasion that we have no choice but to share with others. Don't get me wrong; I do not feel forced to share our big day with others. It's just that I'm taking it as a matter of fact (and a matter of life) that it's not just the 2 of us who're invested in the wedding. Our parents top the list of "other people who care about the wedding", followed by close family members and friends. And I don't mind that at all. I really don't. I love the fact that there are a lot of people who can't wait til our wedding. It would be really sad if otherwise. But, I can't help but feel then that the wedding is not "just ours", and to be honest, these days, the details about the wedding don't get a "woohoo" out of me as they would normally do.

What does get me excited though is the honeymoon. Imagining us on going to Singapore for the first phase of our honeymoon gets me excited like you wouldn't believe. Dreaming (and hoping against hope) that we get ourselves to NYC shortly thereafter gets me even more excited! So excited I could jump out of my bones in joy! Apart from the honeymoon, I can't help but find myself planning future trips together- I imagined going to Macau for Valentine's weekend next year or maybe even Japan for Holy Week 2011, if we can afford to. I guess it's also partly because up until we're married, Dennis and I haven't been anywhere (far) together, much less abroad. The farthest we've been to together is Tagaytay, and that was just a day trip. Because of our culture and the conservatism it espouses, we've really had overnight trips anywhere, so I guess this also contributes to my enthusiasm that, after Sept 19 this year, we can go anywhere we want to together :) The freedom and the opportunities it offers just can't help but get me really riled up! I can't wait!

Another reason is, because of how certain things panned out in Dennis' life so far, he hasn't really been to many places. In fact, when it comes to going abroad, he's only been to Taiwan and the States, and these trips happened when he was a little boy. He's never been to Singapore or even HK, much less other places I've been to like Canada, the Middle East, Australia, Hawaii or even China or Malaysia. Part of me feels really bad for him, because it seems unfair for him not to have had those experiences I've been fortunate enough to have. I know he doesn't agree, because those hard times in his past fortified him and made him every bit of the great guy he is now. I know those times were instrumental in making him the responsible, strong and grounded person I love so very much, and I'm very grateful. But all that doesn't change the part of me that wants to let him in on those travel opportunities I've had. I want him to see why travel is such a passion for me, how travel can change perspectives and mindsets, and what travel does to a person. I want us to jumpstart our marriage with adventures and discoveries- kickoff our union brimming full of experiences and rich memories. It's not about luxury, that's the least of my concerns, nor is it about indulgences. Far from it. I want to infuse travel into the early part of our marriage, because I know it'll be good for us. It'll be a great foot to start our life off on. I know it'll only be "just us" for a short while, before concerns about baby formula or playschool fill our conversations. So I'll know we'll be grateful to have had a good run at "just us", when we could :)

I don't know where all that outpouring of thoughts came from. I just updated our travel itinerary to Singapore (actually, I just bought us reserved seats), and got to surfing through the rest of Cebu Pac's website. And I got to thinking about this picture in my head of us having the adventure of a lifetime.

I love him. So very much. And I can't count down the days enough until "just us" starts :)

the happy decision

Reminder to self: Happiness is a choice- a decision- and has less to do with circumstances but more to do about your attitude towards circumstances.

MBA updates

OK, I'm wrapping up my 7th term as an MBA student (wow, has it been that long???) and just enrolled into my 8th term (FYI- after the 8th, there are 3 more to go until graduation! CAN THIS BE OVER ALREADY, PLEASE!). While it seems like time stood still for the longest time because of my seemingly unending MBA journey, the rest of my life seems to be going by in record time. Before I knew it, I'm about to enter the 5-month mark until our Mr-and-Mrs Day, and in about a month's time, we would've been engaged for a year already! How fast! Also, in a month or two, our condo would've been renovated already and it's time to bring in the furniture. Again, how fast! Next thing I know, it's my FILC bridal shower, then it's September (which is also budget season in Smart) and then the big day is here!

Anyway, this update is supposed to be about my MBA. Sometimes, I really have doubts on why I'm on this particular uphill battle, when it's completely optional. In fact, an overwhelming majority of my friends and colleagues do not carry MBA degrees, so there are days when I question myself and ask why the hell am I subjecting myself to this kind of torture. Why would I want to stay up some nights and study or read or write papers, when I could be out enjoying the last few months of singlehood? Why would I choose to wake up at 7am on a Saturday to make it to an 8am class in Taft, when I could be blissfully slumbering 'til a more decent hour and enjoy my weekends in full?

Believe me, such doubt-full days have come and they have come aplenty. But in the final analysis, I guess I am doing this for more than 1 reason, and these are all good reasons (at least except on days when I'm tired and stressed and overstretched and I'm cursing myself for being a masochist). These reasons are:

1. While I love my undergrad course, I do feel there are serious limitations and weaknesses to it, the biggest of which is the fact that marketing is not a stand-alone skill, especially when you intend to go up the corporate ladder and be a director or head in a business or corporation. It takes more than just marketing to make a business run, and I feel that a marketing background alone is not enough to arm oneself in debates in the boardroom or even civil discussions with colleagues in the elevator. I feel an MBA will make me more qualified in the next corporate progressions to come, and I want to be prepared. Granted, I still do feel that marketing is my biggest and best skill, but that doesn't mean I have to confine myself with marketing.

2. I do plan to have my own business in the future, so a holistic management orientation would definitely be helpful. As it is now, I find myself understanding the business side of things better than I did when I only had an IMC degree. So I think it's surely an advantage. I hate not being able to understand finance or HR or even operations when they discuss their issues with me; so what better way to understand them than to study what they are talking about. Not because I just want to know, but I feel that to have my own business in the future, I need to know what the other branches of management are dealing with.

3. I want to do this now that I am still single (not for long, I know) and without a baby in my life. I know that my priorities are bound to change and there will come a time when myself is not the only thing I have to think about or take care of. So now that I have the luxury and leisure of doing so, I figure, why not pursue something I've wanted for myself and something I can be proud of as a good, solid achievement? Something I want to be able to anchor myself on when a baby gets too demanding or sacrifices need to be made. I guess, bottom line, I do not want any regrets, which is why I'm pushing myself to make it to the MBA finish line. If I don't, I know I'll kick myself and live in regret in the future. I don't want any what-ifs. I don't want to live halfway.

There you go. I guess that's it. I need to be reminded of these things when I'm sitting at home on a Saturday working on an MBA paper when my friends and colleagues are at the JT concert. Haha! Ok, back to work :P

i surrender..

all my worries and troubles to You. I know You know what's best and I'll trust You'll only give us what we can handle and what we deserve.

Amen.

needs to be met

I know I'm blessed in so many ways, so please do not misinterpret this post as an ungrateful, selfish one, because it's anything but. I do not desire for more than I need, nor do I carry selfish motives in asking for this need to be filled. I just want a comfortable, pleasant home to come home to every night and face the day with every morning. And I believe this is not an overly extravagant thing to wish for.

So, in Chinese and Buddhist tradition, I pray to the God of Fortune to please help us secure the financial means to do the condo renovations and all accompanying costs they necessarily carry. I do not wish for over and beyond the basic things included in our scope of work for the condo. Please please please.

And thank you in advance :)

GIBO!!!!

I know that he's not the most popular candidate, nor the most funded one, but I am proud to tell whoever cares to ask that I'm voting for Gibo. I am a fervent believer that integrity is not a good-enough reason to vote for someone, and integrity isn't even a platform of government. I believe that any government position should be regarded as a profession, on top of being a calling. The "calling" part is hard to validate, as this is something that only the person concerned and God will know for sure if sincere. But the profession part can definitely be checked and ensured. And I know that I definitely look for credentials and competence when shopping for a doctor, for a lawyer (well, I don't need to shop for this, but you get my drift), and even a secretary! So why not expect the same from a president? And by competence, I don't refer to Gibo's Harvard degree or anything on his resume. All one needs to do is to bring an open mind to any of the debates and you will see what I am talking about. This is the guy who has a plan for the problems this country has, and he articulates this in such an eloquent manner that I know he'll do a great job in diplomacy and international relations, something that our country is in bad need for, since we need aid to be readily available for our economy and for disaster relief when needed. Some people have asked me why I didn't choose Gordon, and my answer is, if Gibo weren't running, I would probably be behind Gordon. But since he is, the reason I'm not choosing Gordon is the eloquence part. His verbal style is very abrasive and quite condescending. I don't know if he means to, but he strikes me as a professor or lecturer when he talks, and God knows that's not good for diplomacy. Also, the fact that he cannot endear himself to people by virtue of his dryness does not appeal to me. And it's not because of anything superficial, but I believe public office is also about managing public opinion. In short, you must know how to make people feel better during dire times or make them believe you. And I feel Gordon doesn't do a good job at that.

Gibo may not have the funds of Villar, to enable him to keep his advertising TARPS so consistently high. This is the only tragedy in his campaign, because his conversation rate is more than 90%. This means that for every 10 people who have accessed Gibo's platform and heard him speak, 9 are converted to become his voters. This is extremely high and just shows proof of what the man is made of. It's just unfortunate, because conversion rate is not enough to win this election. It needs to be coupled with awareness, which unfortunately is a function of spend. Hay. Alas, money is what Villar has that Gibo does not.

And don't even get me started about Noynoy. Though I was initially attracted to the whole yellow power thing, now, I am convinced more than ever not to vote for this guy. Not only does integrity not enough for me to pick a president, I do not even think Noynoy has this so-called integrity. He is just riding on the coat-tails of his parents, and who wants a president like that? If all you have to offer is the promise you will not steal, then anyone else on the street can claim that. Not doing something is not enough to anchor a campaign on. And if all you have to offer is your parentage, and your bloodline, then you should just wish we have a monarchy. That way, only the family surname and family tree matters when choosing a president.

Hehehe. That's all I had to say on the matter. Whatever your reasons may be, go ahead and make your choice. As I have made mine too. :)

Corn Silk!

Ok, so a talk with my parents had us rationalizing the work we'll have done in the condo. Essentially, the time-tested adults advised us to minimize the renovation work we'll pay for in the condo, bearing in mind resale value after 5-10 years (our estimated time living in the condo). It's better, they say, to minimize renovation expenses so you don't have to recover so much in total condo expenses when the time comes that we'll be pricing the property for sale. Buyers do not care if you spent a lot in a certain brand of tiles or a certain range of dressers. They also hardly care if you spent big bucks in taking down wall to make the space "breathe" more. For as long as we consider the place livable, we should just do minor tweaks and updates.

They had a good point, no matter how my stubborn bratty side tries to resist it. They've done this before, and their perspective actually comes with a lot of sense. It's just that the girly girl in me got all excited in the renovation and the end-result that the magic of interior design can make you infatuated with. But I guess in the end, practicality wins the game.

Oh well, papel...

So now, I'm occupying myself with going through paint options and seeing what I like and don't like. As of now, this is what I am crushing on as the color of our master's bedroom:

Corn Silk!

Isn't it pretty yet not too girly yet relaxing and shiny & bright? Makes you wanna relax after a long day yet welcomes you into a bright new morning and ready to face the day. :)

Wow, that's a lot of adjectives for a kind of paint ;P

Jute! :)

Got these today, on what was the first shopping trip I've been on ever since 2010 started (clap clap clap!) I only allowed myself to go shopping because we got our 2009 bonus yesterday and I felt like celebrating. Hehehe. OK, enough justifying my shopping urges, here's what I got for myself. I love love love love them. Not only are they comfortable, I love how they look! And, strangely enough, I pictured myself being a mom running around and doing errands as I wear these. Hahaha! I know, how weird :p

P.S. These are called Jute espadrilles and come from Spain. They're made of 100% natural materials, are super duper comfortable and the pricing is pretty reasonable. Super comfy even if they're platform wedges :p

hmmmm

rumble in the jungle???

delinquent bride?

Sometimes I look at my fellow brides and can't help but compare myself with them. Is it normal not to think about your wedding every day? If not, then I'm totally a delinquent bride! I don't know what it is about my personality, but it's just not in my character to focus only on 1 thing in my life at a time. Perhaps that's reflected in how I choose to lead my life, i.e. I am never just about 1 particular thing, even if it means a lot to me. I maintain a good career, teach (half the year, at least), take up MBA, plan my wedding and plan the condo renovation all side-by-side, not just because I want to do all these things, but also because I just cannot stand to "stand" for 1 thing alone. I don't know why, sometimes I do feel I'm stretching myself too far, but overall, I find I'm happier this way.

Which leads me to another topic. Some people have brought up this topic with me a few times, and my answer has always stayed the same. When we do decide to have babies, I do not plan on putting a stop to my career. Not only because of financial reasons (though I admit those are powerful reasons all on their own), but also because I know that it's not the way I'll be happy. I will know my priorities though, for sure, in the sense that I know that my family is the most important thing and the most dispensable thing should be work. I fully intend to drop everything whenever my family needs me.

However, I find that there is more than 1 way to be a good mom, and that does not necessarily equate to staying put at home and mother all day, every day. Don't get me wrong, I respect and completely admire women who make the decision to stay at home. It's just not the way I would do it, because I know I will be unhappy not being productive and my kids and husband will know I'm unhappy. So at the end of the day, it serves no one. To be a happy person, I need to be a rounded person. In an ironic way, to be a good mom, I cannot allow myself to solely be a mom. Does that make sense? Just like, to be a good wife, I know I cannot allow myself to solely be a wife.

I guess the same thing goes for other things in my life. I just cannot stand being boxed into just 1 thing- being a working girl, being an MBA student, being just any one thing. And I guess it looks like I'll carry on living this way even after the wedding and after babies.

Oh, and another thing... It may sound weird, I know, but I also cannot take the fact that both titles- wife and mom- are titles that only exist in relation to someone else. Again, don't get me wrong, I love Dennis more than my heart can ever express, but I cannot live for him and him alone. I suspect the same thing would apply to my children. As much as I love them and would give up my life for theirs, I cannot confine my life to my relationship with them. My relationship with myself- how happy I make myself- also matters. And I happen to think it's only right that it matters. It's not selfish to want things for yourself, to save some hours of the day for yourself, and save some parts of yourself and not give it away to others, even if, by others, you mean your family. It's only right and it's only fair.

OK, am I even making sense?? How did I get to this topic when I was just thinking about being a delinquent bride? I don't remember anymore. The topic just popped back up in my head :P Oh well.

Project Home

is about to start for real! :) I'm soooo excited! Now that we've finalized our interior decoration drawings (thanks to Attorney's cousin, who did it for us for free as a wedding gift!), we're now ready to get the place jobbed-out to a contractor! Yehey! Now I feel like we're actually starting on Project Home already :P

Hopefully, though, it doesn't cost us too much. Within our budget is okay with me; I'm not even shooting for savings. I know that I can't scrimp in areas that need to be spent on (like the kitchen and the toilets), so I'm not going to penny-pinch like I would if we were referring to certain parts of our wedding. I know that it's an investment. I just want to stay within budget so we'll still be able to pay for some other planned items (hint: HM!) Let's keep our fingers and toes crossed! :)

confeeeeermed!

Got confirmed yesterday at Binondo Church. It was an interesting experience, though the seminar was seriously sleep-inducing. I successfully executed my part in the ceremony and even got a gift from my confirmation godparents! :) Hehehe. While it's true that I only did it as a requirement for our church wedding, I must admit I liked the solemnity of the ceremony,and the meaning of the whole thing wasn't lost of me at all, even if I'm not truly part of the faith. After all, I studied it in college. I even remember getting a flat 1.0 in the Sacraments class :)

Dennis was also sweet enough to accompany me through the whole thing, even sitting through a 2.5 hour seminar. He said he wanted to be there with me, even if the task at hand didn't involve him. Guess it's an exercise in marriage too. As my dad says, you don't always like what you do for your spouse, but you just do it :p

ohm.... namaste.... yoga...

OK, I was so tempted to blog about my yoga sessions after, well, the first time I went to yoga class in LKG. But I stopped myself, because I feared it meant I'll jinx this new fitness routine and I'll end up eating my words and doing "ningas kugon" (i.e. never go back after the 1st try). So now that I'm on my second month of doing yoga, I figured it's safe already to formally talk about it (at least as "formal" as this blog goes :p )

First off, I SUPER DUPER love yoga! Because:
1. It's sooo relaxing. It eases your mind of worries or stress and never fails to recharge me after each session. No fail! Since it has a lot to do with proper inhalation, requires tremendous concentration, demands focus on the here and now, and expects you to leave your troubles at the door. It's so calming and has such a nice de-stressing effect on me.
2. It helps my posture. Enough said.
3. It's making me stronger. I don't know if this is just a trick of my own mind's making, but I do feel incrementally stronger since I started doing this kind of yoga. I don't get out of breath as easily or as fast when Guia and I walk to Greenbelt. I can also take the stairs at the office and at home two steps at a time, all in one go (no more than 1 second interval between each two-step). I don't know when I can expect toning of the limbs to happen, but I think the increased strength is such an encouraging result.
4. It's strenuous enough yet it doesn't make you sweat like a pig or get "hingal" in a what-the-F kind of way. Admittedly, these are the main reasons I didn't like the gym. I didn't like how I felt so spent after each time I go. With yoga, I still get those "muscle aches" post-session, but nothing like those I get from going to the gym. So I still feel the workout's impact minus the icky sweating :p
5. There's variation in the yoga poses each time I go, so it never gets boring.
6. It's something I can easily replicate at home, maybe starting my 4th month of doing yoga. I need to get the poses down right first before attempting to do it at home, lest I injure myself. But once I get to do that, I can do yoga in the comforts of my own room. Which obviously, no gym routine can allow.
7. No need for special shoes, clothes or other paraphernalia. Apart from the studio fees, there are no required additional expenses!
8. The center is so near my office (at least for now.. I hear they're planning to move to Rockwell in Sept. Boohoo!). There is no excuse for me to skip my Wed-Fri twice-a-week routine.

Are those reasons enough? Hehe. I'm so happy that, after 27 years of existence, I've finally found an exercise routine I love. In fact, I super look forward to each session, in a way I never ever expected to feel about a physical activity. I never looked forward to gym or to PE. Ever! So this is definitely a good sign. I really love yoga!

HM Planning!!

The past few weeks, I've been jumping from one type of planning to another. First was wedding day planning, especially when I meet up with my wedding planner, then off to condo renovation and interior decoration planning, especially when we got our keys and signed all the documents, then to honeymoon planning, especially when I found a super great deal online for our Honeymoon Phase 1 in Singapore! :)

Anyway, this blog post is about the latter kind of planning. I'm so excited it's actually a bit painful to have to wait sooo long for it (7 more months!). After finding a super great deal on Cebu Pac last Christmas for our tickets to Sing (super cheap- as in, cheaper than a dress in Zara!), I went on a mission to find us the perfect hotel. Given that it's our honeymoon and that we're leaving 48 hours after we tie the knot, I wanted to splurge a bit on the hotel and not book us in a 30-sqm box. If I let budget be the only consideration, chances are, we'll end up in a shoebox-lookalike, given how expensive Singapore is on an average day, further compounded by the fact that September is F1 Race season there too. On the other hand, to sort of temper this desire to go all-out, I wanted to not spend too much on Phase 1, so that we'll have more money for Phase 2 (more on that later). So I surfed the internet more than I care to admit, until tadaaaaa I found the perfect deal!

We are staying here for HM Phase 1:

Conrad Hotels Singapore, a Hilton hotel

Got our room at 50% off in their winter sale last month!! How cool is that? :)

Then tonight, I made another discovery. Assuming we do get to go to NYC for our Honeymoon Phase 2, I really really really hope we get to stay in this hotel:

Room-Mate Hotel Grace NYC

I just love love love this hotel! Not only is the concept different, it looks really fun, the location is perfection, and there is, brace yourself, free breakfast! I thought that was an impossibility in NYC, at least not unless you're staying at a 5-star place. It's also got a nice pool, lounge area, lobby and entrance hall. Service doesn't seem to be a problem either! :) It's not cheap, mind you, as very few things are in the concrete jungle where dreams are made. But it's cheap enough, relatively speaking, especially if you factor in the location, which is the biggest consideration if you want to maximize your time in the city. :)

OK, I should stop sounding like a tour guide. Please please please please!!!!! :) I pray the stars align to give me this one special gift-- I hope we have enough money to responsibly go to NYC, then I hope we find cheap airfare (I have an idea what airline to take, but let's hope it pulls through for us!), then we BOTH get our US visas renewed (this may be the most unpredictable one of all the factors), and finally we get to take leaves off from work to go (this may be the easiest factor naman). Hehehe. I really really hope so. I really want NYC. Cross your fingers and toes we get there in 2010! :)

last call!

This weekend marked my last Valentine's day as a single person and my last CNY at home. Made me more wistful than I expected. Guess this just means we truly must enjoy every minute of every day and cast aside all worries about tomorrow or hang-ups about the past. Just enjoy the present. Because, just like with everything else in life, it's fleeting and it'll be gone before you know it.

Kung Hei! :)

it's REALLY happening!!!!

We got the keys to our condo unit today! Hoooooorayyyyy!!! I'm so excited and giddy, yet nervous all at the same time. Hehe. It's really happening! Once we finalize our renovation plans, the contractors can start work, in time for hopefully a finished place by June, and we can start slowly adding furniture to the place, in time for September!

To say I'm excited is an understatement :p

couch, come to mama!!!!!

Cobonpue: Highlight of Cebu

OK, so I'm back from Cebu, for a sales conference for SMART. It was a 3 day, 2 night trip, and we stayed in Mactan Shang. All I can say is that the hotel is nothing like Makati Shang but for a free 2-night stay in a 5-star hotel, I wouldn't really complain too much.

The highlight of this trip though was visiting the factory and showroom of Kenneth Cobonpue in Mandaue City. It was my boss' idea, actually, to go furniture hunting / shopping on our last day in Cebu, since we pretty much had the whole day (up until about 1:30pm) free and what else could we do that didn't involve too much cost. When she mentioned going to Kenneth Cobonpue, I immediately thought that his stuff probably cost an arm and a leg and for sure I wouldn't be able to afford anything. I had heard of his work and his legions of fans, though, and was actually curious to see his stuff up close and personal. They always struck me as "hard"-looking, like they weren't comfortable to sit on or lie down on, so I wanted to see what the big fuss was about.

After a 30-minute car ride from the hotel, we arrive at the showroom and were greeted rather enthusiastically by his staff of showroom girls who were really friendly and accommodating. We went through both sides of his showroom and I'm happy to report that I was so pleasantly surprised to see how usable his pieces are. Not only are they "impactful" visually, especially the bed and sofa pieces, they are also designed for human comfort. His furniture are all MASARAP to lie down or sit on. MASARAP na MASARAP.

When we were going through the first part of the showroom, I was thinking, wow, I'm actually impressed by his work! But I wasn't seeing anything particularly breath-taking or at least merited a feeling of wanting to take anything home with me.

Until we went to the showroom at the back and I saw THE COUCH. The couch that I would die to have in my condo when we move in in September. It's called the Yin Yang L-shaped couch, and it's HEAVENLY. Not only aesthetically pleasing but also remarkably wonderful. Like I want to sit there all day and maybe sleep on it at night. Hehe.

Alas, apparently, they do not sell the pieces in the showroom. Also, if you want to buy something, upon agreeing to the price quotation (which apparently is only released to you via email and on a per-request basis because the price of his raw materials are organic and thus their prices change from time to time), they will make your furniture piece from scratch. The leadtime is usually 60 days, and they ship to Manila. If you want some aspects or dimensions changed, this means your piece will be "customized". It will be subject to a round of special designing by Kenneth and you will of course be charged a corresponding customization fee. The girls actually didn't recommend customization. If you just want a couch lengthened because you find it a bit short for your fiance's leg length, then you're better off adding an ottoman to your purchase and save yourself a bundle of pesos.

Hehe. That last bit was my only predicament with THE COUCH , which the salesgirl was able to successfully address.

So now we gotta wait. How much will THE COUCH cost kaya? The other pieces there had quotations made out for today, so we had an idea on his price range. I'll tell you one thing about his prices- they are NOT cheap, but they are certainly NOT chump change either. If you consider the amount of labor that goes into the actual materials and the furniture, which we were able to see for ourselves, you'll realize why the prices are the way they are. In fact, you'd even think of charging more if you were Kenneth.

That last bit were my actual real thoughts as our car pulled away from the showroom's garage as we left for the hotel again. Hehe.

For more info on his work, you can check his website. THE COUCH isn't in the catalog for some reason. I kinda like it actually- the thought that it's not published in the site yet, and hence it's still my (or our, including my companions today) little secret for now.

:)

officially a homeowner!!

We got a copy of our condo certificate of title today! WOOHOO!! :p

The feeling is a mixture of a really powerful emotional high and a really freaky sense of anxiety with a helping of queasiness in your stomach that can easily trigger cold sweats. Hahaha! Did I just make it sound so weird? Anyway, the feeling is really a combination of "yehey, we're on our way to realizing our dream" and "what the.. how will we do this successfully?" especially since the place is really still on loan with the bank. While we do have a payment plan, the ultra-responsible and ultra-"praning" side of me can't help but feel the weight of the math computations on the flimsy piece of paper in front of me. What pressure. So this is what "game time" means for adults. Not just simple transactions like shopping or beautification routines that, when charged to credit cards, tend to "surprise" you at the end of the month. This is a true-blue, honest-to-goodness jumping into real-estate-mortgage territory, with serious consequences and pretty much just you and your husband left to your own devices. It's quite scary!

But, as my dad said, it's okay to have that "my heart is throbbing so fast I feel like I'm getting cardiac arrest" feeling. It means you're growing up. It means you're stretching yourself farther and reaching for a dream, intending to make it real. It means you've stopped daydreaming and started pushing the pedal to the metal (oh yeah, my favorite, cough cough, phrase)... and start living your life.

Nice to hear, and probably better savored when the debt is all paid for, but I know it's true. I guess it's also the responsibility of it all that would make it feel so much more worth-it and fulfilling in the end. Just like with anything else in life, the feeling you get after getting something you worked for is so much richer, so much more heart-warming and so much more meaningful than something you got through a dole-out. Not to say that dole-outs aren't good; in fact they are VERY VERY VERY much welcome. All I'm saying if part of enjoying the gain, more often than not, entails going through some pain.

Starting with.. no unnecessarily shopping starting today. I made some progress in January, it being the leanest month (spending-wise) for me, since probably my first few months of working. I just hope I keep it up. Hehe. I have a feeling I will be able to, though. Nothing takes the wind out of your clothes-shopping urges than a mortgage staring at you squarely in the face.

Let's not forget to celebrate too, though. We're officially homeowners! Hoorah! A feat by itself :)

House Stuff Hunting Day

So we went house stuff hunting today, before we went and watched The Blind Side. I loved loved loved loved it! I loved the idea of us putting together our first home... together. More than going through fixtures, furniture and appliance shopping, I loved the discussions we had when going through our many choices. I loved the talks about what we want to do with each room of the condo, how we want things fixed, how we envision living together. I loved it all, so much so that there was a point I remember wishing we had a video cam pointed at us, so I can document the moment and cherish it forever. I can't wait for our home to be done, to be up and running. Then again, just like with the wedding preps, I am so happy that we're having such a great time with the house planning. I am so thankful that we have this stretch of time to enjoy. If there's a honeymoon which is the period after an official union, I wish there was a term to define the period leading up to it. Like a "prequel" of sorts. It deserves a name, because something that makes me so so so over-the-moon happy, much like how I envision our honeymoon will make me, deserves a label to be called by.

Bottom line: I love love love love today, because I love love love love you.

=)

worrywart

Two of my biggest flaws are over-obsessing and pessimism. These two weaknesses definitely take a series of long, hard stabs at me when life presents moments of uncertainty. Add another character flaw of being a control freak and you'll understand the dark clouds that I let overwhelm me sometimes. I hate feeling out of control and I absolutely hate feeling like I've lost footing or I get caught unprepared.

But I know that I need to let go sometimes and have a bit more faith. Faith that things will always find a way to resolve themselves. I need to fully believe that being responsible doesn't equate to being perfect. That I will not be able to foresee everything and prepare for everything. So being taken by surprise sometimes should be allowed and forgiven. I can be harshest and hardest on myself, and I'm not proud of that.

I don't know what the point of this entry is, except I realize that now that I'm about to embark on the next chapter in life known as full-fledged adulthood, I need to at least try to shed off these layers of pessimism and need for control. It's not healthy. It may be impossible to shut off a habit that's 27 years in the making, but for the sake of my future husband, my future children and my sanity, I need to try.

If only there was a self-help book on this. Or a 10-step checklist.

Or hmm... maybe yoga can help me. One of the benefits of yoga is being able to calm oneself down and take the weight of the world off your shoulders. I'll try.

8 months to go!!!

We have 243 days or exactly 8 months to go until our big day!

Accomplishments so far:
1. Church and venue: Check
2. Food: Check, except we have to finalize the menu
3. Guest list: Partial check only. We only know so far that we'll have 60 tables. No exact list yet.
4. Designer: BIG FAT CHECK! More on that later.
5. Photo/Video: Check
6. Emcee: Check. Just need to book a sound systems guy.
7. Strings: Check
8. Cake: No decision yet.
9. Invites: No decision yet.
10. Florist/Stylist: No final decision yet.

I think I'm making good progress. I like the pace I'm on also; no need for bridezilla so far and no need for unnecessary stress. Before the month is over though, I'd like to finalize my color palette, so I can start strategizing the venue decor. Then before Feb is over, I'd like to finalize the entourage designs.

Speaking of dresses, I am so majorly, overly, super in love with my bridal dress design. THIS IS IT! I love love love love it! I can't wait for my wedding day so I can slip on that beauty queen of a dress :) On Friday should be my measurements day and when we discuss the entourage designs.

I'm so happy!

8 months to go before we become Attorney and Mrs! :)

Back to the daily grind... er, early morning class...

This term, I enrolled in 3 MBA classes, one of which falls on a Saturday morning at 8am (Hence, I'm awake at this time and getting ready to leave) all the way in DLSU Taft. Hay.. One of the sacrifices one must make in the name of education and graduating on time. I had the option of cutting back by one class, but I figured the earlier I finish my pending classes, the earlier I can graduate.Plus, I'm getting "set-back" by 1 term this year, which is the term that coincides with my wedding and honeymoon. So, it's only right to take more than the usual load this term, even if it means waking up at an ungodly hour of 6:30 on a Saturday morning. I'm glad though that Dennis is very supportive; in fact, he'll pick me up later at 11am (which is also still early, for a Saturday). But, hey, we gotta put in the work to reap in benefits later...

I just wish it can start at 9 instead of 8.

Hahaha!

No Bridezilla :)

These are the days I'm so thankful I have 1 year to prepare for the wedding. There was an incident today that would've made me stressed out and masungit, but since I have time to spare, I didn't. Just spoke very nicely yet firmly, then went on with my daily business. :)

Just a random thought.

So no need for bridezilla.

For now. Let's not jinx it. Knock on wood.

:p

Decade Review

OK, I'm 27 now which means I was 17 when the decade-that-just-was had just begun. Given that the decade before that, I had just reached the age of reason and hence, school mostly occupied my time, this past decade is the only decade I've lived through worth looking back on and reviewing :p So, with details supplanted by my blog, here goes the Decade Review -

2000 - Halfway through my first year of college. First time to be in a non-Chinese-dominant environment, but happy to have my lifelong friends with me (Lianne and Monica). Met new friends Eks, Gen, Roks, Felix and Gopal. My Chinese friends and I founded the first Fil-Chi org in UA&P, to attempt to put some semblance of control over being in an unfamiliar place where our culture was "cute and interesting" to most of our classmates. How strange. Met Father Soria, my first-ever priest-teacher, who found me just as fascinating as I found him. Faced my first-ever "Who is Jesus Christ, Ms. Co?" question. Fumbled with my answer. Haha! Had to explain to him after class where my ignorance stems from, for fear of being misjudged.

2001 - Mid-way through sophomore year and trying to decide what to major on. Was initially attracted to Economics (eew!) but also intrigued by IMC. A tall, lean, pale dude whom people refer to as Dr K asked me to visit his office because he wanted to "discuss my options in IMC." I first thought, "wow, yabang", but turned out to be convinced when he met with me. EDSA Dos happened and the nation was able to get rid of Erap (for now, hehe). Hung out mostly with Knox, Neil and Elber.

2002 - Started in IMC, and found marketing to be my professional calling. Loved my classes, except some really boring ones taught by professors who were better off retired :p Short relationship with Neil also marked this year.

2003 - Fourth year in IMC- the intensity-filled year. Spent the year mostly sleep-deprived, caffeine-guzzling and in front of a computer, or a printer, or a Prom-B table. Also spent most of my awake time away from my own home and in someone else's, i.e. Gopal's, Elber's, Guia's or Noel's (where the only edible thing for guests was water :p ) Also had a realization that in tight situations where printers conk out, I can take the "flight" (or rather "cry") option instead of fight. Someone takes the fight (i.e. profanity) route though. :p Thought I was going to end up in Unilever for my 5th year, and actually kinda really hoped that I would. Went through Unilever Business Week only to get disappointed in the end due to a technicality.

2004 - Almost done with IMC 5th year, halfway through residency in Citibank. Suffered through 7,000-per-month takehome pay, early Saturday morning classes and awkward stare-downs by my first boss, whom we will hide in the alias "LG". Highlight of the year is spending my residency with FILC, who will turn out to be my three bestest girlfriends in the whole wide world. Also graduated at the top of my class, and visited my best friend in Vancouver for the first time and realized how little there was to do in that city :p

2005 - Began working officially in Citi as program manager of Cards Marketing. Met some of the coolest people ever, who are still my very good friends 'til this day (Van, Ranza, Dang, Karen, Jane, Dane, Eps). Met the love of my life in March 2005, and we got together officially on the 28th of April that year. Life has been extra beautiful from that point on. Dennis finished law school, graduated and took the bar, where he claims 'til this day that he placed #11. (they only publish rankings until #10, hehehe). Made my first appearance in a print ad as a hand model. (Short-lived career though. Hahaha!) FILC went on its first trip- to Boracay! Oh, and I changed jobs. Smart first interviewed me in February, but hired me by December. Long story why. Long wait too. :p Learned yet again that long waits are usually well worth it. First proof was Dennis. Second proof was this job.

My friend, Missy, died after a long bout against ensephalitis. :(

2006 - First full year spent in Smart and another happy year spent with Dennis. Got upgraded to APM level after 6 months in Smart. Went to Cebu with my good friend, Giselle, whose one of the blessings of working in Smart. Also met Loraine, another good friend, in Smart. My best friend's brother got into an accident that left him paralyzed :( Went to Hawaii for the first time, free of charge courtesy of my employer. Took my first business-class JAL flight, which I loved loved loved. Japanese are the best! Got my first-ever salary bonus. I can get used to this :)

2007 - Second full year in Smart, and got promoted to managerial level. Got a car put in my name for the first time. This was also the year of travel for me-- I went all around the Middle East, to London and Asia for work. On the personal trips front, went to Canada again for my cousin's wedding and to Singapore for Ranza. Toured Boston for the first time too and found out I really like college towns. Went to NYC and fell face-first in love with the most vibrant, energy-filled city on the face of the earth. Experienced firsthand the travel nightmares that can befall you when traveling domestically in the US, with the story ending with me sprinting at the Chicago and LA airports and with my luggage arriving one month after I had come home.

2008 - Another year in Smart, another year with Dennis. After some months of pondering in 2007, I finally decided to take the plunge and take on an MBA degree. Met some really cool people in DLSU too. Got offered to be a professor and teach an IMC class- Brand Communications Management. Coincidentally, Dennis also got offered to teach for the first time! Hmm.. what else.. made some big money, and made some big purchases too. Got featured in a magazine for the first time. My friend Karen got preggers while my friend Laurice gave birth!

2009 - Got engaged to the most dedicated, most adorable and most loving man alive. Had my tinghun in the house I grew up in. Was welcomed with open arms into the Chan family. Bought my first ever real estate property. Went on the 2nd FILC trip, this time to Singapore! Went to Bangkok for the 2nd time and turned out to like it so much more than my first trip. Anna and Guia got engaged as well, Gopal got married, and Kayers got preggers! In sad news, Mia had a health scare, and Eggy passed away :(

And so that's the decade that was. Pretty full decade, with so many changes, twists and opportunities. Looking back at some of the older blog entries I had, especially towards the early part of this decade, I find it amazing how things that happened tie together so beautifully. Makes you really believe that another force is at play, not just happenstance or luck. Love also marked this past decade, with Dennis being the highlight of it all.

It's been a really good past 10 years. It may not have been picture-perfect, but few things in life really are anyway. The point is, the good parts definitely kick the behinds of the bad ones, and in fact, most of the bad ones were actually lessons-in-life in disguise, which are actually good. I learned so much in these past ten years and I had a really good ride! I can't wait to go through the next decade with my family, Dennis, and my friends. I'm so thankful! :)

family

I got extra sentimental today about family. My family. How much they mean to me. How much I'll miss them when I get married. How thankful I am to have been born into this family. How much of a role they play into forming my character and my values. How important it is to me to stay as close to them as possible even after I move out. I love my family. If only I can just "add" Dennis into the present family equation and not have to change anything else. I love my family.

holidays merry days! :)

It's been a full week past! Some highlights:
1. Had my tinghun last Saturday! Blissful experience with minor booboos and lots and lots of pictures (that hopefully I get to see very soon!). I didn't think I'd have so much fun following tradition, but given that I'm the only girl in this household, I think it also meant a lot to my family, esp my lola and parents, to have thrown a tinghun for me. I also loved that it was held in the house I grew up in, sort of as a tribute to the place that housed most of my growing-up memories. I also loved getting ready in my room, then moving on to my lola's room since she had more floor space, and eating downstairs on our dining room table. The gifts were also awesome, but more than that, the experience itself is the most precious thing, and the memories it created :)

2. Work is over, at least for the year! We also got a hefty, generous Christmas bonus, for which I am very grateful. Indeed, we had a lot of bad slumps this year, so it was very generous of management to still grant us a generous sum. It would be very helpful next year! :P

3. Christmas! I don't know if it's because I'm engaged, but majority of the gifts I received this year were honeymoon or newlywed related. Hehe. I love every one of them! :) This Christmas is a bit different from years past, because we spent it at the hospital. My lola's still there, but her condition is improving day by day, and hopefully she'll be able to get out before the new year rolls in :)

4. Heard some good news about friends expecting and friends getting engaged. 'Tis the season of blessings, truly! :)

Hopefully the last few days of 2009 keep up the stream of blessings, hope and love, all the way until the new year!

exciting times are coming... :p

One week to go 'til tinghun!

Two work weeks left to go 'til official holiday break!

Two weddings and a baby await us in 2010. (Will it be three weddings? Hmm.. Abangan!)

tinghun countdown!

Ten days to go!!!! :)

thank you

Obviously, my family and I are as far from being American as siomai is, but just because we don't celebrate the actual holiday doesn't mean we can't give thanks :p So, in honor of American Thanksgiving, I loudly proclaim to the universe my ever-flowing gratitude for the following:

~ Attorney Dennis Chan and the blessing he represents in my life, for all of my life
~ My dad, my mom, my lolas and my brothers
~ My lovely friends, all of them, near and far, from all stages and parts of my life
~ My mentors at work
~ My teachers and my students
~ The opportunities that come my way, big or small
~ The sense of safety and security that allow me to sleep well at night and look forward to every morning
~ and most importantly, the "Big Man" up there, known by many names by many people, who's my true benefactor for all the things I'm grateful for.

Thank you.

i want to sit on the floor and whine...

"Hello? MBA graduation? Are you still out there????"

Days like this make me want to sit down on the floor, pump my fists in the air and kick and scream and whine. MBA is dragging out with seemingly no end in sight. I feel like indulging my inner brat and whine 'til kingdom come. Why again am I doing this??!?

This may just be a manifestation of me trying to do it all and juggle so many things in my life. But giving up on this is just not an option.

Hay.

For now, whining is all there is to do.

Hay.

i gotta feeling...

I will win this year's Christmas gift challenge vs. Attorney

:D

:D

:D

forward thinking: the math

Ok, the OC in me likes to plan things ahead of time and gets kinda stressed whenever I'm told to "go with the flow". I know some people like it and live by it, but I'm just not wired that way... Also, the Math geek in me likes to see things on black-and-white and formulas put in place so that things compute properly and everything is accounted for. I do not like cracks or have things fall into them (you know what I mean)... Anyway...

This OC-ness led to me draft up a household budget for me and Attorney, for our life-together to be launched in mid-Sept 2010. The excel sheet accounts for all expected income flows as well as expenses, and computes for yields in terms of gains or losses as a function of income minus expense. It also creates another scenario where a baby is involved. I estimated costs incurred by pregnancy and the baby entering this world, annualized it, and made a safety padding to include inflation and to absorb the cost of cutesy baby things that are pricey but simply cannot be passed up (see, I'm also very realistic!). I wanted to know if we're financially prepared for this occurence. I know we planned not to have a baby until my MBA is done, but sometimes, these things cannot be helped nor 100% planned for, so I wanted to know if we'll be on shaky ground if I pee into a stick and find out we're with-child. I'm sure we'll be happy but I want to know if our wallets will be just as happy.

Bottom-line, nearly break-even if with child with a little bit stashed away for savings. Not a bad scenario all-in-all.

I'm happy now. :)

And can breathe better.

Math calms me down this way. Numbers don't lie. :p

Oh, and I just realized, imagine if we didn't have to pay 32% income tax. That would mean a 32% immediate increase in our takehome and more moolah for our little kid. Tsk tsk tsk. Instead it goes to the fat pockets of you-know-who.

Oh, and I also just realized, I didn't plan for the occurence of us having twins.

I don't think we have twins in our genes. So it's an improbable matter. :p

Ok, too much OC. Gotta get back to work.

taking stock: SG trip

OK, tangible loot from SG trip with FILC (aka our first abroad trip together):
- Two Cotton On cardigans
- 1 Rubi (pronounced as roo-bi) flats
- Ikea loot: 1 candle holder, 4 rolls of gift-wrapping ribbon and a cool salt/sugar canister (yes, I know it's not much, but I haven't really gone to Ikea to shop, in all the 4 times I've been there, but really more to look around and have fun with the place. Hopefully my next visit will be more productive retail-wise)
- Burberry perfume and NYC guide for Dennis
- Jerky and chocolate pasalubongs
- Sephora loot (Makeup Forever and Benefit cosmetics)

That's it! Probably one of my leanest trips abroad ever, in terms of shopping hauls. However, this trip majorly kicks ass coz of:
- Super cool Unilever-sponsored apartment aka Trinidad Bed & Breakfast, with Julette as the assistant tour guide
- as usual, Singapore food that I love love love love, including Din Tai Fung which wasn't in the original list in my head of places to hit
- The "night-in" that we had on our 2nd night there
- Lychee martinis
- Pictures ("broken arm"!)
- New malls on Orchard road
- New terms such as "BV" and "GV" widely used throughout the trip
- Fun as usual with the girls

:D

Sa uulitin!

SINGAPORE!!!

The first FILC trip was to Boracay 4 years ago. We had a lot of fun and we always said we should take more trips together, ideally once per year, but obviously, since we're only about to take our second one, that "ideal plan" didn't really pan out. Hehe. But nonetheless, I'm so excited!!! FILC's 2nd trip will be this Friday, to the land of the merlion, the hawker stalls, Orchard Road and the EZLink card, aka Singapore!

This trip is especially special to me, because it's most likely the last trip I'll go on with friends, as a single woman. True, Dennis has never stopped me from taking trips with friends, and I don't foresee him doing so when he's already my husband, but I feel strangely nostalgic, as I have been these past few days, for this time in my life. It's the last time I'll go on a trip with no other responsibility but myself. And that's something to acknowledge, I think.

Which is why I'm especially happy that this trip will be to Singapore, my most favorite and most loved city in the whole wide planet. I love love love love Singapura (its original name) ever since my parents sent me there to study when I was 10 years old. I love how the city is actually a country but feels totally like a city, like a home. You can walk around and get to everywhere you need to, without depending on cars or enduring through traffic jams. You have no fear of criminals, snatchers, rapists, etc, as it is one of the safest place in the world. You can find cheap, CLEAN and fantabulously delicious food in the humblest of places (aka my lovely hawker stalls). You can go there 4 times a year and it'll still look different somehow.

It's where my naive 10-year-old self learned what it meant to be independent, to be responsible, to know how it is to stand on my two feet and take care of myself. I believe it's where my 10-year-old self discovered her strengths. I remember having my first ever growth spurt there, but more than the physical, bodily growth, I really grew up, in the real sense of the phrase, and I credit so much of who I am now to that chapter of my life.

Singapore will always be my most favorite place on earth. I know it's been making a lot of changes lately, architectually and even in terms of regulation, but I don't care. Singapore will always hold a special place in my life.

With that said, it'll be made even more special by the fact that I'll visit it again, this time with my bestest friends. Can't wait! :)

overwhelm

These past few days, I've definitely been feeling the strain... that weighty, overwhelming feeling that I've been bracing for ever since I realized the multiple balls I'll be juggle throughout late 2009 to early and mid 2010. I am on the bridal gown stage of wedding preps, which probably is the most attention and thought requiring part of the process, apart from the main items otherwise known as date, time, church and venue. Met with some designers, the experience of which I realize can be both confusing, tiring yet fun, exciting and very giddyness-inducing. It's also finals time for my darling students, so I have to finish grading all the papers and prepare for my final day in class, as well as do the prep work to compute for their grades. I also launched a new product recently, one that requires a lot of attention given the sales/trade work it needs. It was also budget season a while back. The stress it causes needs no explanation. MBA is also still ongoing, with some of my classmates being a bit "difficult" to work with, esp with regards to our often conflicting work schedules.

So many things, so little time. In fact, the only other "ball" I have that I do not need to "juggle" yet right now is house decorating. It's a task for early 2010, when we have to start (and finish) the repair work at the condo, and design ideas and decorating concepts will be angling for space in my brain, versus all the other things I listed above. I am super excited for that stage of my "fiancee"-ness, but I also know I want enough time to enjoy the process.

I remember telling Dennis recently that, for the first time since we got engaged, I am truly, truly, truly grateful to have this much leadtime before our big day. I am not the type to cut corners, or to close my eyes and do eenee-meenee-minee-mo with my choices. I am soooo the type to think it over, consider different angles of the decision, before settling down with my choice. I also dislike the feeling of being rushed. So, with all these other things going on in my life, I definitely love the fact that I have time. Enough time. To breathe. To relax. To take things one at a time. To enjoy and have fun. To be. Just be.

I've been thinking of and doing so many things that time seemed to fly by and before I know it, my 27th birthday is upon me. Tomorrow, I turn a year older. And I realize that my 27th year on this planet is perhaps the most exciting and life-changing year of my existence just yet. It's a year full of firsts- of the start of my official life as the wife of my beloved and the start of my full-fledged independence. By this time next year, I would've been a wife for a little over a month. Hopefully I'll also be doing wifely things such as cooking for my husband, preparing things for him, talking about expenses, trips together, wedding gifts unopened, etc. I'll also be entering the third and final stage of my MBA life. And hopefully something good at work is also in store for me, God-willing..

There's so much growing up to do next year... I can't help but feel nostalgic... The next 12 months are definitely something to savor and to cherish. To enjoy and to remember. This sort of thing only happens once.

OK, I don't feel so overwhelmed anymore. I feel so much better :p Which is a good thing. My birthday is in a few hours :) Can't be in a funk on my day. :p

little details here & there...

but at the end of the day, it's me and you. Me and you. Me and you.

Handle With Care

I love this book. I love the story, the characters and the twists and turns. Jodi Picoult does it again. She writes about life, about love, in such a poignant, sensitive way. I'd read this book over and over again.

:-)

2009, what's wrong????

Is it just me or is 2009 probably the toughest year we've had in a long long time? I've personally never seen a year more filled with challenges... so many deaths, mishaps, accidents, disappointments.. a year more riddled by would-have-been-but-never-was... It's just so strange.

Well, that is, except for the fact I got engaged (super high "high"), my overseas trips and the salary adjustment I got mid-year...

Gotta mention those, in case I begin to sound ungrateful. I'm still very thankful for my blessings, universe. It's just that I can't help but think 2009 seems to be a year people would rather forget once it's over.

Strange.

one random day...

He was just being himself...

Chattering on about something at work...

Feeding himself in between sentences...

Being all animated, using all the intonations and hand gestures in the world...

And I thought to myself...

I want to be with you forever.

:D

ok so new date 09/19/2010

OK, so now we have a new date, which the MIL seems to like a lot better, plus it gives way to an evening reception. Everybody happy, perhaps? Well, not just yet. We've already landed a church, but we have yet to get a reception space that fits all the requirements. Gosh, if you want to know what stress feels like, try planning a Chinese wedding.

Abangan....

:-p

spoke to soon

Apparently, churches do not allow Sunday morning weddings anymore, to make way for back-to-back masses and encourage parishoners to attend mass. Well, good for them but bad for us. With the rule, we have one of 2 choices: Get married in a garden or anywhere except a church; or, Change the date.

I guess we're changing the date.

I'm kinda tempted with the first option though.

:p

Trying to keep positive and avoid the control freak in me from..... well, freaking out.

Wooooooozaaaaaaaaahhhhh.....

10-10-10 at 10am!

We have our date!!! :P

When Dennis first told me the date that was found to the best schedule for us to be married, I was initially excited by the 10-10-10 proposition, but found the 10am a bit too early... I had always imagined our wedding reception to happen at night... So all the way home that evening, I tried to adjust the way I looked at this new development..

Then, I remembered something! When I was freshly out of college and one of our college friends got married (Cia), the rest of us were talking about how only one to two of us should get married per year, because at that time, we felt it was expensive to buy wedding gifts, so this expense should be spaced apart :p (haha, I know... when you earn minimum wage, you count your pennies very ver well)... Since there's quite a number of us in the digdipper group, we took turns "claiming" years and/or dates. I remember saying 10-10-10 will be mine, because it's a Sunday and it seems auspicious. This was back when: (1) I was just 21 years old and didn't know any better about anything in life ; and (2) I was super single and wasn't even really dating anybody. Wala lang. I think it's interesting and quite a story for it to turn out that I will indeed get married on this date. At may extra 10 pa for the time :p hehehe..

So, next year, 10-10-10 at 10am! :D

house hunting

One of my favorite things to do on a weekend these days is to go house hunting with my fiance. It's such an adventure. We'd choose a certain spot, drive around and look for possibilities. Today, we found the best one we've seen so far. It's so spacious and well designed, and it's in a really good neighborhood. I could practically imagine us living there when we were being taken for a tour this afternoon. I love it!

I wish money grew on trees so we can buy it on the spot.

tick tock.... tinghun!!!

We have an official tinghun (Chinese engagement) date! December 19, 2009 :D

Action items for the next few months:
- Finalize the details (venue, etc) of the tinghun
- Plan my attire (always a happy thing for any girl... and her mom.. Hehehe, my mom is already planning to visit designers in the next few weeks)
- Choose the gifts we want (at least the ones we can have a hand at deciding :p)

I'm excited!!!!! :D

WED TV

Hehehe, must be because of my current life stage of being a bride, but I've really taken to watching Wed TV episodes. They're like capsule features of the considerations of a bride-to-be, from dresses to videographers to pamamanhikan rituals, etc. It's a lot of fun! :p

tick tock!

This Sunday is our pamanhikan, the official day that our parents (plus my lola) will first meet each other. By then, it'll already be August 2, which means one month to go til September, when we'll have a wedding date, and the whole wedding prep frenzy begins. In more than one occasion, I've been told that my engagement seems anti-climactic since it wasn't followed immediately by a dizzying schedule of meetings with suppliers and a crazy lineup of wedding errands. Strange, because while that kinda makes sense, I really don't feel that it's anything bad. I like how we've been able to really enjoy being engaged, to regale in the fact that we've just made a 'tender reservation' on each other, to spend forever together, and just "be engaged." I'm grateful that we've had this time to enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime crossroad. Not everyone has the same experience. I've also had the pleasure of slowly going through supplier options, without the pressure of the deadlines, and find out slowly what I really want. Now that I realize I only have 1 month of full, unadulterated peace, until the frenzy begins, I suddenly feel nostalgic.. and a bit like I wanna turn back the hands of time and go back to the moment when I had just said yes to his offer of forever-ever-after. I want to carry that image, the memory of that moment, from the starting line of the process all the way to the starting point of our life together :)

teacher teacher

Darling Beau and I are both part-time professors, on top of everything else happening in our lives. In fact, he's more of one than me, because he teaches in all the semesters of law school, and more importantly, at least for this term, he teaches 3 loads (meaning 3 classes) of students versus my lone class on Saturday mornings. His classes are all on weeknights, which to me are even more tiring, because not only will you have traffic to contend with at rush hour, you also tend to be low-batt already and talking for hours on end to a group of youngsters may not be the ideal way to end the day. And let's not even talk about compensation. This is not one of those jobs that slap your face with moolah to shut your gripes up. Indeed, teaching is more a calling than a profession. In fact, Dennis and I have come to see it more like charity work or volunteer work rather than a sideline or a job. Let me explain why.

Granted, teaching does bring in some dough, though not earth-shattering, that can offset some expenses. For instance, we computed that, from our teaching, we can likely pay off basic utilities like electricity and water every month. That's something, right? Or if we save it in a fund, it can buy a nice appliance after 4-5 months. But if you're one to put a value to your hours, then teaching may feel like a rip-off. Then again, if you think about it, when your company asks you to do overtime, it doesn't always pay you accordingly. At least this does. If you while away your time at the mall or surfing lazily at home, that doesn't pay either (in fact, it may even cost ya!) At least with this, your time goes to a good use.

On the flip side, teaching does take a lot out of you in the ff sense:
1. The hours you spend in class are about 80% you talking and 20% your students reciting. This means a stretched voice, lower back and legs a bit sore from standing and walking in the classroom, and the risk of wrinkles from the grief and undue stress if your students frustrate you. Multiply this by 4 for weekly classes to get a sense of the toll it takes on you per month. Multiply it by 3 then by 4 to get a sense of what Dennis goes through.

2. More than the hours spent in the classroom, the pre-work takes a longer toll on your time and energy. It's not just the research, mind you. It's the planning of the lesson plan, the syllabus and the actual teaching material. It's also making sure there's a healthy balance of theory and practice in the material, then also incorporating some time for free discussion. The good news is once you get one sem's worth of material done, all you have to do in succeeding semesters is to update it a bit. Then you're off. So it's more worth it when you intend to teach over a long period of time. If you only plan to do it in one semester, then the pre-work will definitely be a bitch.

3. There is a value to added sleep hours that you just can't put a number on :p And of course, if you're one to relish taking beach trips on the weekends, going on quick and unplanned excursions out-of-town or hibernating at home when there's no work, then teaching will feel like punishment. Don't even think of getting into it.

So, why do we do this? Again, as I said, we've come to see this as volunteer work, as a way of giving back to the world, to God and to the institution of education, for the blessings we've received in our lives. Just like other volunteer work, it is very rewarding, especially when you realize you're getting through to the kids and that they actually emerge better people as a result of your class. There is an immense satisfaction in seeing that, even if you don't have kids yet, you've helped somehow in the raising of someone else's child-- in the molding of his or her mind for the eventual pursuit of a meaningful profession. There's a palpable sense of fulfillment and a great pride in seeing your efforts bear fruit. Sometimes, I even think of it as a rehearsal for parenthood. Last night, I bumped into some students while walking to Greenbelt. They're working now, either as 5th year residents or as fresh graduates, and I felt some strange mix of pride and nostalgia as though they were my own kids. In fact, I still find myself interested in what they're doing and how they're doing. And I told my class earlier that if they need help on anything, they know how to reach me. And I meant it.

Also, there are other selfish motivations. For instance, working as a marketer and being immersed in a materialistic, overly commercialized world, I find a unique sense of sanity in the classroom-- it reminds me that not everything is about making revenues or increasing sales. There are better and more noble jobs out there. And since teaching is one of them, it gives me a sense of purpose and a different sense of calm to top off the week. I feel better, in other words. Less stressed. More balanced out. Another motivation is it's a reminder to me that meritocracy still exists in this world. That in the sanctity of the four walls of a classroom, if you put in the work and the effort, it will pay off. It doesn't matter who you know, how rich you are, or if you can suck up really well. A level-playing field is not extinct after all. A third motivation is sometimes, your students actually end up teaching you. They let you in on what the new generations are about, what they are into, how they think and how they feel. They also force you to go back to basics and lose all the complications that adult life can sometimes push you to take on. Life can be and should be easy. And fun.

So all in all, it's not a bad gig. It's destressing, it's calming, it's fun, and it's fulfilling. Sure, it means waking up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning or getting home at 9 on a weeknight. It can also mean a few hours every week updating notes or a powerpoint file. But all in all, the fruits come weightier than the costs. And the teaching part makes the working part of life much more bearable. It's not for everyone, of that I am very sure, but it's definitely for us.

Teacher, teacher! :)


P.S. I'm just on my 2nd sem as a teacher, but I realize I've come to really "own" this thing. In fact, when considering getting married around Sept next year, one of the things Dennis & I immediately considered were our classes, i.e. Oh no, we won't be able to teach... Hahaha! Intense! :p

There are 5 people in my life to whom this will forever and ever apply:

You are what home means to me. You're my heaven.

Today really reminded me of that.

if you want suffering, enroll yourself in MBA

This is really one of those days when I curse myself for enrolling in an MBA program. It takes up so much energy, so much time and so much brain cells-- added on top of work, teaching and my personal life. During these days, I have to revisit all my reasons for doing post-grad studies, plus consider all the resources used up to get this far in the program. Which will go down the drain if I bow out. Plus, I have never quit on anything. At least not yet. (there's always a first time, hek hek hek...)

I have to consciously and deliberately remind myself that I'm doing this for the future- meaning, for career advancement (because some positions just give an extra boost for an MBA-degree holder; plus, it's easier to justify a pay increase or other benefits) and, more importantly, to guide myself and lessen mistakes when I put up my own business. I have to remind myself that I'm going through this "torture" with an end goal in mind. That I'm not just doing this for the heck of it or just to fill up idle energy (which I really do not have anyway). That someday, I will say the words "thank God I did my MBA"......

OK, let's think of why this whining happens... It's usually triggered when I have an unbelievably tough quantitative class, like this one I'm taking now called Management Science, and all the numbers, figures and formulas are driving me nuts!!!! It's also strange to me why such quantitative classes have such lengthily written books and references, full of texts and paragraphs! I thought numbers were supposed to replace words, eh how come my quanti books usually outweigh my quali ones?! :(

This also usually happens when I don't like my blockmates. And this is applicable this term. I hate catty girls who are overly competitive and super suplada. Please. If you don't have anything else going on in your life, and that's why you're acting out, please get away from me because I do not give a rat's ass about your problems.

This also happens when work gets unbelievably hectic at the same time that my classes get demanding and challenging. I guess I prefer having only one master at a time-- so it's either it's work or it's school. Can't be both.

Ok, time to stop whining and prepare for my online class.

Oh, that's another thing. Despite the 10-day quarantine that DLSU voluntarily subjected itself into, I just have to be in one of those classes that do online sessions :(

Hay...

Okay, why am I doing this again???

hmmmmm

Is opportunity knocking on the door??? :p

new beginning

OK, I've been negligent in terms of updating this lately. So much has happened. I got engaged. My best friend's wedding got called off. School started again. Work got strangely hectic. Oh, and did I mention I got engaged? :p

Since the engagement, I've received bridal prep stuff from Kaye, as well as some tips and files from other friends. I've also read more bridal magazines than I ever want to (Weird, it gets old after a while...) and I've changed my mind more times than I can remember over aspects of the wedding like my dress, our venue, the color motif, etc. I didn't know being a bride was more than just blushing and smiling and looking really happy.

I know they often say being engaged is the best time of a girl's life. I realize now that I tend to disagree. It may be a unique time of your life, because it only happens once. It may be the time when everyone's focus is on you, but I tend to see the negative side of that coin as well. While it can be many good things, I don't agree it's the best, nor the happiest.

To be quite truthful, while I do look forward to the wedding, I must admit I am more excited about the life after. Sometimes to the point of entertaining thoughts of eloping or getting civilly married, only because what I truly cannot wait for is starting our life together. Our favorite topics of conversation are not about wedding suppliers or catering.. It's about our honeymoon, how we'll fix our first place, how our everyday schedule will be, how we'll set travel goals every other year, etc. And I love it. I love the fact that I want to be his wife more than his bride. Because "bride", for all intents and purposes, is really just a stopover towards something more meaningful.

This doesn't mean I don't care about the wedding at all. I do. I just carry a perspective that, while you only get married once, it's only 1 day out of the many days you two will have. It does deserve to be special, because it marks the beginning of a life together. But the focus shouldn't be on the party, on the band, on the clothes, on the frills and on the superficiality of a wedding. It should be about a love being celebrated and a love being sealed officially. And you should be just as excited (or more excited, in my case) about the morning after... and the morning after that, and the morning after that and the morning after that....

Being a bride is fun. But I think being a wife kicks being a bride's ass.

Hahahaha! :p

Lord, please look after Mia and guide her towards a full recovery.

LV Bloomsbury

Interesting--

maybe i'm not meant to ever enjoy thailand..

The same conditions that marked my first trip there are the same as this second trip tomorrow, i.e. time of the month + hot weather.... Tsk tsk tsk... At least the hotel looks nice.. I'll just bring my laptop and ipod and hope that I won't get too scared sleeping alone...

On the other hand, I can't wait to come home from Thailand (on Friday) because that means....

I can watch JL's new movie! YEAH!

(walang kokontra)

tang ina!!!! i can't wait!!!!

2010 na ba?!?!

Is it normal to wish that this year passes by already and we move on to the next?!?!

:(

bead-style earrings....

After buying myself this--I find myself wanting this--
I'm soooo stressed lately that I am soooo tempted to buy something to cheer myself up!!! Tsk tsk tsk...... :(

STATISTICS

is the new bane of my existence.... WAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all i want to do...

is spend every waking moment with you....

resolution

Ok, I don't really make resolutions, but this looks as good a time as any to make one--

Control spending. Curb consumerism and get more moolah in the bank.

Bow.

:)

Happy New Year!!! Time to face reality today!! :p

holiday over....

I feel like a kid again right now, but not in a good way... You know how when you were little and you have a 2-week long holiday break... You enjoy it so much you forget how school, homework and exams feel like....

And then, the Sunday right before school starts again comes along and you wish you have the power to stretch time to the point that the following Monday never ever comes.

That's how I feel now.

This is GMA's fault, for spoiling people :p

Arg! I don't want Monday to ever come!!!!!!!!

Zara Mania...

What is it about sales that make girls go so crazy? Dennis got so shell-shocked observing the girls over at the Zara sale; he said the boys side was much less violent and aggressive, plus the fitting rooms are never full and the place is much quieter. Hahaha!

Fitting Room Funny Moment:
Background: Zara imposed a 6-item limit for people who want to fit clothes, so it's easier if you have a companion outside who can grab stuff for you, like an additional shirt or a change of size or color, instead of stepping out and lining up again. I was already inside, fitting, when I suddenly heard:

Fitting room girl: Ma'am, pila po kayo sa likod please.

Random mom: Hindi, hindi para sa akin ito, para ito sa anak ko, iaabot ko lang. Yung anak ko nasa loob eh... yung mataba. Yung matabang mataba.

WOW! I would have broken down in tears if I was her daughter...

Second Funny Moment in Zara:
Two girls arguing:
Girl 1: I told you to grab that grey shirt already. It was the last one. Tuloy, that woman got it na. You're so slow kasi.

Girl 2: If you wanted it, you should've gotten it yourself noh...

Girl 1: But you were closer to it! Hello? Arg! You're so kakaasar..

Hehehehe :p

Also, the woman in front of me in the cashier spent almost 23k in that sale... buying mostly shirts and cottony tops... My gosh... Made my purchase of 4 pairs of slacks look like buying mints. Dennis hugged me after seeing how much that girl spent. He was so glad daw I'm practical.. Hello, me?!

In other news, I accidentally dropped a hanger while inside the fitting room and it landed smack on the top of my foot. Hence, a big bad purple bruise emerged from my skin about 30 minutes afterwards. My dad said, jokingly, I should sue Zara, for using "dangerous" hangers. My brother replied that I was the dangerous one. My clumsiness is... legen... wait for it, wait for it... dary. Hahahaha! :p

Ok, enough Zara for now. I shall stay away from that place until the sale is over. :p

new money advice

Never heard these before til today, but they ring so true:

"Remember that money's power is not in what you can buy with it now, but in the freedom and choices it can provide you tomorrow."

and

"While it's true that life is only one time, you will have many years to live it. So while you shouldn't fall in love with your money, you should also learn how to save a buck or two for a rainy day. Because rainy days will come, and you won't want to be caught without."

Herve Leger

His signature "bandage" dresses are actually kinda nice.... They're growing on me.... At first, when I saw them on InStyle, I thought, those are weird dresses and must be hard to get in and out of.. now that I see them more and more, they're actually not that bad and are kinda (or rather, really) sexy...

BONUS BONUS BONUS!!!!

Merry ang Christmas!!!!! :D

impending liberation....

One more final exam on Monday and I'm done for the year!!! YEAH!!! 2008 has been such a tiring year, in large part because of this MBA... so at this point, I can only be so short-sighted as to be ecstatic to be study-free for the next 2-3 weeks :p

iffy...

Christmas is just 2.5 weeks away, but I'm barely feeling the holiday spirit. Must be the fact that I have finals coming up, that I have 5 more days of training (intellectual training, not physical exercise, in case you're wondering) to go with a lot of work to do, and "bonus uncertainty" is definitely in the air. Hay.. Maybe I'll feel better (or at least more certain) after the 19th... (the company Christmas party) :p

Hay... I've been "secreting" things (you know.. The Secret) so hard and so much these past few days that I'm thinking maybe the universe is getting sick of me already... hehehehe... So I'll try my best not to overdo it... :p